< Back Molly's Story Molly shares her unique journey through motherhood, detailing her experiences with her wife and their two adopted children. She describes her travels around the world and her struggles with infertility, which ultimately led to the beautiful story of adopting her two children. Molly reflects on how her children grew up in Boston and thrived right before her eyes. 00:00 / 02:14 So I adopted a daughter. She was named Elena Eugenia Mead. The orphanage director in Latakunga said she was one year old. And we hired a woman to take care of her, to change her diapers, to give her more nutritious food, to help her learn to walk. And then when we lived at Jackson Road, we had rocks thrown out through our window, and the kids were chalking that we were lesbians, and that's not okay. So we adopted Marlena when she was four. I flew to Ecuador with Elena when she was seven years old. The three of us were able to stay at our, the lawyer's house in Kito. Marlena had tantrums almost every day, and they were very tough to recognize. Marlena slept on our floor almost every night, and she wet her bed a couple of times. So we gave her pull-ups because she was four years old. The good news is she was able to reach her family. One of the people involved in the adoption lived in Ecuador. Marlena flew to Kito and was reunited with her family. She has a half-brother named Polo. Her mother looks just like her. She was able to reach her dad as well. Marlena did kindergarten at the preschool in Somerville, and then Marlena needed to go to Cambridge Ring in Latin. But we sent Eli to Conquer Academy, and he was a day student, so we, we dropped him off every day at the train station in, in Porter Square. And he did all four years at Concord Academy. Elias has transitions to be a man, and we see him, like, six times a year. He lives in Dorchester. We talk all the time with Marlena. She lives in Chicopee. I love being a mom, and I think Carol does as well, so fulfilling. Previous Next

Tamar Shadur talks to Ngozi Okeke about how she would like to be remembered through the different ways in which she lived her life. She discusses her artistic passion for tapestry weaving and how it became a lifelong career. She was able to emphasize the different themes that have come out in her work and how she and her Mother have worked together to produce meaningful pieces. Tamar's Story Tamar Shadur talks to Ngozi Okeke about how she would like to be remembered through the different ways in which she lived her life. She discusses her artistic passion for tapestry weaving and how it became a lifelong career. She was able to emphasize the different themes that have come out in her work and how she and her Mother have worked together to produce meaningful pieces. Scroll to listen Tamar's Story 00:00 / 04:07 How would you like to be remembered? I want to be remembered I think for someone who has not been afraid to take risks. Because, you know, having such a kind of changeable lifestyle from a very early age I was a little insecure at times, you know because I was always in new situations. When I was growing up in the 50’s and early 60’s I thought, oh no problem you know, I’ll just get married and I don’t have to worry about anything, but reality kicks in when you’re in your early twenties and you realize that no, you have to have a profession, you have to support yourself. But, something saved me from, you know, really becoming discouraged about a lot of things, which was tapestry weaving. I dropped out of art school, I was an art major, and I became a tapestry weaver in the late seventies in Jerusalem and there was this studio and for two years I worked there. Learning this complex skill of weaving very fine tapestries, large mural size pieces with a weaving partner next to me and it's a whole culture that opened up a door to a whole art aesthetic and field of art that wasn’t very much known, but those days are kind of over today they don’t support these kinds of industries so much anymore. When I came to the U.S. later, it became my main career for a while with my ex-husband. We produced tapestries and we basically became tapestry artists. We wove tapestries that my Mother designed, that we designed, and that became my sort of strong hold for feeling grounded and having something to do if all else fails. But it didn’t really support me financially so I had to gain a career and support myself. So I finished two degrees, one in art education and one at the masters school of education at UMass and I became an ESL teacher. And I was a Hebrew teacher, and gave art workshops, for papercutting and tapestry weaving. So I developed a career as a teacher, and now that I am not doing that as much, I would like to be known as one who contributed to my community both in educational ways and as a volunteer. And now lately, that I have more opportunities to exhibit my work and my Mother’s work, and give talks about it, and in fact, right now this month, in May there is a show at Michaelson gallery, Northampton called “Generations” and my work, my tapestry work, is alongside my Mother’s papercuts. One of them is the largest and most complex mural tapestry that I have woven that my Mother designed called, “Yizkor Holocaust Memorial Tapestry”. Yizkor means remembrance, that’s the prayer said over the dead and over the victims of the Holocaust. On my website there is also a description of what this tapestry is about. This one is the major work that took many years for me to complete with all the interruptions in my life. And it’s sort of a memorial piece that symbolizes the life of Jews in Europe before the destruction by the Nazis, with a lot of Jewish symbols that my Mother incorporated in her papercuts and it includes my personal memorials of my own family members, including my brother who passed away early on when he was only 38, and my two parents, and there is a homage to 9/11 by the letters W.T.C., World Trade Center, on the top border. It’s all part of the memorial tapestry and the events that happened over the many years that this tapestry was on the loom that enabled me to commemorate my personal memorials beyond the memorial for the life of Jews in Europe, which was my Mothers intention in the design. Those are some main anecdotes in my life, I think, and who else knows what awaits me.

