Spring 2023 Stories Amira's Story Listen to Amira talk about her experience finding a home at UMass. In her story, Amira shares the struggles of connecting at UMass and how sitting in RSO room on campus started to become more than just a place to do work but somewhere she met people who have become her close friends. Listen Candace's Story Come listen to Candace’s story about her experience afinding her partner Gary and moving to Peru and living abroad. Through her story, Candace reflects on how living abroad allowed her to break free from her past and go on the adventure she had always wanted when she was little. Listen Carol's Story Carol talks about her experience traveling to Europe her junior year of college after realizing that she needs to go out of her comfort zone. With support from her friend and her parents, this trip changes her perspective on the kind of person she wants to strive to be, for her career but mostly for herself. The European mindset is what influences her to do things that make herself feel whole like slowing down her day with journaling and yoga. This trip has inspired her to travel for nursing and even ignite the courage to solo trip alone someday. Listen David's Story David talks about his experience with coming out during the 70s and 80s to his parents and how people’s perceptions of what it means to be gay was different then compared to today. He also talks about what it was like to finally be able to marry his partner Todd and what that meant to him. Listen Diane's Story Diane talks about how her goals and ambitions are constantly changing throughout our lives. Diane and Victoria discuss how they have changed throughout lives, and what has remained constant. The common thread for both women is their strong mothers. Listen Francesca's Story Follow Francesca as she shares her spiritual journey as a follower of Saint Francis of Assisi, inspiring her devotion to uplifting others around her while spreading love. Listen Freeman's Story Freeman remarks on his decision to retire and how retiring has allowed him to grow as a person and start new things after his career. He later elaborates on the ultimate goals and appreciations he has for his life and his message for others when considering the path of their own life: “think of the long ride, not the short journey.” Listen Gail's Story Listen Ivana's Story Ivana shares a vulnerable story about her battle with anxiety and depression as a young adult in high school. She talks about how her experiences have influenced who she is today and memorializes this struggle with a tattoo on her back. Listen Jake's Story Jake reflects on two similar scenarios he has encountered with bees and how that has made him realize the power of one’s own mindset when it comes to handling situations differently. He talks about how he keeps a positive mindset which has translated into looking at things in a more gratifying way and spreading positivity in other aspects of his life. Listen Janet's Story Janet gives voice to her late older brother Jay and recalls the significant impact he has had on her early life and professional career despite struggling in his adolescence and growing up in a time where it was unlawful to be self assured about your homosexuality. This is a story about love and loss but touching upon hope in freedom of self expression in culture today. Listen Joan's Story Listen to Joan as she talks about her Auntie Delly and the role her Aunt played in shaping Joan's life in the past and the present. Listen Jonathan Daube's Story Listen Jonathan's Story Jonathan shares his special connection with his family and how they have been a major influence in his life, from his brothers to his mom and dad. He touches upon his love for his parents supporting him through sports and making sure he was reaching his fullest potential growing up. With deep gratitude for his mother and everything she had overcome in her early life, he expresses the kind of person and a great appreciation of who she is. Listen Josh's Story Josh shares his dedication and identity to football at college and wanting to succeed in his athletic career, only to realize that it was taking him away from his academics. When Covid hit, which was brought with a year spent at home, he decided to change his focus from football towards his studies on Public Health. Leaving your past self may be hard, but it’s the sacrifice to limitless possibilities and realizing . Listen Kaela's Story Kaela expresses how running has been a fundamental part of her life since she was younger but has really unfolded for her as she was in high school and college to something she really loves to do. Over the years, her relationship with running and the community she has formed with it has grown into something that holds a special place for her to continue wherever she ends up in the future. Listen Kathleen Becker's Story Kathleen describes her path to becoming a speech pathologist. She describes her experience growing up with her younger sister Margaret Mary who was born with cerebral palsy. As a child she tried to find ways to help her sister learn to speak. Later, she took her first speech pathology course in college, and went on to work in a private practice and at an elementary school. Listen Kathleen Bowen's Story Kathleen talks about changes and how her perspective of age and learning has changed