Search Results

Susan Martins (77) talks with a friend, Catherine Grella (21) about her travels to Italy and Israel in her early 20s, which she considers the highlight of her entire life. Susan's Story Susan Martins (77) talks with a friend, Catherine Grella (21) about her travels to Italy and Israel in her early 20s, which she considers the highlight of her entire life. Scroll to listen Susan's Story 00:00 / 03:08 Well, I'd always wanted to travel and I always wanted to go to Italy, and I had $2,000, but this was in 1969, and $2,000 went a lot farther in those days. And I found a little pencion which was in a perfect location. It was a block from the Arno, but it was in a very great place. It was like the best place to be in Florence, and I just explored Florence while I was there. I had never really thought about going to Israel because while I was born Jewish, I really didn't know anything about Israel except while I was living there. I read a book by Bruno Bettelheim, a psychologist, and it was about the Kabutz system in Israel, and I found it fascinating. And I felt like I wanted to go there. And in about January, I guess, I went to Israel. This was weird. It was the middle of the night when the plane landed in the airport in Tel Aviv, and I was sitting there waiting because the shuttle buses didn't go in to tell of the evening till six or seven in the morning. So I was just sitting, waiting. This plane came in and this bunch of people got off the plane and they started bending down and kissing the street. And then they came into the airport. They couldn't believe that they were there, and they were kissing the floor in the airport. And it turned out that they were Polish Jews who had survived the Holocaust. They were immigrating to Israel and they'd never been there before. And they walked in and to them it was coming home. At that time, I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I wanted to go to a Kabutz. And there's an office in Tel Aviv that sends volunteers from all over the world to volunteer on a Kabutz. And you work in the fields, or I worked in the laundry, ironing pants for months, but I also worked in the grapefruit fields, and I worked pruning plum trees at one point, and one point they assigned me this Kabutz, had a fruit stand on the road that the Kabutz was up the hill from. They put me there to work because a lot of tourists spoke English. Somebody said, are you Israeli? And I said, no, I'm American. And they said, you look as if you were born here. You look just like an Israeli, and it's wonderful to meet you. And I felt like I had come home, and I felt as if it was my country. That was the weird thing that I had never thought about Israel. I didn't really feel like a Jewish person, but I felt as if that was where I was from and it was really power.

< Back Sanjana's Story Sanjana discusses her relationship with her mother and how it has changed over time. She talks about her upbringing in an immigrant family, and how understanding those circumstances helped her understand her mother’s lived experiences, bringing them infinitely closer. 00:00 / 04:23 When I was a kid or, honestly, even farther back when my parents first got married, it was very, very traditional, very a very traditional sort of Indian people marriage. It was arranged. They didn't really know each other until they met for the first time, which was when they got engaged. My mom was twenty one. This was right before her 20 birthday, and I turned 22 recently. And so, we had this very interesting conversation. And so, she followed my dad's lead. And and a lot of people in my dad's family, she followed their lead because that was sort of the expectation that was had over there. And one thing to note about my dad's family is my dad is in a completely different generation from the rest of his siblings, and his siblings are a lot more socially conservative. They have different values than he does. And so, me pursuing medicine, for example, was something that my dad was all in about, and he's so excited about it. But his siblings are like, oh, but she's gonna be so old. When she gets out of school, like, when she gonna get married, when she, like, gonna have a family, like, my mother kinda had to go along with that when she herself had been raised in an extremely feminist household. And so, it was a culture shock for her, but she also felt that, you know, because of the social structures that surrounded her, she had to keep the peace. And so, when I was a kid, I was very rebellious, and I was very like, I I did not I always questioned a rule whenever it was placed before the end. So, my mom, because she enforced the rules that I didn't like, I often, you know, almost villainized her for a little bit. And I never really understood the dynamics of an immigrant family that's trying to like, it and it's not even like my dad espoused half of these values. It's just he wanted to keep the peace within his family too. And so, I never liked the fact that she did that, and that was always something that I thought was absurd. I was like, you don't even believe this. Why are you why are you enforcing it? Why are you making me do it? And that's the same thing with, like, education, and I'm always someone who believes that there should be a balance between fun and education. And for her, you know, as an immigrant, it's you know, your education is your only pathway to life in a country that's new. And so, you know, long story short, she always enforced things that I never believed in. It was something that I I you know, we fought about it, like, every day, so we were not close. Like, there were there are things in my life. Like, my first boyfriend, she did not know existed. And I'm looking back on it now. It would have been such a fun thing to talk to her about. It would have been such a great thing to talk to her about. And when it ended, it would have been so great to have her there, but I just didn't see her as someone who would support me back then. And then COVID happened, and we had to spend a lot more time together where I was sort of growing into an adult. I was growing into someone who started to make her own decisions based on, you know, what she believed in. And so, I, you know, sort of grew into my own a little bit, and I also got to see her as someone who's also living life for the first time. As I started to make, you know, my first set of, like, big mistakes, I realized that she, at, like, like, very close to the age I am now, moved to a completely different country and had almost no lifeline and was forced to sort of keep the peace and have that responsibility shouldered that that she did not need to have. But she was because of just the way that that Indian society worked back then. And Indian society followed her, like, all the way back all the way to The United States, and it it still follows her. And I also learned about what she believes in. I realized that she grew up in an extremely feminist household that, like, my grandmother left an abusive marriage and raised, like, kids all by herself. Her cousins were raised by a single mother. And so, a lot of that was very empowering my and so I began to appreciate her and the, you know, the behind the scenes work that she did for our family a lot more as I got to know her, and I started talking to her a lot more. And I realized we're way more similar than most people think. Before then, it would just be like, oh, you look like your mom. And I'd be like, I am nothing like my mom. But now when people say I'm like my mom, it is, like, the greatest compliment that I could ever receive because she is, like, the strongest, most steadfast human being I've ever known. She's been, like, the most unexpected lifeline for me. Really, really grown to appreciate the person that, you know, that she is, and that makes me just want to know her a lot more Previous Next

