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< Back Mary Ann's Story Mary Ann recounts her childhood growing up in rural Connecticut and goes on to share the powerful act of kindness her paternal grandfather did for her which was teaching her to drive. She expresses how this act impacted her confidence and gave her a new sense of freedom. 00:00 / 05:05 Oh, I've been I've been so fortunate. There have been many people who've been really kind to me, but the one person who comes to mind is my maternal grandfather. He really did give me a really incredible gift, but at the time, neither of us really appreciated it. But his teaching me to drive when I was 15 years old was more than a kindness. It turned out to really sort of shape my life. So, there are three small towns, including Morris, where I live, that decided to put their resources, together and make a regional high school. Back then, this was quite an innovative idea, and it, really, you know, sort of raised the educational bar for all of us students. But the summers were hard, at least for me, because all of my best friends lived in the other towns, not Morris. And this was a problem because my father was working in Waterbury, Connecticut, and my mother did not drive. She never learned to drive. My grandfather had been a traditionalist, and he believed that only his sons needed to drive, and his daughters would be married, and they wouldn't need to drive. So, during the school year, my friends and I got to see each other most days, and that was fine. But during summer vacations, my friends and I were separated, and my mother certainly couldn't go, you know, driving me around because she couldn't even go to the grocery store by herself. So, during the summers, which at that point seemed pretty endless, my mother and my younger brother and I would spend time at my grandfather's house in Roxbury, and many days, we'd be fishing off the shore of this new lake that had destroyed his old farm. So, for me, it was quiet and sad, and for a teenager, pretty boring. For my grandfather, it must have been a kind of misery. So, the summer after my fifteenth birthday, my grandfather noticed that I seemed to be looking pretty bored, and he was feeling pretty bored too. So, one day, he came up with an idea. He said he had a jeep that he wasn't driving every day, so he said, why don't we go back, and I will teach you how to drive? By now, he had sort of progressed a little bit. He didn't have so many qualms about women driving anymore. So, we drove the Jeep out into the field behind his house, and he taught me how to drive a stick shift. So, after a few days of driving around in big circles through the grass, I actually had made my own little dirt track back there. And that summer, every day, I would go out there and drive around and around on my dirt track, and I got confident and faster, and I'd kick up a lot of dust and picture myself on road trips, going to places I'd never seen. And it turned out to be one of the best summers I'd ever spent. But I was still only 15, and I couldn't get my driver's license yet for another year. So, it was eight weeks before my sixteenth birthday when my father died suddenly, unexpectedly at the age of 48. So, after the initial shock, the reality of, life in the country without being able to drive sort of hit us all in the face. I did ask high school teachers who are just generous beyond anything I could have imagined. My music teacher, mister Eddie, was also the driver's ed teacher. He made sure that I got into the driver's ed class as soon as possible. And I already knew how to drive a standard transmission, thanks to my grandfather. So, essentially, all I had to do was do a written test and a road test, and now I was a driver. And as for me, well, this was like autonomy and identity. So now I could drive myself to my cello lessons by myself. I got to be a cheerleader, and I could get to the basketball games and the after game parties all on my own. I became a majorette in the high school marching band, and I can now drive myself to all the parades wherever the band was performing. And when our senior play was ongoing, I never had to miss a rehearsal. The other thing this did for me, the driving, gave me more self-confidence than I'd ever had before. And this was tremendously important because my future after high school, to me, felt like a big question mark. I needed to go to college, but it required a full scholarship for four years. After that, when I decided to get a Master of Arts in teaching, that required a fellowship too. And, frankly, I don't know if I would have had the drive and the determination to plow through this stuff and to accomplish this if I hadn't had the self-confidence that my grandfather's driving lessons had given me when I desperately needed it. So, his driving lessons were a gift really that informed so much of the rest of my life, And I really wish he had lived long enough for me to tell him how important he was to me and to thank him for his eternal kindness Previous Next