over time through her own experience with getting older. Listen Norma's Story Norma talks about how she found herself in the later stages of life identifying with something new- being an athlete. She talks about the skills she has acquired through this sport apply on the water and in her personal life as well. Listen to Norma’s journey to discovering one of her new passions of whitewater kayaking. Listen Olivia's Story Listen to hear Olivia share her experience taking a gap year after highschool and traveling overseas with a program called ARCC Gap Year. Listen Owen's Story Owen talks about his decision to go to college as a way to avoid the Vietnam War. He talks about how this experience exposed him to a whole new demographic of people and allowed him to see people for who they were as opposed to the stereotypes they had been socialized to believe. Education served as a bridge across cultures, creating the ability to connect with people of all backgrounds. Listen Rick's Story Rick talks about his parents and how they were his lighthouses growing up. Specifically, he focuses on how a moment with his father in the hospital has guided his view on the meaning of life. Listen Sunny's Story Sunny shares a story about how her relationship with the fine arts has developed and strengthened over the course of her life. She has a passion for art that follows her everywhere. Listen

< Back Jack's Story Jack reflects on his transition from high school to college and how this shaped his understanding of friendships, self-worth, and belonging. From not fitting into a rugby team and struggling to find genuine people around him, a wake-up call and a new friend led him to understand his self-worth, connect back with a true friend, and carry those lessons along with him, this time with good people around him. 00:00 / 05:30 Previous Next

< Back Ralph's Story, 2025 Ralph reflects on how his understanding of “home” evolved from a physical house to something much deeper and more expansive. While his house feels like home through safety, creativity, and memories, he realize that home is also found in meaningful human connections, whether on a subway, in a restaurant abroad, or within a close-knit community. Through these experiences, he came to see home as something he carry within himself, shaped by relationships, kindness, and shared moments. Ultimately, home is not a single place, but a feeling rooted in connection and belonging. 00:00 / 03:32 My first incarnation was to think about a house as a home. But then I realized that was only a small part of what home might be. So then I had to ask myself: what turns a house into a home? First thing I thought of was the obvious: where I feel safe from the elements, safe from physical harm, safe to express who I am, and safe to love and be loved. My house is my home, but why is it? I feel I have several hundred, if not thousands, of homes. Well, the house I live in, well, I'm an artist, oil painter, to be exact, with the studio in the house, where I struggle to express thoughts in paint and charcoal. That's the one thing that makes the house my home. It's also where I play, cooking, gardening, even cleaning. But those are the tangible elements. But what keeps me here, hopefully till I die, are all the memories:the good, the bad, the ugly. So this place isn't just a home, it's me. I feel at home on the New York City subways, which I don't know how many people can say that. But why do I say I feel at home there? Well, it's the people. My wife and I ride the subways all over the city. When we get on, it's usually pretty much standing room only. And that's when the magic happens. Someone will notice Mary Ann standing. Then they get up, indicate she should take their seat. They smile, she smiles. And that's if I can, I come over to them and thank them and mention that they're making it hard for me by setting such good examples. You know, at which point, they usually look me up and down and laugh, cause they know I'm right. It's strange because I was thinking about all the places I feel at home and really feel comfortable in strange ways. And there are an awful lot. We had been to Florence several times. Once we went to visit our daughter while she was studying Italian. We went to take her out to dinner to what turned out to be a very popular restaurant with the line going halfway down the block. Despite this, we decided to cross the street and just take a peek inside. We got halfway across the street when the individual taking reservations spotted us, more accurately, my daughter. He meets us in the middle of the street and announces to the waiting patrons, “For you, I have a table now.” We were ushered in and given the table overlooking the entire dining room; we never looked back at the waiting line. Then there's a small village in San Odell where I was taught the true meaning of family. I just live with what they taught me. That's all I can say because I'd have to go on for hours. Two or three days ago, I'm coming back from a walk and about to go down my driveway when I hear two of the children on the block yelling my name. Realizing it's a race between brother and sister, I hold out my arms to indicate the finishing line. The little brother won, big sister is a gem. Little brother leaves drawings in our mailbox and closes the lids on our garbage cans. They are so special. And if it's not obvious, the street is also my home So, Summer, as you may have guessed, you are now part of my home since it seems I actually carry my home around in my head. And I closed with, “Home is where the heart is. Who knew it was in my head all these years?” Previous Next

