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Hengie's Story

Hengie expresses the hardships her and her family faced growing up in Haiti and how her mother was a pillar to the close bond that her, her brother, and mother currently share. While battling the difficulties of growing up apart, Hengie describes her wishes for her family and their journey back to each other, establishing a strong foundation built on resilience, love, and unwavering determination, ultimately leading them back to the embrace of a cherished home.

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When I think of who I am today, though, there are specific people that come to mind. I've always considered my mom and my brother to be my rock, and I refer to them as that for multiple reasons. I have few recollections of how, like, my family dynamic was before the earthquake in Haiti. I can probably tell you it was, like, your typical nuclear household that you would expect, like, a middle-class family from Haiti to be. But as a family unit, like, we've we were tested early on.

The earthquake impacted us in different ways and just that was really, like, the day the world changed for us. And the loss of my father just caused a lot of uncertainty and just left so much uncertainty for a long time. And I can't even imagine how my brother and my mom, like, what was going through their minds at that time. For me, I was quite young, so, like, nothing really ever made sense to me. But they were much older, and I can imagine that it was equally a difficult time for them.

But it wasn't until years later where I was able to reflect and kinda define what that time meant for me. And I realized that I have to applaud my mom for a lot of things. Not once did I ever question her love or support for us during that time. My mom worked and fought for my brother and I to leave Haiti as soon as possible just because it was so unsafe. The country was in shambles, basically.

And the focus was always us. It was always our safety, our future, even though at that time, I can't even imagine how much she was struggling. And she was mourning the loss of her husband, the loss of her sister. So, it was a lot for her at that time. Like, I can't applaud her strength, really.

So, we left without her, and we did the journey to live with my aunt in Florida with a family friend. And we ended up living with my aunt for about two years. We saw our mom, like, every few months a few months or so. She wasn't here regularly. And from that, I would say sacrifice was one of the first lessons that my mom ever taught me.

Even though at the time it wasn't a question that we were her priority, I don't think at least I don't didn't understand the gravity of the sacrifice that we were making at the time. She worked very hard to make sure that we, like, turned out okay. And I put that in finger quotes because do you ever really turn out okay from such a traumatic event? But I wouldn't change our family dynamic for anything. Of course, I still wish that, you know, my father was still here with us, and that's never going to change him passing.

And grieving him and just grief in general is, like, a long and constant process, and it looks different for everyone. But I'd like to imagine that my father is proud of us. Proud of us for sticking together, for keeping our connection strong. I imagine he's proud of me for trying to make the most out of every opportunity, especially proud of my mom for getting us there, for loving us, and for staying strong. I hope she knows that I'm also really proud of her too.

My mom, my brother, and I, we lost a lot of time together. A lot of years spent just connecting, like, through phone calls, a lot of money spent on flights, and distance was always, like, a member of our family. And it was hard having to grow up away from each other for so many years. I struggled with us living apart for so long. It made me feel lost.

Like, I had no sense of what home really looked like. I didn't feel quite safe or welcomed anywhere. Home can be a lot of things, and I'm still in the process of figuring that out for myself. But my wish for my mom and my brother and for all of us really is to be able to find that place that allows us to be at ease and cherish that comforting feeling, to feel so at home somewhere.

University of Massachusetts Amherst

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