< Back Jonathan's Story, 2024 00:00 / 01:04 Previous Next

< Back Ivana's Story Ivana shares a vulnerable story about her battle with anxiety and depression as a young adult in high school. She talks about how her experiences have influenced who she is today and memorializes this struggle with a tattoo on her back. 00:00 / 04:12 There is a saying, I'm not sure if you've come across it, where when it goes: “Trauma builds character”. And I definitely feel like that is something that is very true for me and how I've been able to see the world differently. There were a lot of traumatic things that I was exposed to at a young age and then also experienced myself. And I feel like the culmination of all of that led to a very, very dark point that started in high school, my junior year. That was when I first realized what anxiety was and what depression was because the symptoms were actually starting to appear within myself. And it took a lot of solitude and because… When I was going through a lot of that stuff in high school, I felt like I couldn't have any, or I didn't have anybody that I could turn to. And for a while, I wholeheartedly owed my existence for me still being here to my sister, honestly, because during that same period where I felt like I couldn't rely on my parents or couldn't rely on my friends and stuff and I kind of in turn only relied on myself. My sister, I didn't even ask her to help me - she kind of just saw and she offered her help. And I feel like that was the first person that really like listened to me, tried to really find resources to get me in treatment and stuff. My sister also has like a very mature mentality as well. So I feel like there's conversations that I was able to have - that she would be able to contribute to in a way that a lot of other people couldn't. And I think it got to a point of me realizing that a lot of what I was feeling was consequences of certain habits that I was either doing or certain habits that I had in terms of my mindset and stuff. So I went through a very transitional period of trying to really fix my mind and instead of have it be an enemy, turn it into my friend. And now that I think about it, I feel like this habit was something that was kind of enforced in me because I wasn't an athlete for so long. Like we would have to go back, for example, on my basketball team, we would have certain days where we would go watch films from my previous games and stuff like that. And at that point, you're literally going through past mistakes that you made, your coach is telling you what you did wrong, and here's how to fix it for the next time. And I feel like it could be as simple as that for situations. And I feel like that is my intention of wanting to share my story. One, I never thought that life would be like this. There was a good year/two-year period where I thought by the time I was 18, that would have been the end of my life. I'm very blessed every single day to be living the life that I do and to have the opportunity to experience life in the way that I do. I feel like I would not have been able to want to have this for everybody in life until I was able to learn a lot of things through solitude and go through those hard times to become more empathetic and become more emotionally understanding and being able to be more gracious to people and stuff. I do have a tattoo on my back that says, no rain, no flowers. And that is a tattoo that I live by because especially from that hard period of time, I'm able to experience true beauty now. And you cannot experience the beauty of flowers without having a little rain. Previous Next