< Back Emma's Story Interviewed by Linda, Emma discusses the different types of families she grew up with. She reflects on the family she gained throughout her childhood, while also delving into some of the hardships she faced. Emma explains how her family circumstances have truly shaped the person she is today. 00:00 / 04:22 Previous Next

< Back Elaine's Story 00:00 / 06:18 I'm gonna be 80 this year. I always say God willing, because who knows? And when I was younger, I just assumed I would just keep getting older. So, when all those life experiences happen, I had to say to myself, what does that mean? You know? And my middle sister and I and my oldest sister used to talk about, well, my mother died young. I wonder who will be next. And then when Barbara died, it was like, okay. I guess I'm off the hook. And then, oh my goodness, I got older and older, and I made 47, and I made 49, and I made 51. And it dawned on me that I really didn't have a road map for assuming I would age because nobody in my family had, especially the women. And so, as I began to get a little bit older and not take it for granted, but also say, okay. I am alive, and I want to make the most of it. I looked around for what I call mentors or role models. And I have about 4 of them that I want to talk to about today, and I'll just jump off with the first one. I'm married at 21, and my husband was 31. And I was lucky enough to have a fantastic mother-in-law. Her name was Doris. And Doris was a very lively, fun, very caring human being, and great wonderful mother-in-law and grandmother. And one of the things that I learned from her as I watched her age is how to approach getting old. And several things I learned from her was, 1, she said you need to constantly make friends all the time and make new friends because people go away, people die, and you always sort of want to replenish. So, you know, doing this project is another way to replenish friends and people who are younger because, hopefully, they'll be around for a while. And also, after her husband, my father-in-law passed away, I watched what she did with her life. And what I observed was she really decided to live life and to sort of figure out how to be a widow and how to enjoy life. And so, she had almost 20 years of learning how to live independently and was an amazing role model. My next one is a woman named Mary Merriam, who is a woman I met through a quilting group. They were doing traditional old fashioned hand quilting. What I what I saw with her is, first of all, she was incredibly kind, and so that's a wonderful thing to see in people. And having read the book on loneliness, he talks about the impute importance of community. And joining her group, it was a group of about a dozen women, and it was met on a morning, Tuesday morning in the city in the town hall in Conway. And we just sat around and did hand quilting, which is very quiet, very peaceful. And, she was very encouraging, and we probably met for almost 10 years before the book broke up. But what I learned from Mary was, she took care of her husband. He had a stroke, and she was so loving and so kind and made a point of still getting to the quilt group. But she had to balance that new role that she had. And so, watching that experience was very moving. And then the next person within the group was the 99 year old woman, and her name was Dot. And Dot was another wonderful, wonderful example of how to age. And she was a skinny little thing, I think maybe a little bit taller than me, but very slight. And she was carrying this big queen-size quilt. And I went to the door to help her open the door, and I said, let me carry that for you. And her response was, don't baby me. So, I thought that was absolutely wonderful. And, again, that spirit, that feistiness that says, nobody's gonna just I'm not a shriveled up little old lady. She used to talk about what a blessed life she lived. And at some point, I talked to Mary about her, and it turned out her father died in his fifties. Her own husband had died roughly around the same age, and she still had the courage to say, I'm blessed. And then the last person, her name is Ruth. And Ruth lived to 94, just recently passed away. And I knew her through the Mount Holyoke community. But the thing that Ruth taught me was as she aged, she had a lot of problems, health problems, and would be in and out of the hospital. And last year, when she came home, they had her on oxygen, and she had this long tube that went on forever. And when I visited her, she was so feisty. She's like, wow. I'm not gonna carry this damn thing around forever. And she said, I am gonna get rid of this and get off of oxygen and be done with this. And she actually did. And I think, you know, some people might have just resigned themselves, sat in a chair, and say, oh, poor me, and just kind of let fade out. There was nothing that was gonna fade out on her. I mean, at 94, she did eventually die, but spirit, her fight, her willingness to say, alright. That's what's happening today, but that's not gonna necessarily be what's happening tomorrow. So, I think that I feel so fortunate to have learned from all of these four examples that I'm giving you, and there's plenty more I could do on. But how to approach life, not make certain assumptions, not stereotype yourself into certain behavior Previous Next