< Back Charlie's Story, 2022 Charlie recounts his rich experience traveling the world, and what he has learned from a lifetime of travel. He discusses the importance of how traveling helps us experience and help better understand other cultures, and how the individuals of these cultures shape his experiences. 00:00 / 04:58 So to start out, I wanted to ask you to tell me about your travels throughout your life. Oh, totally I've been we've been very lucky with the chances to travel widely and a number of ways. We've traveled in Europe and Southeast Asia, Australia, New Zealand. And we traveled by boat and we travel by plane to some places that folks don't likely get to. So we've been very lucky. What what we started doing was bareboat chartering. And so we go down with friends and charter a boat for a week and poke around. And then we got to know some folks down there. And that led to a number of trips that took us to quiet little places that were very special. Yeah, what places did you end up visiting? Well, the some of the most interesting those days were in the Bahamas, which is not far from Florida. The Bahamas, or that's an earring because that a lifestyle is a very simple one and tied closely to the water. So people fish and people say, Oh, it's a much less complicated life.Each culture has its own defining food preferences, but so it becomes a question of which your pleasure artists are buried. So when you hurt Italy, I remember, we literally he took us out into the countryside of his place, and we'll probably had five or six courses. And in between each course, there was a different pasta dish. So oh, you could Oh, the pasta, trouble. And other cultures that fish can be defining, particularly in the islands where the fresher, fresh and wonderful. And and then of course, there's always the wind to wash it down with that makes that compliments of me also. It's all fun. Some of the places that we went to, as I say, we traveled around the world. And it's you, you realize when you travel that, wow, the architecture and the historic ask aspects are interesting. It's the people that make the difference. And so we'd always try and somehow connect with local folks wherever we were. And that made it especially nice. It was interesting because you can read forever about different cultures but until you talk to the people, while you're there isn't really illuminated and and so the people flesh out the sense you have the culture. So I know that it is it's clear that you've had a lot of time spent traveling and going throughout different places in the world. I definitely want to be able to travel more in my future and so I was curious if you had any advice for me for my future travels. The only advice I would give as a general advice that remember that traveling in my view is about the opportunity to meet people and focus on people lose much this the charm with the area and look food and all the reasons that it's appealing. Previous Next

< Back Ray's Story In this clip, Ray discusses his journey to a love of theater and acting. Acting has taught him a great deal about life, and is a critical part of his identity. 00:00 / 03:52 Ray: So, um, my English teacher in my freshman year English class also happened to be the guy who ran the drama activities at Springfield College. This is 1961 we're talking. He was always trying to get the jocks to try out for the - because he never had enough bodies for the plays that he was doing. Then I tried out for a play in the spring quarter of my freshman year and I got a small part in a play called - by Tennessee Williams - called Cat on a Hot Tin Roof! So I got to see all the plays that they did, which was an eye-opener to me, because I had never seen a play before, really. Never seen the live theater. I fell in love with the idea of making theater. It was imaginative, it was like you all created to- as a, as a group of people, you created something, and, that was imaginary, and you lived in it! And you got to express a part of yourself that might not be able to be expressed in the rest of your life! It seemed very magical to me. So anyway I had decided, “Well I’m going to transfer and become an English major.” But I also said, “Maybe there's some theater going on over at the junior college, maybe they do something in the summer.” So I went over, offering to work backstage, but they said, “Aren't you going to try out for the plays? We do two plays in the summer. You should - ought to do that.” So I tried out for the first play and got a supporting role in it! I'm sure I was terrible. (Laughter) But, I did it, and found it interesting. And then the guy who ran their theater program at the junior college, he directed the second play they did in the summer. And he cast me in the lead for that without me even having to audition! And as it turned out, also I got a headline in the paper, in the Flint Journal, a review, and it said “Burke Scores in Local Play.” In all the time I did athletics, there was no recognition at all, and suddenly I had a degree of public success that just blew me away! I had - amazed me! It made me really turn my head around. Not just to switch and become an English major; I wanted to study theater. That fall, I suddenly was in Evanston at Northwestern University, and found myself as a full-time theater student. My focus was to be acting, but I loved all aspects of working in the theater. After I finished graduate school I did teach, uh, at Southern Methodist