Freeman remarks on his decision to retire and how retiring has allowed him to grow as a person and start new things after his career. He later elaborates on the ultimate goals and appreciations he has for his life and his message for others when considering the path of their own life: “think of the long ride, not the short journey.” Freeman's Story Freeman remarks on his decision to retire and how retiring has allowed him to grow as a person and start new things after his career. He later elaborates on the ultimate goals and appreciations he has for his life and his message for others when considering the path of their own life: “think of the long ride, not the short journey.” Freeman's Story 00:00 / 04:39 I’ve been retired amazingly since 2013. It was really easy for me, I mean the part that was. First of all, I was really ready to retire. I turned 65. I was going to retire. Principal asked if I would stay another year just to help with transition. I was happy to do that. But I knew that I wanted to do other things. I loved what I was doing. I loved the students. Great way to end my career. But I was ready. I wanted to try other things because my father died at the age I am now. You know you never know how long you have. I was healthy and I wanted to take advantage of that. So fortunately as a teacher in a public school you have a pension. And that made it possible for me to retire. It was easy, and I had a long list of things that I wanted to do. So I started to study Yiddish. I started to teach myself guitar. I started playing chess. I started playing tennis indoors which I had never done before. And I was doing some consulting. So I was plenty busy and I joined the Northampton Arts Council, cause I wanted to contribute to the community in which I lived, not just the community which I had previously worked. And when I was looking at possibilities and things to volunteer for, I was looking at different committees and councils. I noticed that the head of the arts and culture department was a guy named Brian Foot and Brian Foot was a student that I had when I was teaching at Chestnut Middle School in Springfield in the 6th grade. And so that made it even more appealing to get to connect with Brian who was a wonderful young man in 6th grade and now has contributed a great deal to Northampton Arts Scene. It was good to be a part of that for a few years. I am still doing similar kinds of work because I joined an organization called Friends of Northampton Trails and part of the work that we are doing is to promote arts in the neighborhoods in Northampton so that feels good. Right now, I am the secretary, so one of the things I do is take minutes which in some ways is a good thing because taking minutes at least for me means I can’t talk as much so I have to listen better. So that always is a good thing to practice. What I am aware of is that this is a good time for me to spend more time listening. You know I think the most important thing is just being more attentive to what’s around me. Just having an awareness of my environment and not always being active but sometimes just being an observer, just appreciating, just being able to slow down instead of waking up at 5:45 and getting to work by 6:30 or just living more slowly. Looking at the news, playing chess puzzles, and then being able to just have the days evolve. You know that’s such a privilege to be able to do that. And really of all the things that upset me, the fact that I am aware that so many people don’t have this. And I have health, you know so. Being healthy. Having a loving partner. Having loving children who want to be involved in our lives. There’s not that much that I really need. You know I am one of the fortunate people, I mean its crazy that people who are not wealthy, like we are not wealthy, but I have, I had a pension. Its crazy that people don’t have that, and can live a reasonable life. I can’t do whatever I want. I can’t travel the world. I can’t buy anything I want, but I don’t need any of that. I’m fine. And life can be good. You know, I mean I think in times like this when the world seems to be spiraling in so many different crazy ways, its good to know that not everything is damaged. And that the most important thing is being able to expand the number of people who experience that. To live a good life, a quality of life where you are not just working. Life should not be just about work. I mean that’s not what we are here for to do. It’s about caring for each other you know and appreciating the diversity around you. And I am one of the lucky people who have been able to get to that point. And I hope that I can be able to continue it. For me the intention is, is good things ahead. Just take care of yourself. Think of the long ride, not the short journey. Previous Next

