Aidan talks with Barbara about his family heritage and shares the meaning of his tattoos and their connection to his family. Aidan's Story Aidan talks with Barbara about his family heritage and shares the meaning of his tattoos and their connection to his family. Scroll to listen Aidan's Story 00:00 / 05:00

< Back Ryann's Story, Spring 2025 Ryann shares how her early love for dance was overshadowed by a highly competitive studio environment where favoritism and pressure made her feel inadequate and disconnected from her passion. Over time, this experience diminished her confidence and enjoyment, leading her to step away from dance after high school. However, upon joining a more supportive and inclusive dance program in college, a teacher helped her rediscover her confidence and love for dance. This renewed encouragement allowed her to see her potential and inspired her to pursue dance more seriously as a future career. 00:00 / 04:58 Well, I started dancing like most people in, like, a small, little silly dance studio in my town, where I was like three, and it was fun. We didn't really learn a lot of dance, but we just played around mostly, and I met a lot of my friends that I still know today from there. But one friend, specifically, her name is Emma, she decided to go to another studio, and it was a much more strict and professional studio. So, when she decided to go there, her mom persuaded my mom to go there, as well. And, um, so I started going to that studio, but it was a much different environment than the dance studio I went to before when I was younger. I remember the director of the studio sometimes she would, like, come into the studio where we were having classes, and, like, we'd all be so scared of her because she was such a strict and scary person. And I remember it was, like, I had fun in the beginning, and I started having classes with the director, that's when I just started disconnecting my love for dance with my time at the studio. And, I would only really go because I wanted to see my friends there. I wasn't one of her favorites, so I would like rarely get corrections on things that I was doing, and I wouldn't really get good parts in recital pieces. And it made me feel so bad because all my friends who, like, were a favorite or had someone on the board would be getting these good parts. And I thought that I was, like, so much worse than them and, like, just a bad dancer, and that made me not wanna try anymore. I graduated high school, and that summer before college, I wasn't dancing, and I, like, realized that I really missed dancing. So, I wanted to see if they had classes at UMass that I could take. And I was interested in taking classes, but I didn't really want to, like, get a dance degree because I thought I was bad, and I didn't wanna continue with something that I was bad in. And to do that, like, I had to submit an audition video basically. I sent in a video from my last recital. And honestly, I was expecting to, like, for them to say “No,” and not in the major, but then, they immediately respond, and they were like, "Yes, you're admitted!” I was like, oh wow, they actually, like, appreciated me as a dancer. And then when I started taking classes at UMass, my ballet teacher, Tom, he gave me a different view of ballet than what I grew up in, and he didn't pick favorites. He made sure to look at everyone in the room and, like, give corrections to everyone and show attention to everyone regardless of their, like, technical ability in ballet, and I never saw that before. I think he was, like, the first dance teacher to, like, actually appreciate me and, like, give me corrections and make me think that I was a good dancer. I really started to love dance and want to pursue it professionally. I felt proud of the way I danced, and I can see myself improving, which I, like, didn't really see before. And now, I actually see, like, having a career and dance as my future, which I, I, like, always wanted as a kid, but I never actually believed would happen. In doing that made me love dance, and dance became fun for me again. Previous Next