< Back Grazy's Story Grazy discusses how her family's immigration to the United States impacted her upbringing and her values and experiences in the U.S. 00:00 / 05:10 “I wanted to start my story off with my Dad immigrating from Brazil to the United States. He did this in 1989. At first he came to the U.S. to send money back to my mom and my sister that were back in Brazil, and he was just here working, and he thought he might as well just immigrate our family over to the States. They came over in 99’ and that’s when I was born too in the U.S. I think their experience of being immigrants here was definitely one that had an impact on me growing up. I think that they had a lot of troubles with just being in a new place in general. I think moving, period, is hard, I can’t imagine having to move from one country to another where it’s hard to get used to new people around you, new surroundings. Growing up I always had that in the back of my mind of the sacrifices my parents made to come over here and just their story of pushing forward just to better my future, my sister future, my brothers future by being here. I think their pushing through in this country definitely motivated me, I feel like it adds pressure for you to feel like you always have to succeed, you always feel like you have to do good, you always have to hit different milestones and always work your way up and I would always feel pressure, not because my parents would necessarily put it on me but, I would always think back to them sacrificing their whole life to come to the U.S., and the U.S. is seen as like the land of opportunity, there’s this overall message of if you immigrated to the U.S. you are lucky, you are allowed in the borders. I think today it is definitely a lot harder to immigrate here than when my parents did it, but I think that there’s this message of immigrants are sort of second class citizens almost, because goes Americans just have a leg over everyone. I think being born here, I just thought “Oh ok I have to succeed, I have to make my parents trip here worthwhile.” and it was a lot of pressure growing up and it felt, it felt like I was never reaching that finish line of “Ok I made it.” It was always something else, and I feel like growing up now I can look back and say that all that I have accomplished, it was the best I could do at that time and, my parents were always proud of me and whatever I did, every milestone I hit, every little award that I got, I knew my parents knew that I pushed myself. Especially with them seeing me struggle in school, every grade I got I know they knew it was my best. But it’s hard to feel like youre never enough and, if anything, growing up here made me appreciate things more. I feel like one of the gifts they’ve given me is empathizing with others and having more sympathy for others. I think it’s something that of course if you’re not from a family of people that immigrated, of course you can feel for others, you sort of, view immigration issues differently, you see how the countries government works differently in a way, I just feel like you view people differently. I would never think of someone as an alien to this country, and so many people are so ok with saying that term in referring to people and their stories that way. The majority of my dad’s life has been spent in the U.S., and for someone to look at him and think “Oh he doesn’t belong here”, he’s contributed so much, and everyone contributes so much with what they bring culturally to the U.S. when they are from outside of the U.S., like so much of our food is from different cultures and the U.S., I think we wouldn’t be what we are today without these people.” Previous Next

< Back Diane's Story Diane talks about how her goals and ambitions are constantly changing throughout our lives. Diane and Victoria discuss how they have changed throughout lives, and what has remained constant. The common thread for both women is their strong mothers. 00:00 / 06:01 There were eight of us in the household and I was child number seven out of eight. So I would describe myself as kind of the weirdo, you know my older sisters were very responsible and my younger sister was the beautiful baby right so, I was sort of the I mean not in I don't think this in a bad way, I just think that it was just sort of like I had the opportunity to sort of I didn't have a lot of responsibility and I didn't have to be the baby which also is a sort of responsibility. So yeah I got I got to be a little loose as a child, and I was you know, I colored a lot and collected leaves and things like that. When I was young, I wanted to be with lots of people all the time and I wanted to make food and have fun. I didn't know how to turn that into a money-making career, I just wanted to be with people very social as a little person but, that changed a little bit when I became a teenager. I became far less interested in being social in being with my family even. I withdrew a little bit. I sort of indulged in the quirkiness a little bit more and then then maybe was healthy for me my family was still there even though I kind of took a wander but, I it was at that point I did start thinking about careers and things like that and like could I be a social worker or could I be someone who listened? Because I am a bit of a talker, still. I am chatty, let’s just face it. I’m a Chatty Cathy but I wanted to learn how to be a listener and maybe take some of that into work that was helpful work to individual you know. I was never really