< Back Miriam's Story Miriam describes her experience studying the Hutterite community. She reflects on their sense of community and how it has been shown in her own life. 00:00 / 05:21 When I graduated from college, which is just where you are, I was able to know about and to actually, in that summer afterwards, go to study the Hutterites. The Hutterites and live communally. But what it means to live communally is that you're not really looking at what a lot of psychology looks at, which is sort of an individual lifespan, or tradition or whatever, of self, self, self. But these are people who live in a rural area, in a farming in the Midwest or in Canada, who came from east from Europe, decades go. This is a an agrarian farm thing. And these people learned from childhood there were a few people who moved into these communities but they've had plenty of children an average of 10 to 12 children, per family. Yeah. And I was amazed by how the world can be so different if you're living in a situation where you don't have money. Nobody has things. No, you don't own a house. This there's a car. But that's because the man who was in charge of the the farming things, he has to go to town and buy some equipment that can't be made, but the shoemaker lived there, and the people who made their clothes lived there. And there was a use of health care that people thought it was necessary. Nobody lived in individual house, nobody had their own fancy kitchens, everybody ate, breakfast, lunch, dinner together. Everybody went to school, but not outside, of course, they had their own teachers, they had their own churches, and they had their own process. Everybody went to church. Everybody wore the shoes that were made there. And everybody saw themselves as very much like the others. There were, there was a family or a couple who belong to the community, and they left. And that was a terrible thing for that community. Wow. Nobody ever left these communities. Right. Right. 2:49 Do you think it helped them in a way to have this really, really intense sense of community? Or did it almost become like a, like a total lack of individualism? 3:01 That's a very difficult question. Right. Right. I think that is the basic question. 3:07 In the United States, there's been sort of this push for, like, sort of extreme individualism, and it's sort of like, you rely on yourself, you get your toes, and that's, that's kinda like, where the line is drawn. We lost a sense of community in a lot of places, I think. So I wonder how we can find that happy medium, sort of where it's like, you still like feel like your own person, and you have this autonomy, but to still feel grounded in your community, you know what I mean? 3:34 In fact, have a probably 30/40 years ago now, there were villages where older people were able to sort of join together and support each other. Because they were they really want to live in a nursing home. There's nothing about a nursing home that is desirable. And they've started it here five years ago, called Northampton neighbors, but it was for older people who and that's how come I happen to be sitting here with you. 4:10 Yes, yeah, exactly. 4:13 Could join together in some ways, but have the kind of autonomy and world of their very special interests, and biases and skills and so forth. And it has worked. Right? Right has worked amazingly well. So anybody could call and say, Ah, is it possible that somebody could get me to the doctor, you know, supposed to snow on Wednesday, and there'll be somebody who would volunteer to take the person. Previous Next

< Back Elsa's Story Elsa reflects on the lasting impact of her grandfather, who was known for his kindness, empathy, and ability to make everyone feel truly seen and valued. Rather than specific memories, what stands out most is how he made people feel and how he carried that warmth into all his relationships. After his passing, Elsa grew to appreciate him even more through shared stories and the community he touched. Inspired by his legacy, she hopes to carry forward his spirit by creating that same sense of belonging and care for others. 00:00 / 04:08 My grandfather's name was Sumner Savadman, but we called him “Bipa”. He was always our Bipa. Um, he passed in October 2021 when I was a freshman in college. I don't remember specific stories about him, but I remember, like, how he made you feel, and how he made you feel like you were always, like, welcomed and always, like, he was so kind and genuinely, like, wanted to know how your day was. Like a lot of people ask, like, “Oh, like, you know, how's it going? How are you?” But he genuinely really wanted to know and would give you his full attention to, um, what you had to say in, in about your life. He, um, was very empathetic and caring. And even if it wasn't even just towards, like, his family, it was towards, like, everybody that he knew. He just made them feel like they were welcomed and wanted to, you know, get to know them. And he did this throughout his entire life. When my grandparents retired, they went on, like, a bunch travels and traveled around the world and everything like that. But they, like, met friends in every single place that they knew. They, um, would even, like, invite them, like, back, like, to the US. They were, like, in Australia, and they were talking with, like, their tour guide and some of their other friends, and they came and, like, visited them on Cape Cod down the Cape. He was always very calm and gentle, and just being, like, meet you where you were and, you know, figure out things with you and how he could help you in any way that he could. But, you know along those things, he