In his story, Dennis Bidwell guides us through his harrowing journey applying for Conscientious Objector (CO) Status during the Vietnam War. Dennis reflect on his coming of age, the culture of the 1960's and 70's, and his experience writing "the most important essay of [his] life" Dennis's Story In his story, Dennis Bidwell guides us through his harrowing journey applying for Conscientious Objector (CO) Status during the Vietnam War. Dennis reflect on his coming of age, the culture of the 1960's and 70's, and his experience writing "the most important essay of [his] life" Scroll to listen Dennis's Story 00:00 / 04:12 Well to set the stage. I was in college from 1967 to 1971, and those were very tumultuous times in this country, much of it having to do with the US fighting an ultimately disastrous war in Vietnam and the growing resistance to that war effort. But I was going through a process of trying to figure out what I thought about all this, and I concluded that I was just morally and conscientiously opposed, that I did not want to participate in this war, and there's a process of becoming a conscientious objector. And I went through that process, and my draft board said, okay, we find that you area conscientious objector. So that mean tthat if my draft number came up, I wouldn't be put into the military and sent off to fight the war, but I would be asked to do some for mf alternative service. At that point,I had been admitted to law school. I was going to be going to NYU in Greenwich Village in New York, was all excited about heading to NewYork, pursuing the law. I made the estimation that my number would come ups o that even if I started law school, I would have to stop law school in order to go do my alternative service of some sort . So I made the decision to just defer and to instead take a job that would qualify as alternative service if my number came up .And I was very interested in urban education, so I decided I would be a day care teacher on a Head Start program in Boston. So I took that job. It turns out that my number didn't come up, so I could have, introspect,go ne to law school and just stayed there and moved in that direction. But instead I wound up teaching. And though I discovered that teaching itself wasn't necessarily my cup of tea, but I got involved in other aspects of urban education issues. I became the director of a community school, and then I became involved in other organizing efforts around education in Boston neighborhoods, and I be ca me involved in a variety of youth services and the funding of youth services. So I wound up getting just totally fascinated with the life of neighborhood organizations in different Boston neighborhoods, particularly Jamaica Plain where I lived for 20 years. And there were a few years where I thought about, am I going to go back to law school or not?And at some point that just kind of faded, and I wound up headed in different directions, following my curiosities, following my interests. As I look back on those years,IrealizedthatIdevelopedasenseofconfidencethatIcouldchangedirectionsandstilllandonmyfeet.Andth at sense of confidence, that sense of agency, has served me well ever since. And as I look back on it, though, I would like to say, oh, it's because of my ingenuity and my smarts, and that may have a little so me thing to do with it. I recognize that so much of this was the privilege that I had, the wonderful education that was made possible for me by my parents. I had a financial back stop. But knowing that there was a very good chance I would land on my feet. Those early years helped give me the confidence to be able to make changes like that knowing how fortunateI was to be able to bring that attitude to things. Many, many people were not and do not now have the kind of background handed to them and the privilege and access handed to them that makes that possible.

< Back Sophia's Story Sophia reflects on her difficult high school experience after transferring schools, which led to isolation, academic struggles, and severe depression. Over time, this culminated in a crisis during junior year, but support from counselors, teachers, and an alternative program director helped her begin to recover. Through patience, understanding, and gradual progress, she regained hope and was able to successfully graduate on time. Ultimately, the experience taught her the importance of accepting support from others and recognizing her own resilience. 00:00 / 04:30 I feel like mostly where I really saw change and how I saw myself was in my senior year. Halfway through freshman year, I decided to transfer by myself to my local public school, and that is where I would say everything started to crumble and fall apart. I really struggled with making any friends, especially since it was halfway through the school year. Everybody already had their established friend groups. Then I'm also a very shy person, so that just all compounded into me not having anyone to be with in my classes. I would avoid going to lunch and eating, and that manifested itself into me, staying home from school. I would not go for days at a time, and I ended up almost failing every single class in my freshman year. And this repeated itself, this process of me staying home for weeks at a time for my sophomore and my junior year, all the way up until my senior year where I really felt hopeless. That that entire the entire process of me, like, not going to school, from freshman year onwards caused me to develop pretty severe depression and anxiety, which that high school experience really brought the depression out. I ended up, in my junior year making an attempt on my life because of the loneliness, because I had saw online, on social media that all of my friends were hanging out on a day that I had decided to stay home. And that was really just, like, my breaking point, and I felt like everything was pointless and hopeless. Like, seeing the amount of people that came for me that cared about me really showed me that my life was valuable, but I still struggle to find the value. I felt broken. I felt like something was truly wrong with me. I felt like I wasn't meant to live a good life. I remember I wrote that in my journal. Like, I'm not meant maybe I'm meant to just be unhappy. My guidance counselors had to step in, and they had to place me into this alternative program that my high school offered. And I had gone from honors classes to being put into the college prep. I was I connected myself worth to my academic success. And seeing that I like, I couldn't handle the work of the honors classes, that just really made me feel just cemented the fact that I was different from my friends, that I was that I wasn't well, that I was not doing well mentally, and that just really broke me. When I first got put into the program, I knew that it was going to help me. I knew that I was put into it to help me. That's what all my counselors said, my teachers, my mom. That's what they all said to me. So, I started going through the program. I had a lot of support, particular from the program. I director, her name was miss Mac, and she would always give me kindness and give me grace. There would be days where I would go for just an hour, and I would get overwhelmed and anxious. And I would ask to leave, or I wouldn't come in until noon. She still always welcomed me into the program with old open arms. With her help and also with the help of my teachers, they talked to them about how I was feeling. I felt like they wouldn't give me any grace, but they were the most, they were so understanding. And I think just having their grace, having their kindness, just knowing that they wanted me to succeed really helped give me the hope that I could actually graduate, on time with all of my classmates and all of my peers, that I could actually do the things that I had set out for myself to do at the beginning of the year when I thought that I couldn't get through it, when I thought that I couldn't even, like, make it out of bed. For senior year, me at the end of the year versus senior year, me at the beginning of the year, completely different people. By the end of the year, I saw that all of my hard work actually did pay off and that I actually was going to be able to walk with all of my friends, to graduate with all of my friends. I felt like, at the beginning, I felt like I wasn't doing anything with my life, but not but towards the end, I felt like there was something that I could be that I could do. Like, even though I had gone through all of this gone through all of this suffering that I could, in fact, get it all done. So, I'm really thankful to those people in my life, that senior year because without them, I don't think I would have managed to graduate on time. I don't think I would have even been able to start my college career when I did. It just taught me that it's hard for me to rely on people, but I do need to rely on people in order to succeed. Previous Next