< Back Hengie's Story Hengie expresses the hardships her and her family faced growing up in Haiti and how her mother was a pillar to the close bond that her, her brother, and mother currently share. While battling the difficulties of growing up apart, Hengie describes her wishes for her family and their journey back to each other, establishing a strong foundation built on resilience, love, and unwavering determination, ultimately leading them back to the embrace of a cherished home. 00:00 / 04:27 When I think of who I am today, though, there are specific people that come to mind. I've always considered my mom and my brother to be my rock, and I refer to them as that for multiple reasons. I have few recollections of how, like, my family dynamic was before the earthquake in Haiti. I can probably tell you it was, like, your typical nuclear household that you would expect, like, a middle-class family from Haiti to be. But as a family unit, like, we've we were tested early on. The earthquake impacted us in different ways and just that was really, like, the day the world changed for us. And the loss of my father just caused a lot of uncertainty and just left so much uncertainty for a long time. And I can't even imagine how my brother and my mom, like, what was going through their minds at that time. For me, I was quite young, so, like, nothing really ever made sense to me. But they were much older, and I can imagine that it was equally a difficult time for them. But it wasn't until years later where I was able to reflect and kinda define what that time meant for me. And I realized that I have to applaud my mom for a lot of things. Not once did I ever question her love or support for us during that time. My mom worked and fought for my brother and I to leave Haiti as soon as possible just because it was so unsafe. The country was in shambles, basically. And the focus was always us. It was always our safety, our future, even though at that time, I can't even imagine how much she was struggling. And she was mourning the loss of her husband, the loss of her sister. So, it was a lot for her at that time. Like, I can't applaud her strength, really. So, we left without her, and we did the journey to live with my aunt in Florida with a family friend. And we ended up living with my aunt for about two years. We saw our mom, like, every few months a few months or so. She wasn't here regularly. And from that, I would say sacrifice was one of the first lessons that my mom ever taught me. Even though at the time it wasn't a question that we were her priority, I don't think at least I don't didn't understand the gravity of the sacrifice that we were making at the time. She worked very hard to make sure that we, like, turned out okay. And I put that in finger quotes because do you ever really turn out okay from such a traumatic event? But I wouldn't change our family dynamic for anything. Of course, I still wish that, you know, my father was still here with us, and that's never going to change him passing. And grieving him and just grief in general is, like, a long and constant process, and it looks different for everyone. But I'd like to imagine that my father is proud of us. Proud of us for sticking together, for keeping our connection strong. I imagine he's proud of me for trying to make the most out of every opportunity, especially proud of my mom for getting us there, for loving us, and for staying strong. I hope she knows that I'm also really proud of her too. My mom, my brother, and I, we lost a lot of time together. A lot of years spent just connecting, like, through phone calls, a lot of money spent on flights, and distance was always, like, a member of our family. And it was hard having to grow up away from each other for so many years. I struggled with us living apart for so long. It made me feel lost. Like, I had no sense of what home really looked like. I didn't feel quite safe or welcomed anywhere. Home can be a lot of things, and I'm still in the process of figuring that out for myself. But my wish for my mom and my brother and for all of us really is to be able to find that place that allows us to be at ease and cherish that comforting feeling, to feel so at home somewhere. Previous Next

< Back Susan's Story Susan Martins (77) talks with a friend, Catherine Grella (21) about her travels to Italy and Israel in her early 20s, which she considers the highlight of her entire life. 00:00 / 03:08 Well, I'd always wanted to travel and I always wanted to go to Italy, and I had $2,000, but this was in 1969, and $2,000 went a lot farther in those days. And I found a little pencion which was in a perfect location. It was a block from the Arno, but it was in a very great place. It was like the best place to be in Florence, and I just explored Florence while I was there. I had never really thought about going to Israel because while I was born Jewish, I really didn't know anything about Israel except while I was living there. I read a book by Bruno Bettelheim, a psychologist, and it was about the Kabutz system in Israel, and I found it fascinating. And I felt like I wanted to go there. And in about January, I guess, I went to Israel. This was weird. It was the middle of the night when the plane landed in the airport in Tel Aviv, and I was sitting there waiting because the shuttle buses didn't go in to tell of the evening till six or seven in the morning. So I was just sitting, waiting. This plane came in and this bunch of people got off the plane and they started bending down and kissing the street. And then they came into the airport. They couldn't believe that they were there, and they were kissing the floor in the airport. And it turned out that they were Polish Jews who had survived the Holocaust. They were immigrating to Israel and they'd never been there before. And they walked in and to them it was coming home. At that time, I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I wanted to go to a Kabutz. And there's an office in Tel Aviv that sends volunteers from all over the world to volunteer on a Kabutz. And you work in the fields, or I worked in the laundry, ironing pants for months, but I also worked in the grapefruit fields, and I worked pruning plum trees at one point, and one point they assigned me this Kabutz, had a fruit stand on the road that the Kabutz was up the hill from. They put me there to work because a lot of tourists spoke English. Somebody said, are you Israeli? And I said, no, I'm American. And they said, you look as if you were born here. You look just like an Israeli, and it's wonderful to meet you. And I felt like I had come home, and I felt as if it was my country. That was the weird thing that I had never thought about Israel. I didn't really feel like a Jewish person, but I felt as if that was where I was from and it was really power. Previous Next