very interested in making money I think I wanted to make a difference. You know the other thing that we spoke about once was that tape measure principle of like if you pull out each inch and you know at 10 everything that you've done by 10 inches and then 20 inches, what have you done and I'm like okay here I am at 60 inches, so far from you know that 6 year old self who was collecting leaves, and how much more time do I have? Do I have another 10 years or 20 years and do the years make a difference? And I decided after our last conversation that I want my legacy to be that I went sort of day by day. I want it to be that I just took each day and I tried, I didn't try to be happy I don't I don't necessarily want to try for that I want that to be the end result of what I do, so I I think, like you, I'm I probably smile too much I might be insanely happy most of the time but, I think that you know I think for me it's really turning into the small differences. The kindnesses and the little bits that add up to what I hope will be you know a legacy of well she didn't she wasn't terrible you know I mean I think that would be enough for me and that’s all right. It is okay and I learned that from you and and our conversations because I see it in you as well. So often you said to me, it is one thing everyday. It is at least one thing everyday and I thought wow this is this is actually harder Victoria but it's much more fulfilling and I think it makes a greater impact then holding back or not doing because there's lots of opportunities for it and I appreciate that insight into your vision of the world cuz I'm trying to put it into my vision of the world. So I guess that would be my legacy. So I know one thread that we shared was was our mom's. I don't know if that's one that you were thinking of at this moment. It was with great joy that I was able to tell my mother that I was participating in this project and she was interested to know about it. Then she died at 99 years old and after a very good and rich and wonderful life and it really meant a lot to me to be able to share that with you. I'm getting a little choked up now but it was sort of like she was really she was always curious she always wanted to know what was around the corner or why did you do that or what are you eating today or any of those things. It was really a lot and I think that it was a big part of my healing process was talking with you and you were very patient and listening to every single story but it was a big thing for me to be able to also maybe think and talking with you and some of the questions and the places we went it was like okay so maybe a part of my legacy is continue Dorising and to share with other people like you. What Doris was, what she did and how like she was kind, you know like your mom and we shared that. That’s part of the good thing, we can talk about anything, you and I. it's not necessarily a passing of a torch okay but it was a little bit of you gave me the like “you can do this Diane you can take this on” and I really appreciated that cuz I think I was feeling sort of bereft and alone and I wasn't and you showed me that. We Dorised together though. We turned her into a verb and we did it and I hope someday to get to tell your mom what you've been in my life. Previous Next

< Back Rachel's Story Rachel discusses feeling like she didn’t belong in her hometown community or as she transitioned to college.She talks about her social anxiety and reflects on what it was like to break free from this. She wants people to pay attention to college students’ mental health. 00:00 / 05:31 Previous Next

Katherine talks about her family heritage and values and how that impacted her views on the world. She discusses how her upbringing and playing music with her siblings brings them closer together. Katherine also details how the values that she was raised with are still instilled in her and are instilled in her children as well. Katherine's Story Katherine talks about her family heritage and values and how that impacted her views on the world. She discusses how her upbringing and playing music with her siblings brings them closer together. Katherine also details how the values that she was raised with are still instilled in her and are instilled in her children as well. Scroll to listen Katherine's Story 00:00 / 04:28 My family of origin story comes from both my parents who told me the stories of how they grew up and their parents and grandparents. For my parents, their families were very important. Both of them came from English backgrounds and they were farmers. They raised cattle, they kept the sense of animals and planting even when we no longer lived on a farm, but it is important. That is part of my family theme and values is to be really connected to the land and animals. When we were growing up our values always had to do with good health, lots of exercise, and taking care of your pets before you took care of yourself. Who needed your support and help before you were doing your own thing? Values really had to do with honoring family and being totally transparent and honest about what was going on with you, being a good communicator that was kind of a core family value, and doing your best. I have 4 siblings, all about 2 years apart. It was very organized, our lives were very very organized, I guess you have to when you have a big family like that – my parents were both teachers so they