< Back Annabel's Story Annabel, who recently uprooted her life in North Carolina and moved to Northampton, MA, discusses how she ended up living in the city and her close familial relationships that led her there. 00:00 / 03:21 Stephanie: Speaking of Northampton, how did you even end up here? Like, how did you know this town? Because it is so small. Annabel: It is so small. I had been visiting here for a number of years because my daughter, who is a writer, and her husband is a publisher, they were living in Northampton and were - and Amherst and Northampton both have a huge community of writers. I ended up visiting frequently, and then 12 years ago, almost 13 years ago, they had a child who was born four months early. And she only weighed a pound and a half, and ended up having a lot of medical crises. She had a feeding tube and a trach. Stephanie: Oh, my God… Annabel: And, ended up spending four hundred and [sic] days in three different hospitals. Thank God she was in Massachusetts because she had some fabulous care here. Stephanie: Yeah. Annabel: She is doing really really well now. Um, and if you didn’t know, if you didn’t see the scar in her neck you wouldn’t know she had a trach. And, ironically, as a two year old, I had a trach… Stephanie: Oh… Annabel: Because of a really bad case of bronchial pneumonia, and ended up with a trach. So, we may be the only grandmother team… Stephanie: Yeah, that has… Annabel: that have the trach scars. Anyway, so I came up here a great deal while she was in the hospital - or, those 3 hospitals. And finally, I just thought, “I want to move there. I want to be near her,” so that was the reason I ended up here. And I’m so glad. I’m almost 75, and if you had told me I would make friends as good as any friends I’ve ever had I would not have believed it. So, I count my blessings that I ended up here. Stephanie: Yeah, that sounds really, that everything worked out, basically. Annabel: It did. It really did. Stephanie: Yeah. And was it hard making friends here? Annabel: I think at first, because I didn’t think that I could ever make friends like the ones I left behind, particularly back in North Carolina, I wasn’t reaching out. But finally, my daughter is best friends with another writer, whose mother moved here from California, and both of them kept saying “You’ll love each other if you get together!” and we instantly did. And then, I joined a church at the same time as another friend and we’ve become best friends. So I'm just amazed. I did not expect - I knew I would be happy here because of my daughter’s family. And there’s another family, they’re very close to me and I love them. I didn’t think I’d have peers as friends, but I do, and I’m so glad. Yeah. Previous Next

< Back Hellen's Story Hellen describes the way her house represents Africa from the mustard-yellow color on the outside to the smell on the inside and the white lace sheets over the doors. Her parents incorporate many pieces of Kenya with them in their home in the US, and continue many traditions from their past. 00:00 / 03:42 Previous Next

Hannah talks about the risk that she took in studying abroad in Amsterdam and her experience amercing herself in the culture by herself and how it impacted her future career path. Hannah's Story Hannah talks about the risk that she took in studying abroad in Amsterdam and her experience amercing herself in the culture by herself and how it impacted her future career path. Scroll to listen Hannah's Story 00:00 / 02:07 Would you tell me about a time that you took a risk? A time I took a risk was going abroad last semester, my fall semester, senior year to Amsterdam. And I know it's like cliche like, oh yeah, you like go abroad, whatever. But I really wanted my abroad experience to be as natural as possible. I didn't want to go to an American school in a foreign country. I didn't want to go to a school where I knew I was going to be surrounded by other American college students. I really wanted to just like go abroad and experience like culture shock like head on. So I decided to go to fret university type in Amsterdam, like by myself. I didn't know, I didn't know it was. So when I got there, I literally like booked my flight a week before and just got on a plane and shipped myself off to Amsterdam knowing no one. And yeah, that was the time I really did take a risk. And what did you learn about yourself? Did learn that taking a risk is not only can I do it and I'm very capable um but like it just gave me that confidence that I can take risks in the future. And that taking risks actually is a good thing. And I have so many positive outcomes from doing it and I really have made some of my best friends um throughout the world just doing that experience. And so post grad, I'm a senior. So I'm graduating next at the end of the semester in like a month, which is terrifying. But I, I decided to take a job in South Korea, um, teaching English, which I never, I never would have done, had I not taken that risk to go to Amsterdam because it's like a similar situation where I don't know a soul there. I don't know a soul in Seoul. Um, but I, I don't know anyone there. I'm just going by myself to a country that's thousands of miles away, um, with a 13 hour time zone, like, and I'm ok with it and I'm excited for it and I'm, I'm not crying because of stress this time, but I'm really excited.