also had his subtle dry humor. He would always, you know, never make fun of people. He never wanted to talk badly about people or never, you know, said an unkind thing about anyone, really. Um, he would always just have his subtle dry humor and brighten other people's days. Um, he's also a big coach. Another big thing about him was it the, was sports. He loves sports. From when I remember him best is I would, like, come up the stairs of, like, their loft, and he would just be sitting there with his goldfish next to him and, like, the big box of it, he's just sitting there eating and watching the Red Sox game or watching the Celtics or anything like that. He had a blanket for every single, like, Boston sports team, and we still have them to this day. I don't really remember the story exactly, but basically he was, like, really good at baseball, and he was asked to be on one of the major league teams, but he was like, “Uh, like sounds amazing, but I have to support my family and I'm gonna go, you know be this engineer over here in Ohio.” He always put his family first. He always wanted us to feel welcomed, but he truly cared about other people, too. He's one of a kind. I think there were so many, like, kind qualities about him. And when he passed, we had his Celebration of Life. It really brought the community people together, and everybody really shared how much love he had for other people and how much he really made them feel. It's not really about, you know the specific memories or specific things that he did. It was more, you know, the general feeling and appreciation that you had for other people. So I think, as I, you know, move forward in my life, I wanna do those same things and meet and, you know, make people feel like they have a space and they have, you know, a place. I never really, like, thought about, like, my relationship with him before that. It only wasn’t until after he passed that I really was like, “Oh, like, this was my grandfather.” I guess I never really thought much about it because I was like 18, and I was just doing my own thing, living my own life. And then it wasn't really until – I’m 22 now. And I've learned more things about him every single time that we talk about him. Every single time that we talk about him, it's a new story. It's a new feeling that he gave somebody. It's a new, you know, experience. I feel like even after he's passed, I've grown more close to him because I really cherished the person that he was. Previous Next

< Back Makeda's Story 00:00 / 04:53 Previous Next

< Back Olivia's Story Listen to hear Olivia share her experience taking a gap year after highschool and traveling overseas with a program called ARCC Gap Year. 00:00 / 03:18 I had the idea in my junior year of high school. I didn't know what I was interested in. I mean, for a lot of people, I felt like they knew that they wanted to go to college. And I had another idea that I didn't know was another path for me. And so I thought of taking a gap year and not continuing my education right after high school. I really wanted to go to Thailand. I feel like something just sparked it in me. Second semester of my gap year, I went in the beginning of the pandemic. So I went with a program called ARCC Gap Year, and I went with a group and yeah, it was an amazing experience. I do have a special needs sister that makes it kind of challenging to travel. So I never went on really extravagant. vacations. I've only kind of stuck around like the New England area when we travel as a family. And so I think this was a big step for me being away from my family for the first time. And I think it was like the first ever like brave act that I've ever done in my life, especially at like a young age, I think I was 19. You kind of like put a lot of trust in yourself when you're traveling too. And like, since I went with a group, relying on those people that you're traveling with. I did have challenges with health problems a little bit so being able to speak your needs to the group and making sure that you're well, and you're taken into account for. I think I always knew that I wanted to do something that helped people in a way. But I didn't know exactly how I wanted that to look for me. When I went overseas, it translated there too. When I was in a different culture, being with a group especially, I found my sense of community with them and being able to trust them too along this journey and we're all there for like the same situation and same experience too like making memories and experiencing a different culture. And like learning along the way, like learning about a different culture. Yeah, so I think that really translated to when I was overseas. And yeah, I'm really glad I took that initiative to take that leap of faith too, especially. And I mean, I got so much opinions on my, what I was gonna do after high school and especially going out of like the norm of like not going to college right after high school. I got a lot of criticism, especially from family members too, about it. But I knew like within myself that I was doing the best thing for me and that, you only live one life and I think that you should experience all the things you want to experience in this life because you'd never know when a pandemic is going to hit! Previous Next

< Back Kaela's Story Kaela expresses how running has been a fundamental part of her life since she was younger but has really unfolded for her as she was in high school and college to something she really loves to do. Over the years, her relationship with running and the community she has formed with it has grown into something that holds a special place for her to continue wherever she ends up in the future. 00:00 / 04:16 I would say when I was very very young, I was always like there's there's these track races they'd have every Wednesday night in my town and I would go from when I was like two or three years old and it would just be like a bunch of really little kids just running down like the straightaway of the track and at the end you get a ribbon. The only reason I liked to go was because there's an ice cream truck there and at the end you would get like a little popsicle from the ice cream truck and I'd get a nice green participation ribbon and I had like a hundred of them cuz I never was anywhere close to the front but, that was kind of like my first introduction to running. When I was very little I continued to do those races throughout elementary school but it was never something that I really saw myself doing, it was just like a fun activity. Then when I was in middle school I had a friend who was like bugging me she's like “you got to come out and try this cross country thing like I know you're really going to like it” and I was being very stubborn about it and I was like “god I just don't think it's for me like it's just not my thing” and eventually I was like “fine I'll go to like the introductory meeting with you” and I want and I was like I left the meeting and already I was like “yeah I'm definitely going to do this” and throughout 2 years in middle school, I did it because I actually really enjoyed running. I liked competing, I thought it was a lot of fun I liked just getting better. I just like I just loved the feeling of running. The feeling of like going after school and just getting to be active. So that was kind of my first introduction to it and then I think as I got older and in high school and college I've definitely it's gone from a “oh this is something I really like to do” to like “wow this is something I love and this is like a sport that I love in a community that I love.” So that my relationship with it has gradually increased and gotten stronger over time. When I am running and when I am healthy and I am very grateful for it. I feel very grateful that I am able to because I've know how many times that I that I haven't been able to do that so it really makes the times when I'm healthy a lot lot special a lot more special. I think that I've learned a lot of resilience and patience from running and not the things we want aren't necessarily going to come to us right away and that things don't necessarily change overnight and it takes a lot of of patience and like dedication and a lot of wanting wanting something to happen to be able to make it happen. I tell you about that and a lot about having a purpose and wanting to. One thing I love about running is I know it is a very much lifelong sport and that there are so many opportunities to continue it once I leave college and get a job. I was so inspired I am able to continue it for as long as I can and hope that wherever I live in the future I'm able to find a new community of Runners and a new running group. I know that they're everywhere. I'm really happy that it is something that I know is going to stick with me for life. For me, I think running definitely has a special place. There's something about just like being able to feel like you're flying over the pavement and it just feels very freeing to me and definitely a place where I can clear my mind. Previous Next

< Back Talia's Story Talia talks to Charlie about her experience of studying abroad in Florence, Italy. She speaks about how she chose Florence as her host city. She tells us how studying abroad in Florence changed her and furthered her desire to travel the world. 00:00 / 02:22 What makes you want to travel? Well, I have spent, I spent that last 6 months abroad and so that was really amazing. I got to go through school. I lived in Florence. And that was one of the the best experiences of my life I think and because of that I feel like I learned a lot about different cultures and I was able to learn a lot about myself as well and I reallized that the environment that I am living in and the people I am surrounded by really can make my life better and I think that a lot of people would feel the same way and so I think that traveling is something that will always be important to me in those aspects. What took you to Italy? So I originally was thinking of going to Greece and so I wanted to go somewhere that was warm, somewhere with beaches. I thought that would be amazing then I realized that I have my ancestry is all from Italy and so I thought that it would be really interesting to learn more about where I came from and the culture that I’m from and so that was really important to me. That was part of my decision. I also have heard of how beautiful Italy is and Florence that was and I knew that it was a smaller city it was something that could feel more homey than other cities I think. I think that was something I was looking for especially if I was going to be living there for an extended amount of time. I wanted somewhere that I felt comfortable with I also had my two roommates going with me and we all kind of decided that the food would be the best in Italy and that was something that we really wanted yeah just a bunch of different things led me to go there Previous Next