expected us to have a certain routine to get up and make our beds, practice and do homework, we all had to keep track of what we were responsible for. We all played instruments, we all had to practice, my mom would start the egg timer for about an hour before we went to school, we had to practice our instruments. As we grew up and we left home, and we went to college and got jobs and got married and had our own children the relationship with all of them at the time have change over time. In that period, it was really important for our kids to know each other so that now as they are adults and they have families, they have cousins that they feel quite connected to which is kind of wonderful, we do a lot of sharing of our lives together. We all go to the same island in Maine in the summer, so 3 of my siblings built and also my family too we built our own little houses there, kind of near the log cabin so that more of us could be there at the same time. It’s a wonderful place for family gatherings and lunch picnics on the rocks, swimming in the quarries and biking around the island, lots of fun things we do together. I take my violin and my younger brother plays the cello, brings his cello, my sister is a singer, but she also plays the keyboard too. It's really fun to play together, we often say wouldn’t our mother be delighted because she's the one who made us practice, its paid off for her because we are still doing it. The basic values that I learned from them I think are still there, are still the core values, but we do keep connected, that’s important. We now passing on the cabin in Maine, the log cabin to our own children so that means the cousins will have to figure out how to work together to keep the boats in good shape and keep the cabins clean and enjoy that place with their children, with our grandchildren. It's kind of a multigenerational process in Maine and that’s where I keep connected to my sibling's. It has been fun as we met and talked to explore family a little but because that to me is the most important set of relationships certainly that I have and I think that most people have, my kids probably pass on the same values to their children too Things that they learned as they were growing up, they keep connected through each other, keeping connected and learning through each other is just really really important no matter what the ups and downs of one's life might be.

< Back Raluca's Story Raluca’s family immigrated to America when she was 6 years old. At first, she didn’t fully understand or appreciate her family background or Romanian culture. Most of all, she disliked her name and wanted nothing more but to change it one day. She grew up embarrassed about who she was–but after going back to her country for the first time again at 16 years old, everything changed. 00:00 / 04:23 I remember that when I was little my Grandma would tell me stories about this Greek princess named Rulu and how my name Raluca came from her. I was born in Romania and when I was 6 years old we came to the United States for a new and better life. In first grade in America, I noticed that no one could really pronounce my name correctly, everyone always seemed to ask me oh what kind of name is that? And it didn't take very long for me to become very sick and tired of hearing that question. My move to a new country brought many many changes, most of which I was too young to understand completely. Something I did realize however was I was really excited to come here and I remember my family was crying when we left, but I didn't understand why until I grew up a little bit more. I worked really hard to fit in because my biggest nightmare was just standing out in a crowd and I really tried to change myself to belong here. Whenever I met a new friend when I was growing up I would just tell them my name was something else and I would make up a name that was American because I wanted to pretend, just to see what it was like for a moment to be what I thought was normal. The thing that embarrassed me the most at the time was my parents and their accents. Especially my Dad, with his big thick Romanian accent, whenever we were in public I would sush them if they dared speak to me in Romanian or I would block my ears and I would say shhh. I remember just being so mad that they had accents, but I think that also comes with maturity at the time I just didn’t understand. Looking back I feel so awful now because of thinking like that just when I was little and I didnt know any better but now I look at that with admiration and respect and so much appreciation and I think that I would never get mad at them now for being talked down to because of their accents. I never understood at the time how much my parents sacrificed for us and how hard they had to work to give us this glamorous life that we were able to have. I went from being just so embarrassed about my name and my culture and my parents and not being American to having this admiration and respect for it all when I was 16 years old. 10 years after our move to America, we went back to Romania for the first time. The city I am from is called Yash, there are these beautiful flowers blooming all in the trees there called florile de tei. What amazed me the most about my country really was meeting the people there. I felt like I saw kindness like I haven't really seen in America and I felt love like I never felt and I just felt this sense of belonging that I didn't feel here. I just felt like I was torn away from my home and that this is where I really belonged and my parents took me away and I had no say in that so I started questioning you know why did we leave. I just realized that this America had a better life for me but at the same time I grew up without my family. I guess it just made me realize that these are the only people that truly matter and honestly if anyone ever judged me in this country that it didn't matter that much. Previous Next

< Back David H's Story David describes how his autodidact tendencies and lifelong “obsessions” with computers, photography, biking, and astrology have shaped his relationships and sense of connection to others. 00:00 / 04:54 Interviewer: What obsessions have really captivated you throughout the years? David: I think I purposely like to look at them as obsessions. I mean, passion is pretty much synonymous, not 100%. But I like to look at them as obsessions because it gets people's attention. One obsession is personal computers, which I became fascinated by in 1982. And my means of obsession has always been as an autodidact, which just means self taught. auto, didact, teach. So that's what I do, I delve into learning. My passion with computers led me to leave my job and book publishing to work at a computer store. And working in the computer store was one reason why when a computer magazine was hiring, they hired me. It was just a question of following something that fascinated me. It's just a deep fascination. Interviewer: Other fascinations that you've talked about include photography. David: My father took photographs all the time. Maybe that even amplified my desire to be like him in some way. We had like boxes of photographs that my father took or other family members took. I just loved sitting down looking at all these photographs of the past, of relatives or situations. So a combination of just the objects themselves, the photographs being something that drew me in that history, that story, it was just stories being told and the fact that this was an influence, or interest I should say, of my father, who I admired. One of the things I've always loved about computing is you can try stuff without breaking anything. I always make a copy of a file if it's important and then work on the duplicate. Because you can always cover your ass, and therefore then you can experiment. And that experimenting is a form of freedom, and that, that attracts me. Interviewer: One other obsession that you talk about very fondly is biking. David: It's funny, to a degree it goes back to my father who, I just have all these memories of him, you know, doing various things with hand tools in our garage and, you know, helping me with my bike and bikes. Even by the time I was like 12, 11, 12, I had about 3, 4 bikes. Learning how to put it together. And some of the learning is feedback. When you're an autodidact, when you're self taught, you need some kind of feedback, otherwise, how are you learning? Now with these machines like cameras or computers, the feedback is built in. If it works, it's done right. If it doesn't, try to figure out why. Same thing with bicycles, although the breakage isn't protected. You also learn from experience, for example, my hand knows how tight to make something, a bolt. All my obsessions, behind them is a pleasure in learning, but a pleasure in learning outside of school. From the late 90s through 2007, I was a leader of the New York Bike Club for 10 weeks. Each year, we had, you know, 15 people and we would teach them bicycle skills. Here I mention that another obsession I've had is astrology. I got involved with astrology my sophomore year of college because I ended a relationship with my first real girlfriend. Things weren't good, and I was trying to figure out relationships. Astrology is actually a form of psychology. It's a tool for looking at the psyche. And so I became obsessed, because I was in a not good place and I wanted to figure out more. Take a few years more into the future, that was like 1969 or so. I go to a friend's house, uh, where he's having a party and he invites somebody I don't know. And that somebody I don't know brings his girlfriend who becomes my first wife. Later on, I’m talking with her and she said something about where she's lived. And I said something to her, oh, an astrologer would say something about that. And she said, oh, I'm an astrologer too.That's how Judy and I, we spent the rest of the evening describing each other to each other in astrological terms, which is almost like a language. Through astrology, was a large part of my connecting with somebody who is a soulmate. Interviewer: Are there other ways in which your obsessions have connected you to others? David: Well, here I mentioned the computing leading me to be a computer magazine editor. And there's something about a group getting together each month to put out a magazine. The group part is really important to me, working with others. If it can help me connect more with myself, it helps me connect with others. And realize that behind this thing I'm labeling as obsession is curiosity. I have a very deep curiosity. Things I love, like I mentioned bicycling or photography, I learned even more, but that's because my emotional state about it is stronger. Other things, curiosity helps me from feeling depressed. These obsessions and thoughts combined lead me to actual connections with others, and lead me to greater knowledge. Previous Next