< Back Eden's Story In this story, Eden’s generous neighbor teaches her a valuable life lesson. The irony of this significant story is unique as the neighbor has no idea of the impact and life shaping this had on Eden. 00:00 / 03:47 Growing up both my parents worked. My mom would work later and my dad got out of work around 4 o’clock. So there were a couple of hours in the day after school where I needed someone to watch me and my neighbor, Paula, was the most gracious woman. She’s taught me a lot–definitely an influence from my childhood almost like a second grandmother and I looked up to her so much and loved her. There was a brief period where she couldn’t get me off the bus for about a week or so; I was probably 7 or 8 I can’t really remember but I was young. I remember my parents said ‘Oh, Paula’s sick’ but didn’t really get into anything. I don’t even know if they knew but she had been in the hospital. To this day, I still don’t know what illness she had but she got me off the bus when she was feeling better and I hadn’t seen her for about a week or a couple days, which was rare because I had been seeing this woman every day. So it was weird to not see her for a couple of days. She got me off the bus and we were just talking and I said ‘Oh, Paula, where have you been?’. She said she had been in the hospital and I kind of brushed over it and didn’t really know how to react because I was younger and didn’t know the complexity of certain illnesses. I didn’t ask her how she was doing or if she was feeling any better and it was the first time an adult other than my parents had checked me as a person and kind of put me in a place where I needed to reflect on myself. My parents had done it in more disciplinary ways, but this was deeper than that where it was about self-reflection and how I treat other people. I can remember like it was yesterday… the look on her face, she was so disappointed in me and hurt. She just looked at me and she goes ‘Eden! Are you even going to ask me if I’m doing okay or feeling any better? My heart sank because this was the woman I looked up to so much and loved and adored and would never wish ill on her ever, but she was right. I didn’t know what to say so I looked at her and said ‘I’m so sorry, Paula. Are you feeling better?’ She looked and told me ‘No, Eden, that’s not the point now that you asked. It’s that you knew that I was sick and you didn’t ask if I was feeling better or if I was doing okay and that hurt me because I thought that you would care’. She treated me as an adult, which I respected but it sat with me for a very long time and it definitely taught me this life lesson of how to be a compassionate person because I think when you’re a kid, you have this tendency to just naturally think about yourself and you don’t quite know how to express compassion for other people other than just being a nice person and having respect and treating others the way you want to be treated but I think compassion goes deeper than that. There are always going to be situations in life where you don’t really know what the right thing is to say, and I think about this memory when I go into situations like that when I know someone needs that extra support and compassion. You know, it’s better to say something than nothing at all and it's an important lesson that she taught me. She doesn’t even know that she did this and probably didn’t think much of it after the fact, but it’s just always stuck with me! Previous Next