University, for, uh, three years. And then that led into working in more professional situations, and eventually I left the educational theater behind. And said, I want to try and see if I can't make it as a professional actor. There’s the same kind of progression that you do there. That led to, you know, working in regional theater for 14 years, which led to I wanted to work in a larger kind of framework, so I said I wanted to do television and film. So we all moved to Los Angeles and I was there for 20 years, doing TV and film and some theater. And after twenty years, um, we shifted and moved to the Twin Cities where I still continued to, ‘cause they have wonderful regional theater there, a really great - the Guthrie Theater. And I worked there for 16 years and only occasionally in television and film, when something would come to town that I’d get a part in. So I’ve been, now, a professional actor now for fifty years, and a student of acting for almost 60 years. My wife has always said that acting for me is a practice. It's not a career as such. So it’s more than just the way I turn my living, it's a way that has shaped me and fulfilled me as a human being. I think I said to you once that I'm a better actor because of having a full personal life. I'm also a better person for having been an actor, I think. Previous Next

< Back Tamar's Story Tamar Shadur talks to Ngozi Okeke about how she would like to be remembered through the different ways in which she lived her life. She discusses her artistic passion for tapestry weaving and how it became a lifelong career. She was able to emphasize the different themes that have come out in her work and how she and her Mother have worked together to produce meaningful pieces. 00:00 / 04:07 How would you like to be remembered? I want to be remembered I think for someone who has not been afraid to take risks. Because, you know, having such a kind of changeable lifestyle from a very early age I was a little insecure at times, you know because I was always in new situations. When I was growing up in the 50’s and early 60’s I thought, oh no problem you know, I’ll just get married and I don’t have to worry about anything, but reality kicks in when you’re in your early twenties and you realize that no, you have to have a profession, you have to support yourself. But, something saved me from, you know, really becoming discouraged about a lot of things, which was tapestry weaving. I dropped out of art school, I was an art major, and I became a tapestry weaver in the late seventies in Jerusalem and there was this studio and for two years I worked there. Learning this complex skill of weaving very fine tapestries, large mural size pieces with a weaving partner next to me and it's a whole culture that opened up a door to a whole art aesthetic and field of art that wasn’t very much known, but those days are kind of over today they don’t support these kinds of industries so much anymore. When I came to the U.S. later, it became my main career for a while with my ex-husband. We produced tapestries and we basically became tapestry artists. We wove tapestries that my Mother designed, that we designed, and that became my sort of strong hold for feeling grounded and having something to do if all else fails. But it didn’t really support me financially so I had to gain a career and support myself. So I finished two degrees, one in art education and one at the masters school of education at UMass and I became an ESL teacher. And I was a Hebrew teacher, and gave art workshops, for papercutting and tapestry weaving. So I developed a career as a teacher, and now that I am not doing that as much, I would like to be known as one who contributed to my community both in educational ways and as a volunteer. And now lately, that I have more opportunities to exhibit my work and my Mother’s work, and give talks about it, and in fact, right now this month, in May there is a show at Michaelson gallery, Northampton called “Generations” and my work, my tapestry work, is alongside my Mother’s papercuts. One of them is the largest and most complex mural tapestry that I have woven that my Mother designed called, “Yizkor Holocaust Memorial Tapestry”. Yizkor means remembrance, that’s the prayer said over the dead and over the victims of the Holocaust. On my website there is also a description of what this tapestry is about. This one is the major work that took many years for me to complete with all the interruptions in my life. And it’s sort of a memorial piece that symbolizes the life of Jews in Europe before the destruction by the Nazis, with a lot of Jewish symbols that my Mother incorporated in her papercuts and it includes my personal memorials of my own family members, including my brother who passed away early on when he was only 38, and my two parents, and there is a homage to 9/11 by the letters W.T.C., World Trade Center, on the top border. It’s all part of the memorial tapestry and the events that happened over the many years that this tapestry was on the loom that enabled me to commemorate my personal memorials beyond the memorial for the life of Jews in Europe, which was my Mothers intention in the design. Those are some main anecdotes in my life, I think, and who else knows what awaits me. Previous Next

Janice's Story In this story, Janice explains her life long connection to animals and how her experiences working with animals have become her most fulfilling achievements. Scroll to Listen Janice's Story 00:00 / 03:36 Janice: I have to say I was drawn to animals from the very start of my life. As soon as I—I grew up in the woods basically and explored a lot and can’t remember a time where animals weren’t special to me. I had a parakeet when I was a kid, as an adult I’ve had dogs, cats, rabbits, snakes, turtles, fish, a wonderful rat who traveled around on my shoulder, mice, gerbils, guinea pigs—I’ve might of left something out but you get the picture. When I got to be an adult, I read more, I learned more, and I started to support a lot of animal welfare organizations. And I got older I transitioned from animal welfare to animal rights. And basically, now I think I support both of them. The experience I’ve had with the most depth was also volunteering for a shelter, but this was for their training department. I worked as an assistant trainer for five years. I had just—I just learned so much. I mean, I was essentially was just thrown out to the training and floor and said, “ok now you work with them.” Rebecca: Oh my—what were you working with, dogs? Janice: Oh yes, dogs. Many of which were shelter dogs, and a lot of those owners were kind of really at the end of their rope because they couldn’t get the dog to respond the way the wanted it to and it almost was like we were the last stop before being returned to the shelter. So I realized that my biggest job was to make get the owners to like their dogs, and to get the dogs to trust the owners, and to get them all to realize training was fun. I had an amazing assortment of dogs. In five years, you can imagine—a golden retriever who wouldn’t work at all for treats but would do anything for a hug; a Doberman pinscher who had to do everything behind a curtain because she was so frightened of all the other dogs. I had dogs—little Shih Tzus—who had terrible abuse histories who just tried so hard. They were so earnest and so brave. There was another dog there who was being raised in a bilingual household and we had to say, “Bueno! Bueno!” I was never bored. I was in my element. I became the hotline for my friends and family who were having trouble with their dogs, and I only stopped when I moved away. When I moved away from Massachusetts to Maryland. I do consider it one of the greatest experiences of my life. Rebecca: That sounds so incredible. Janice: I’m proud. Rebecca: You should be. Janice: You know, I’ve had a lot of jobs, a lot of professional positions, and I have two master’s degrees, but when people ask me what I do, well I say I’m a former dog trainer because I’m just so happy that I did that.

Stephanie's Story In this story, Stephanie discusses one of her professors. Even if they didn’t always see eye-to-eye, Stephanie greatly valued their presence in her life, as well as their advice. Their mentorship will stay with her throughout her life. Scroll to Listen Stephanie's Story 00:00 / 02:28 Annabel: Well, is there one person in your life - maybe a professor at your school, or a relative back in Ghana, or a neighbor - is there anybody that you have looked up to that has had an enormous influence on you and choices you’ve made? Or career goals? Stephanie: Yeah, there is one person. I mean, to be honest, it was - like - she did pass away. She was a professor at UMass. She was a bio professor. I mean, she didn’t teach because she hated teaching. She was more focused on lab work, though, that was what she did. And she researched cancer and viruses, she was a virology professor, basically. Annabel: Oh, wow. Stephanie: Yeah, and - at the beginning, I didn’t like her. Cause, we just didn’t match. At the beginning I didn’t like her. And then, she kept forcing me to meet her, so then, I met her, and, yeah, we just started talking. I’m like, “Oh, okay! That’s an interesting perspective! Let me try this and see whether it works. And then, yeah, I just kept coming to her, and then we built that bond, of talking, and figuring out what I’m going to do in the future. And, yeah. But she basically was trying to force me to go to grad school. Annabel: Wow! Stephanie: Yeah, and be a scientist! And I’m like, “No! I don’t want to be a scientist!” But, let me see how this goes. I’m going to try your method and see whether it works - if it doesn’t we can think about something else. But yeah, I liked that about - every time I’d go to her, she’d give me the options. Like, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this. These are the steps you can do, these are the steps, dadadadada. This is what I did, and this is what you can do. But yeah, um, she unfortunately passed away. So I felt like it was kind of unfinished. Like, yeah, I feel like we didn’t finish talking about what we were supposed to talk about. Annabel: I assume that it has impacted your career goals. Stephanie: Yeah, definitely. I mean - I still don’t want to be a scientist. If she was here, she’d be like “ahahaha! Let’s see what happens in the future.” I still don’t want to be a scientist, but I am interested in viruses and virology, so we’ll see how it goes. Annabel: Wow.