< Back Susy's Story, 2022 Susy talks about her want for a child and how it led her to her experience with international adoption in Peru as a single woman. She discussed the impact of negative cultural views on adoption and how it impacted her experience as a parent. She then discusses the importance of belonging and the need for people to share their stories. 00:00 / 04:52 Previous Next

< Back Selena's Story Selena speaks with Jonathan about what it’s like to be living with a family whose views are very different from your own during a global pandemic. 00:00 / 03:29 Previous Next

< Back Rachel's Story Rachel discusses feeling like she didn’t belong in her hometown community or as she transitioned to college.She talks about her social anxiety and reflects on what it was like to break free from this. She wants people to pay attention to college students’ mental health. 00:00 / 05:31 Previous Next

< Back Pat's Story Pat speaks about her journey in Little Falls, Minnesota. Here, she went on a profound healing journey and learned the power of forgiveness. While in Little Falls she met a special friend who showed her what she had been longing for. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 04:43 So this was a bit of my experience at Little Falls. Every day in the time I was there, there was profound healing experiences, there was all kinds of exercises some would say exercisims ya know where I went back and new relations to my parents wrote letters to them from me and to them umm and I felt like okay Ive done this already ya know I have gone through all the hell of my childhood. Was this really worth the airfare? Um well as it turns out it really was okay so after I wrote letters about my rage and hurt I wrote letters from them to me explaining why they were such a mess and why they were such awful parents and that was a killer I could begin to really understand how miserable their lives were the empathetic ya know writing these letters was very powerful at the end of it we had a big ceremony to burn all of the letters letting them go, watching the ashes rise float away which was providing us with a bit of healing and a chance of freedom I hope. So after breakfast, we got our coats on and we were asked to line up outside no explanation of why the sisters who lived there the residents came out and walked our line, handing each of us two red carnations cynicism was creeping into my mind our assignment this was so weird was to walk in a line all 30 of us in silence to a cemetery that was on the property and once we got to the gate of the cemetery we were to disperse and find graves that might have been those of our parents whether they were actually alive or dead we would lay down our carnations and say a final goodbye okay for some reason this struck me absolutely ridiculous, ludicrous and as I watched the 29 other walk into this vast catholic cemetery to find their parents quote on quote parents graves I refused to participate I was rebeling enough already Ill show they I just stand here after some time I have no idea how long I got bored standing there along and decided to walk in and wonder amid the graves I hadnt walked 100 feet when I looked down and what I saw in this catholic cemetery in this monastery were 2 grave stones side by side with Jewish stars this was too weird to be a coidindence so I stopped I knelt down for a closer look and something broke in me something big it was like flood gates opened as I started to do as I was told and say goodbye and complete my assignment I started to sob I mean serious unstoppable sobs like years and years of sobs and as the tears fell on my carnations I felt such deep sadness for them, my parents, for me for lost opprotunites for all those years I felt reallt sad my mother had died young at 60 well before I had developed any understanding of her pain and the lonliness that caused her bahvior and Id never be able to tell her I understood and was sorry for my contributions to that I never had a chance to tell her I really loved her I have no idea how long I stood there sobbing years and years when suddenly I felt this very gentle arm around my shoulder a gentle touch which brought me back and i looked up to see that tiny frail indian women in her street clothes who looked to me for support earlier that week holding me with a betivic smile on her face she gently helped me up and held me for a few moments she said shed been worried when she didnt see me back at the house and became worried for me And as she held me and she stroked my hair im crying just thinking about it and told me that she loved me and in that moment I experienced unconditional love for the first time and I understood that above all else thats what id been weeping for. Previous Next

< Back Raluca's Story Raluca’s family immigrated to America when she was 6 years old. At first, she didn’t fully understand or appreciate her family background or Romanian culture. Most of all, she disliked her name and wanted nothing more but to change it one day. She grew up embarrassed about who she was–but after going back to her country for the first time again at 16 years old, everything changed. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 04:23 I remember that when I was little my Grandma would tell me stories about this Greek princess named Rulu and how my name Raluca came from her. I was born in Romania and when I was 6 years old we came to the United States for a new and better life. In first grade in America, I noticed that no one could really pronounce my name correctly, everyone always seemed to ask me oh what kind of name is that? And it didn't take very long for me to become very sick and tired of hearing that question. My move to a new country brought many many changes, most of which I was too young to understand completely. Something I did realize however was I was really excited to come here and I remember my family was crying when we left, but I didn't understand why until I grew up a little bit more. I worked really hard to fit in because my biggest nightmare was just standing out in a crowd and I really tried to change myself to belong here. Whenever I met a new friend when I was growing up I would just tell them my name was something else and I would make up a name that was American because I wanted to pretend, just to see what it was like for a moment to be what I thought was normal. The thing that embarrassed me the most at the time was my parents and their accents. Especially my Dad, with his big thick Romanian accent, whenever we were in public I would sush them if they dared speak to me in Romanian or I would block my ears and I would say shhh. I remember just being so mad that they had accents, but I think that also comes with maturity at the time I just didn’t understand. Looking back I feel so awful now because of thinking like that just when I was little and I didnt know any better but now I look at that with admiration and respect and so much appreciation and I think that I would never get mad at them now for being talked down to because of their accents. I never understood at the time how much my parents sacrificed for us and how hard they had to work to give us this glamorous life that we were able to have. I went from being just so embarrassed about my name and my culture and my parents and not being American to having this admiration and respect for it all when I was 16 years old. 10 years after our move to America, we went back to Romania for the first time. The city I am from is called Yash, there are these beautiful flowers blooming all in the trees there called florile de tei. What amazed me the most about my country really was meeting the people there. I felt like I saw kindness like I haven't really seen in America and I felt love like I never felt and I just felt this sense of belonging that I didn't feel here. I just felt like I was torn away from my home and that this is where I really belonged and my parents took me away and I had no say in that so I started questioning you know why did we leave. I just realized that this America had a better life for me but at the same time I grew up without my family. I guess it just made me realize that these are the only people that truly matter and honestly if anyone ever judged me in this country that it didn't matter that much. Previous Next

< Back Kathleen's Story 00:00 / 04:16 Yeah. So, Sarah's my second child. And, and I feel like just to bring her into the world, when I was pregnant, I actually knew who she was. You know, I remember thinking if they say, oh, you have a little boy, I would have said, no. That's Sarah. She was named and all before she came. It's my grandmother's name. So, I knew her, and I expected her. So, she came out as Sarah, and she has been, just a little one who has been on her own. So, she had her own way of doing things. And she occasionally would look back at me, but she knew where she wanted to go all her life. She had a she had a path and she was easily stepping into new things. She was 16. She had a boyfriend. And of course, I wasn't really happy with him. He was a year older than her, and he was like this wild guy. And I thought, not for my sweet little one. I wasn't real supportive of that, but, and turns out, he is just the best person ever to be in our family. So, they ended up getting married. Sarah actually wore my mother's wedding dress. So, she continued with that tradition of a traditional wedding dress. At their at their wedding, they honored my parents. It was their fiftieth wedding anniversary. So, it was just, just such proud moments that she has created, and she created her wedding. I made, I crocheted this netting that went over an arch, and it had silk leaves on it because she wanted to be she loved being in the woods and the forest, and she wanted to have an autumn wedding, but she was married in April. So, this kind of gave that gesture of her being married in the forest. And that was just, yeah, just lovely to offer to her. And so, they got married and lived in the same town we did. She, yeah, she doesn't knock on my door very much saying, mom, this is what I'm doing, or she doesn't she has a lovely relationship with her husband. Yeah. She didn't come to me for problems or things like that. So, they decided they wanted to move away, and they went to all different places in the country. And it just didn't feel right. So, I knew about North Hampton, and I found this Airbnb, and I gave them this gift of coming up for the weekend to check it out, and they loved it. So, they moved up here and started their life. And after two years, I would come up and stay with them, you know, for the weekend. And that was so lovely to live with someone rather than just visit. So, to spend a little time with them and see their world. Yeah. And after two years, they said, why don't you and why don't you and dad come up? Just move up here. So, I'm a smart mama. And when my daughter asked me to go somewhere, I do it. So, we figured out how to do it. So, we came up. We moved up here and continued to, to do our work. And we came and they found a house and we're three blocks from them. And the wonderful thing about that is eventually, Sarah's forty four now, they eventually, had a little a little boy who is a foster boy that they, that they had at three months old, and then they adopted him. And so, we came into this as a family. So now I'm a granny, and the best thing about being a granny is she drops him off, and I get to see my daughter, and we get to chat. And then she picks him up, and we get to chat some more. But my real conversation comes from her husband who tells me every single thing that's going on Previous Next