Annabel's Story Annabel, who recently uprooted her life in North Carolina and moved to Northampton, MA, discusses how she ended up living in the city and her close familial relationships that led her there. Scroll to Listen Annabel's Story 00:00 / 03:21 Stephanie: Speaking of Northampton, how did you even end up here? Like, how did you know this town? Because it is so small. Annabel: It is so small. I had been visiting here for a number of years because my daughter, who is a writer, and her husband is a publisher, they were living in Northampton and were - and Amherst and Northampton both have a huge community of writers. I ended up visiting frequently, and then 12 years ago, almost 13 years ago, they had a child who was born four months early. And she only weighed a pound and a half, and ended up having a lot of medical crises. She had a feeding tube and a trach. Stephanie: Oh, my God… Annabel: And, ended up spending four hundred and [sic] days in three different hospitals. Thank God she was in Massachusetts because she had some fabulous care here. Stephanie: Yeah. Annabel: She is doing really really well now. Um, and if you didn’t know, if you didn’t see the scar in her neck you wouldn’t know she had a trach. And, ironically, as a two year old, I had a trach… Stephanie: Oh… Annabel: Because of a really bad case of bronchial pneumonia, and ended up with a trach. So, we may be the only grandmother team… Stephanie: Yeah, that has… Annabel: that have the trach scars. Anyway, so I came up here a great deal while she was in the hospital - or, those 3 hospitals. And finally, I just thought, “I want to move there. I want to be near her,” so that was the reason I ended up here. And I’m so glad. I’m almost 75, and if you had told me I would make friends as good as any friends I’ve ever had I would not have believed it. So, I count my blessings that I ended up here. Stephanie: Yeah, that sounds really, that everything worked out, basically. Annabel: It did. It really did. Stephanie: Yeah. And was it hard making friends here? Annabel: I think at first, because I didn’t think that I could ever make friends like the ones I left behind, particularly back in North Carolina, I wasn’t reaching out. But finally, my daughter is best friends with another writer, whose mother moved here from California, and both of them kept saying “You’ll love each other if you get together!” and we instantly did. And then, I joined a church at the same time as another friend and we’ve become best friends. So I'm just amazed. I did not expect - I knew I would be happy here because of my daughter’s family. And there’s another family, they’re very close to me and I love them. I didn’t think I’d have peers as friends, but I do, and I’m so glad. Yeah.

< Back Hengie's Story Hengie expresses the hardships her and her family faced growing up in Haiti and how her mother was a pillar to the close bond that her, her brother, and mother currently share. While battling the difficulties of growing up apart, Hengie describes her wishes for her family and their journey back to each other, establishing a strong foundation built on resilience, love, and unwavering determination, ultimately leading them back to the embrace of a cherished home. 00:00 / 04:27 When I think of who I am today, though, there are specific people that come to mind. I've always considered my mom and my brother to be my rock, and I refer to them as that for multiple reasons. I have few recollections of how, like, my family dynamic was before the earthquake in Haiti. I can probably tell you it was, like, your typical nuclear household that you would expect, like, a middle-class family from Haiti to be. But as a family unit, like, we've we were tested early on. The earthquake impacted us in different ways and just that was really, like, the day the world changed for us. And the loss of my father just caused a lot of uncertainty and just left so much uncertainty for a long time. And I can't even imagine how my brother and my mom, like, what was going through their minds at that time. For me, I was quite young, so, like, nothing really ever made sense to me. But they were much older, and I can imagine that it was equally a difficult time for them. But it wasn't until years later where I was able to reflect and kinda define what that time meant for me. And I realized that I have to applaud my mom for a lot of things. Not once did I ever question her love or support for us during that time. My mom worked and fought for my brother and I to leave Haiti as soon as possible just because it was so unsafe. The country was in shambles, basically. And the focus was always us. It was always our safety, our future, even though at that time, I can't even imagine how much she was struggling. And she was mourning the loss of her husband, the loss of her sister. So, it was a lot for her at that time. Like, I can't applaud her strength, really. So, we left without her, and we did the journey to live with my aunt in Florida with a family friend. And we ended up living with my aunt for about two years. We saw our mom, like, every few months a few months or so. She wasn't here regularly. And from that, I would say sacrifice was one of the first lessons that my mom ever taught me. Even though at the time it wasn't a question that we were her priority, I don't think at least I don't didn't understand the gravity of the sacrifice that we were making at the time. She worked very hard to make sure that we, like, turned out okay. And I put that in finger quotes because do you ever really turn out okay from such a traumatic event? But I wouldn't change our family dynamic for anything. Of course, I still wish that, you know, my father was still here with us, and that's never going to change him passing. And grieving him and just grief in general is, like, a long and constant process, and it looks different for everyone. But I'd like to imagine that my father is proud of us. Proud of us for sticking together, for keeping our connection strong. I imagine he's proud of me for trying to make the most out of every opportunity, especially proud of my mom for getting us there, for loving us, and for staying strong. I hope she knows that I'm also really proud of her too. My mom, my brother, and I, we lost a lot of time together. A lot of years spent just connecting, like, through phone calls, a lot of money spent on flights, and distance was always, like, a member of our family. And it was hard having to grow up away from each other for so many years. I struggled with us living apart for so long. It made me feel lost. Like, I had no sense of what home really looked like. I didn't feel quite safe or welcomed anywhere. Home can be a lot of things, and I'm still in the process of figuring that out for myself. But my wish for my mom and my brother and for all of us really is to be able to find that place that allows us to be at ease and cherish that comforting feeling, to feel so at home somewhere. