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Owen's Story, 2024

00:00 / 04:48

How has life been different than what you'd imagine? Well, I guess starting back from when I graduated college, I thought when I was in college, I said, you know, I get married, have a job, have a bunch of kids, live in a house, you know, all that kind of stuff. And, you know, that eventually happened. But one thing that didn't happen that I really wanted to have happen was that I have three brothers, and I was hoping that, you know, we all live in the same area that, you know, maybe once a month, we get together for lunch, discuss how our parents are doing, you know, talk about the future, how you know, just sort of like a, you know, bunch of guys getting together and, you know, having a good time. And that never happened, for various reasons.

And it was it was a big disappointment because, you know, these are, you know, three guys that I grew up with and spent a lot of time with and, you know, was looking forward to the future, them being part of the future. And, you know, as it turned out, they were not, a significant part of the future. I've had various relationships with different brothers at different times. But, short of going to funerals together, you know, there is very little of, spending time together on a regular basis. And, you know, there are lots of reasons for it.

You know? Other brothers had children. You know, one moved away. You know, there are just all sorts of things that happened, but it just didn't work out. So, it was a it was a great disappointment for me.

As for, you know, the other things, you know, I thought I'd get married and stay married forever because that's, you know, how I experienced life when I was growing up. You know, my parents got married and they stayed married until they died. And, you know, so I expected that. And it turned out I ended up getting divorced. And, you know, that was sort of a surprise for me, but there was really no choice.

I've made something for me to continue having a decent life. That had to happen. What else? You know, I wanted to have a bunch of kids, but I ended up only having one. And, you know, that was a disappointment for me.

And, basically, my relationship with my wife did not permit us to have more than one child. So, you know, that didn't work out. So, there's a bunch of things that that I had imagined would be a certain way in my life and then and weren't that way. You know, I would spend my life in one place and, you know, retire and, you know, do whatever old people do when they retire, which I haven't figured out yet, but I'm still trying to work that one out. So, you know, that was not, as I had expected my life to be.

You know, that that that's part of it. It doesn't mean that that since that didn't work out as I expected, it doesn't mean that what I ended up with was bad. It's just not what I had expected to be. I guess looking back at it now, now that you're older, now that these things has happened in your life, I guess, like, do you accept it now? Like, are you more okay with it now than before?

Well, there there's some things I am and some things I'm not. You know, I got married a second time. I got another kid. So, I have two kids now. So, you know, that's helped.

With my brothers, you know, I have one brother I talk to. I have one brother we have I have no communication with, and I have another brother who we have a very tentative email relationship with. So, you know, I'm not happy about that, but it's it is what it is. And, you know, one of the things I didn't mention was I always wanted to have grandchildren. Right?

I now have three grandchildren. It's great. I love it. I spend as much time as I can with them, and it's as much fun or more fun than I thought it was gonna be. And I really, really enjoy, even more than I thought I would.

And I think in part two I always enjoyed being with my grandparents, and it was just it was a a special thing. And, I'm hoping that my grandkids have that same experience and take it with them through.

University of Massachusetts Amherst

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