< Back Sanjana's Story Sanjana discusses her relationship with her mother and how it has changed over time. She talks about her upbringing in an immigrant family, and how understanding those circumstances helped her understand her mother’s lived experiences, bringing them infinitely closer. 00:00 / 04:23 When I was a kid or, honestly, even farther back when my parents first got married, it was very, very traditional, very a very traditional sort of Indian people marriage. It was arranged. They didn't really know each other until they met for the first time, which was when they got engaged. My mom was twenty one. This was right before her 20 birthday, and I turned 22 recently. And so, we had this very interesting conversation. And so, she followed my dad's lead. And and a lot of people in my dad's family, she followed their lead because that was sort of the expectation that was had over there. And one thing to note about my dad's family is my dad is in a completely different generation from the rest of his siblings, and his siblings are a lot more socially conservative. They have different values than he does. And so, me pursuing medicine, for example, was something that my dad was all in about, and he's so excited about it. But his siblings are like, oh, but she's gonna be so old. When she gets out of school, like, when she gonna get married, when she, like, gonna have a family, like, my mother kinda had to go along with that when she herself had been raised in an extremely feminist household. And so, it was a culture shock for her, but she also felt that, you know, because of the social structures that surrounded her, she had to keep the peace. And so, when I was a kid, I was very rebellious, and I was very like, I I did not I always questioned a rule whenever it was placed before the end. So, my mom, because she enforced the rules that I didn't like, I often, you know, almost villainized her for a little bit. And I never really understood the dynamics of an immigrant family that's trying to like, it and it's not even like my dad espoused half of these values. It's just he wanted to keep the peace within his family too. And so, I never liked the fact that she did that, and that was always something that I thought was absurd. I was like, you don't even believe this. Why are you why are you enforcing it? Why are you making me do it? And that's the same thing with, like, education, and I'm always someone who believes that there should be a balance between fun and education. And for her, you know, as an immigrant, it's you know, your education is your only pathway to life in a country that's new. And so, you know, long story short, she always enforced things that I never believed in. It was something that I I you know, we fought about it, like, every day, so we were not close. Like, there were there are things in my life. Like, my first boyfriend, she did not know existed. And I'm looking back on it now. It would have been such a fun thing to talk to her about. It would have been such a great thing to talk to her about. And when it ended, it would have been so great to have her there, but I just didn't see her as someone who would support me back then. And then COVID happened, and we had to spend a lot more time together where I was sort of growing into an adult. I was growing into someone who started to make her own decisions based on, you know, what she believed in. And so, I, you know, sort of grew into my own a little bit, and I also got to see her as someone who's also living life for the first time. As I started to make, you know, my first set of, like, big mistakes, I realized that she, at, like, like, very close to the age I am now, moved to a completely different country and had almost no lifeline and was forced to sort of keep the peace and have that responsibility shouldered that that she did not need to have. But she was because of just the way that that Indian society worked back then. And Indian society followed her, like, all the way back all the way to The United States, and it it still follows her. And I also learned about what she believes in. I realized that she grew up in an extremely feminist household that, like, my grandmother left an abusive marriage and raised, like, kids all by herself. Her cousins were raised by a single mother. And so, a lot of that was very empowering my and so I began to appreciate her and the, you know, the behind the scenes work that she did for our family a lot more as I got to know her, and I started talking to her a lot more. And I realized we're way more similar than most people think. Before then, it would just be like, oh, you look like your mom. And I'd be like, I am nothing like my mom. But now when people say I'm like my mom, it is, like, the greatest compliment that I could ever receive because she is, like, the strongest, most steadfast human being I've ever known. She's been, like, the most unexpected lifeline for me. Really, really grown to appreciate the person that, you know, that she is, and that makes me just want to know her a lot more Previous Next

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