Jonathan Daube (Northampton, MA) speaks with Selena DeCosta (Easton/Amherst, MA) about his time spent teaching in Malawi and how it shaped his view of the world for the rest of his life. Jonathan's Story Jonathan Daube (Northampton, MA) speaks with Selena DeCosta (Easton/Amherst, MA) about his time spent teaching in Malawi and how it shaped his view of the world for the rest of his life. Scroll to listen Jonathan's Story 00:00 / 02:34 I spent two years in Malawi. I think for me it was more valuable than graduate school. I learned an enormous amount. About the world, about myself, and when we got back, it was 1970. This country, the United States, was in considerable turmoil. And I found that my experience in Malawi helped me in ways I wasn’t even aware of. Helped me work with all kinds of students, especially African american. Because for two years I had been, my bosses had been, african american, well not american, african. It just came naturally to me to work with people of very different backgrounds. That was extraordinarily, extraordinarily helpful. So that's, that's how we got there and we went with one child and came back with two. Our daughter, the middle child, was born there. Do you look at the world differently now than you did at that age? I think I do. I understood, perhaps still understand, what real poverty is like. Beyond anything you could see, well I could see, in this country. I understood, and understand now, now that I am much older, what it is like to be in a situation where there just aren’t medical services the way we are accustomed to them. A town like Northampton with a population of about 30,000 would have in Malawi, would have less than one doctor for the whole town. So there would be all kinds of people who would have no access to medical help at all. I am more comfortable in situations that I have never been in before. I would now say, and I say it to my own children, that to be fully educated and you know somewhat understand the world we live in, you have to spend some time, and I don’t mean just a week or two, you have to spend some time in a different culture. Now the different culture could be a very different kind of family or set up down the road, it doesn’t have to be overseas, but normally it would be.

< Back Owen's Story, 2022 Owen discusses how he went to college during the Vietnam War and what he learned from not only the education and the professors but also the people he attended the university with. 00:00 / 03:11 When I was 19, approximately, there was something going on called the Vietnam War and you probably studied it in ancient history or something like that, but for those of us who didn't really want to get out there and get shot at we had to find ways to not do that. And we also didn’t believe that war was necessary. So I was a part of a group of people, there were many many of us, who said no this was not a good idea, and the only way I could stay out was to go to college. So I went to college. Another thing that was big in my life is when I went into college was meeting different people from different parts of the world and more so different parts of the country but I did meet a few people from outside the US. And some people have big influences on you, some people have small influences on you and some people you just dont understand. Part of the not understanding is you just have to learn to accept people as they are. I would say the majority of kids that I was in classes with were white from middle class suburban cities around, middle class suburbs from large cities around the country. I went to school in St. Louis and I came from a suburb around Washington DC. There were so many people from so many other places that were similar to me, then I got to meet people who were different to me. I remember, one young woman came from Hawaii and she was native Hawaiian and that was cool. I had never met anyone from Hawaii before. One day it snowed, and she ran outside and she went absolutely berzerc running in between the snowflakes because she had read about it, seen it in movies, but she had never experienced snow before. And I thought, “Okay, this is cool.” You know, just trying to understand someone's frame of mind, especially when you grow up with snow. You know its like what's this snow. And this is like a life changing event for her. And I thought Okay, that’s cool. It is to be able to do that and not to judge someone based on things like that. And I grew up in a society where alot of people were not accepted as they were. Alot of minorities were looked down upon and legally discriminated against. You know that sort of has gone away but not entirely. There was no such thing as people who were openly gay, that just didn’t happen during that period of time. People did not date interracially. You know you never saw a white woman with ablack guy. It just didnt happen. So when you start meeting people that are different and meeting people that are a little outside your realm of experience you learn about them and learn to accept them. That was a huge thing for me. To transition from living with stereotypes which are reinforced by things like TV shows to getting to know people and understanding who the people were. And understanding a person as a person, not just put into a category- a stereotype. Part of going to school was that piece of education. Previous Next