Leslie's Story In this clip, Leslie shares her passion for improving the quality of life for people with disabilities with a specific focus on young children and families. Scroll to Listen Leslie's Story 00:00 / 04:07 Leslie: So my passion has been improving the quality of life for people with disabilities with a particular focus on young children and families in my professional roles. When I was a teenager, I became interested in what we called at the time, “mental retardation”, today known as “cognitive impairment” or “developmental disabilities”. One of my first professional jobs was working in a grant funded program for visually impaired children and adults in a state institution. I was fortunate to be part of the movement in the 1970s to expose the abuses of these institutions and improve the conditions as a result of state and federal lawsuits with subsequent funding. Leslie: As we developed this new program and learned about the ravages of trauma and deprivation of institutional life on those children and adults, we understood that we needed to develop relationships with many other staff. Including those in direct care roles who had been there for generations and were wary of so many new young professionals. When I left that position a few years later, I knew I had learned a lot understood, that I had cultivated some good advocacy skills and appreciated that teamwork was a very powerful approach for effective change. Working in that state institution was a jarring and humbling experience. When I left the position, I was aware that many of the people I had worked with had no one to advocate for them. Leslie: I subsequently became a legal guardian for a woman, Diana. She had been born in the institution to her mother, another resident, who had been abused and suffered from syphilis. Subsequently, Diana was deaf limited vision in one eye. I was able to use my knowledge and relationships with staff to improve the quality of Diana's life, first in the institution, later in a group home. Leslie: In contrast to my first position at the institution, I was honored to be part of the progressive approach to including these children and their communities and supporting parents in providing for their child's needs. Service delivery was based on interdisciplinary teamwork, including parents, educators, nurses, social workers and speech occupational and physical therapists. Our philosophy had that parents and families were the most important members of that team and without their investment, we professionals would not succeed. I often tell the story of one of my first home visits with Bonnie, our team nurse. I remember sitting on the floor observing and interacting with the baby while Bonnie was sitting on the couch talking with the mother. Initially, I was annoyed that Bonnie wasn't assessing the child's needs, but quickly recognized that the conversation and relationship with the mother was the most important part of the visit. Leslie: When I moved into an administrative position in the public schools in the early 2000s, I worked collaboratively with guidance counselors in the high schools for students with disabilities could have more equal access to academics and extracurricular activities. In these public schools I thoroughly enjoyed my role as a team leader, facilitating meetings with parents and staff to create appropriate educational programs for each student. Leslie: The teamwork during my early intervention years and some relationships built at that time remained today. There have been several reunions over the years. We rallied over Zoom during the beginning of the pandemic to honor our colleague, Bonnie, who had passed away and had been a mentor for many of us. We recently had a physical reunion just a couple of months ago, about a dozen women, some from out of state. In addition to discussing everyone's current activities and families, the conversation always comes back to what great work we did in those early years and how important that teamwork was to our success.

< Back Rick's Story Rick talks about his parents and how they were his lighthouses growing up. Specifically, he focuses on how a moment with his father in the hospital has guided his view on the meaning of life. 00:00 / 03:15 I have always felt that my parents were kind of my lighthouses. You know they kind of guided me along the way and I think that my father was more protective of the rocks, but my mom was the lighthouse that steered me to shore when maybe I hit the rocks. They were pretty incredible people, I mean and it is sort of, of course like any family we had our own disfunctions. My father raised birds and when I say we had birds, he had maybe 40 parakeets in a cage on wheels in the garage that he would wheel out. We had ring-necked doves and white doves in the basement in a huge coop. And then he actually built a huge coop outside for the cocktails. So we grew up with lots of birds and he was a very gentle man, he was a man of birds and flowers. My mother was very, my mother was always making something for somebody, okay. She was always crocheting or knitting. And if she loved a soap opera star who had a baby she would send them things that she made. And she was always feeding people. And if she didn’t have food to give someone if she came, she would give you canned food. “You sure you have enough to eat honey?” you know. We took in a lot of people who had no place to go during Christmas and so there were always people who would come for the holidays. They kind of took people under their wing. I think one of the most significant things that happened for me was when my father had kidney disease and when he, it was discovered he only had kidney. Um and he eventually had to go for dialysis but he had that type of poisoning that happens and we were all gathered in the hospital room and I thought that that was going to be the time that he was going to be leaving us. My father has blue eyes, but his eyes changed color. They just sort of. I don’t even know how to describe it, they became translucent and we all noticed that. But he was looking behind us, and I just knew that his brother was in the room, his mother was in the room. You know, his relatives were in the room and that they were there to get him. And to take him. And I really didn’t expect that he would live that night, but he did. And so in the following morning when we went to visit him, and we of course were thrilled that he was still there you know, he said, “I really thought I was going to leave last night and I never thought I would have the opportunity to say I love you again.” And I thought, oh my god, that’s it. That’s the only reason why we are here, that he gave me my mantra. He gave me my purpose. He gave me this incredible insight that the only reason that we are here is for the opportunity to love and say those words. And we forget that as we squabble, as you know, as we go through everything we go through. You know but, that to me became the beacon of his lighthouse. Previous Next

Francine's Story In her interview with Carolyn, Francine reflects on her time in Denmark back when she was a junior in college. She looks back fondly at the many memories and life lessons of her host, Frau Nielsen. Fran reflects on how Frau Nielsen changed her young mind’s conception of what it means to be old. Scroll to Listen Francine's Story 00:00 / 04:08 ‘Kay, so the person I want to tell you about is Frau Nielsen. It’s funny Frau is like Mrs. or Miss or something [in Danish], but that’s what I always called her. I think her first name was Marie, but I never used it. And she was the person I lived with when I was a junior in college and went to Denmark for a year. And she had a big impact on the way I viewed the world and my life. I had dinner with Frau Nielsen and what I really remember is that we just had these incredibly interesting conversations every single night. And, in fact, I tried to study Danish and the problem was… sometimes I’d say to her, “Let’s just try to speak Danish”. But then, all we could say was, you know, “How are you?”. You know, we couldn’t say anything interesting, so we’d always go back to English, which she was quite good [at]. Although sometimes, she would mix in a German word ‘cause she also knew German. Carolyn: So next, question. What are the most, or some of the most, valued lessons that Frau Nielsen taught you while you were over there? Okay so, the first lesson for me was, I would call it anti-ageism because when I was 20-years-old, I was really ageist. And when I first got to Denmark, all the people that were going to house students were waiting at the train. And there were these young families with kids and everything, and that was my image of what I was hoping to have. Although I already knew [it would be Fraun], because she had written me a letter that she wasn’t [young]. And I saw this old woman standing there. You know, it’s kind of funny now, because she was 67, which is six years younger than I am now. I remember my heart sank, I just thought, “Oh why did I get a bad choice?” or whatever. And it was, I had such a fantastic year because of her. So I realized how absurd that was. But also, I had all kinds of stereotypes like I thought it was just an amazing thing that she could ride a bicycle. I mean she would ride a bike to the train station. Now that I’m seventy-three, I have a friend who goes on 100-mile bike rides like it’s nothing. And even when I was older, even when I got better after knowing her, at my wedding, I invited the mother of my husband’s best friend in college. The mother was probably in her sixties and we thought it was so impressive that she had made her way to our house all by herself [laughs]. I mean it’s just ridiculous [Carolyn laughs]. Anyways so, I mean I did get better in that I thought older people were worth knowing. But I still probably harbored a lot of stereotypes even into my thirties. Anyways, so that was the first lesson. The other thing was she was so intellectually alive, and always always trying to learn new things like taking courses… And the first week that I got there, she had a birthday party for herself and she had a bunch of friends over. They had this discussion about what was the best American novel and they asked me my opinion, which I felt completely unqualified to give. I mean I had an opinion, but what struck me was like how intellectual they all were. And they weren’t all college professors, I mean she was a teacher but it’;s not like they had… It’s not like their profession was predominantly intellectual professions. They just were intellectual. It's just really… something that I think about everyday, that I just want to keep learning. And I really learned that from her.

Caleigh's Story Caleigh reflects on the importance of becoming a role model for her five-year-old niece, Natalie. Being there for her as she grows up is something extremely important to Caleigh. Scroll to Listen Caleigh's Story 00:00 / 02:37 Caleigh: I just love stories in general anyways because it makes people who maybe would have never interacted realize their shared humanities. I just want say a story that I heard in class—It was a story in class about a young man who welcomed a little brother into his world, and he realized that this world was no longer about him and he wasn’t just a big brother, he was a role a model. Everything he accomplished and everything he strived for wasn’t only for himself but to set a good example for his brother. When I read that story in class it made me think of my five-year-old niece, Natalie, and we are very close. She’s my whole world, I love her so much. After reading that story, I took a step back and I was like, “who am I as an auntie and how does she see me?” She looks up to me, she mimics me, she wants to be just like me, she always wants to spend time with me, and it made me think about what kind of person do I want her looking up to? I am no longer just an auntie, but I am setting a good example for her. I want to show her that she is capable of anything she sets her mind to. I am the first one in my family to go to college and I would love to be a role model for her to see, you know, auntie goes to college, and I can do it and I want to be just like her. And through just reading that story of the man—the boy—who welcomed his brother in the world, it just connected me and him and we’ve never met. I hope that everything that I’ve learned in my 20 and a half years—today is my half birthday—I want to share those experiences with her so that she doesn’t make some of the mistakes that I’ve made, but also that she can follow in my footsteps because I feel like I am a great role model for her. That’s—you know—I have two older brothers. I never really had a female role model, other than my mom, someone that was closer to my age, so in a way we are so close, and I’ve been with her since she was in the womb.

< Back Laura's Story In this story, Laura reflects on her connection to modern dance and how it has followed her throughout her life. 00:00 / 05:28 Laura: I believe I was four and my mother in a creative movement class that was in the basement of this teacher’s home. She was just magical to me. She—her name was Roslyn Fidel. I have very vivid memories of being in this class at age four and growing like a flower, leaping over rivers, and just the magic of being in the presence of this captivating figure—this dance teacher. So, it never stopped after that. We moved further out of Long Island, and my mother found another wonderful teacher of modern dance. In my—I guess maybe my junior year—I would start taking the Long Island railroad into the city to take classes at the 92nd Street Y. In my senior, I started dancing with one of these pioneers of modern dance, his name was Charles Weidman, and would be in these performances on Friday nights. And then I became a dance major at Ohio State but didn’t last because I actually became ill with anorexia and left school and then there were different steps to where ended up. I was in very bad shape and this dance teacher from my teen years called me, and she said that she had heard another of the students in that group was at the University of Wisconsin and she was studying something called dance therapy. And she thought I might be interested in. She had heard I was having a hard time. So, within a week, I was enrolled at NYU in their dance therapy program. And it was such a lifesaver for me because I had been—there was such conflict, such yearning to dance; and I was so depressed and unable to dance; I didn’t have the strength, and it felt so far away—as soon as I walked into that first class of dance therapy I realized—I discovered that I could bring dance back into my life in a way that would also help other people and be really meaningful and meet me where I was at a person and give me this future. Dance actually didn’t end up becoming my main career. Actually, I got a master’s degree in social work. I managed to through missing dance and feeling that social work was never the appropriate—the best—career for me, I was not one to sit in a chair. I managed to discover a way to continue to dance indirectly through the social work because I was working with elders and discovered there was woman who—Liz Lerman—who had an intergenerational dance company. I saw a picture of her dancing with these older dancers in this Swan Lake lineup, and I was just captivated. You know, I once wrote something about this question of growing older as a dance. When I—often times—and it used to happen maybe more, I would dream about dance. Actually, I just had a dream where I could do amazing things in my dream. I could fly into the stars. I would take off from the ground and sail and wouldn’t come down—things like that. So, I had written this—it was an article actually for a magazine about growing older as a dancer, and this hope that those images when I closed my eyes and dream, that I would still have that capacity to conjure those. That they would still come to me. Because I think the imaginable life—the dream life—is another life and maybe that would be something that would be a gift in my dying days. Previous Next

Grazy discusses how her family's immigration to the United States impacted her upbringing and her values and experiences in the U.S. Grazy's Story Grazy discusses how her family's immigration to the United States impacted her upbringing and her values and experiences in the U.S. Scroll to listen Grazy's Story 00:00 / 05:10 “I wanted to start my story off with my Dad immigrating from Brazil to the United States. He did this in 1989. At first he came to the U.S. to send money back to my mom and my sister that were back in Brazil, and he was just here working, and he thought he might as well just immigrate our family over to the States. They came over in 99’ and that’s when I was born too in the U.S. I think their experience of being immigrants here was definitely one that had an impact on me growing up. I think that they had a lot of troubles with just being in a new place in general. I think moving, period, is hard, I can’t imagine having to move from one country to another where it’s hard to get used to new people around you, new surroundings. Growing up I always had that in the back of my mind of the sacrifices my parents made to come over here and just their story of pushing forward just to better my future, my sister future, my brothers future by being here. I think their pushing through in this country definitely motivated me, I feel like it adds pressure for you to feel like you always have to succeed, you always feel like you have to do good, you always have to hit different milestones and always work your way up and I would always feel pressure, not because my parents would necessarily put it on me but, I would always think back to them sacrificing their whole life to come to the U.S., and the U.S. is seen as like the land of opportunity, there’s this overall message of if you immigrated to the U.S. you are lucky, you are allowed in the borders. I think today it is definitely a lot harder to immigrate here than when my parents did it, but I think that there’s this message of immigrants are sort of second class citizens almost, because goes Americans just have a leg over everyone. I think being born here, I just thought “Oh ok I have to succeed, I have to make my parents trip here worthwhile.” and it was a lot of pressure growing up and it felt, it felt like I was never reaching that finish line of “Ok I made it.” It was always something else, and I feel like growing up now I can look back and say that all that I have accomplished, it was the best I could do at that time and, my parents were always proud of me and whatever I did, every milestone I hit, every little award that I got, I knew my parents knew that I pushed myself. Especially with them seeing me struggle in school, every grade I got I know they knew it was my best. But it’s hard to feel like youre never enough and, if anything, growing up here made me appreciate things more. I feel like one of the gifts they’ve given me is empathizing with others and having more sympathy for others. I think it’s something that of course if you’re not from a family of people that immigrated, of course you can feel for others, you sort of, view immigration issues differently, you see how the countries government works differently in a way, I just feel like you view people differently. I would never think of someone as an alien to this country, and so many people are so ok with saying that term in referring to people and their stories that way. The majority of my dad’s life has been spent in the U.S., and for someone to look at him and think “Oh he doesn’t belong here”, he’s contributed so much, and everyone contributes so much with what they bring culturally to the U.S. when they are from outside of the U.S., like so much of our food is from different cultures and the U.S., I think we wouldn’t be what we are today without these people.”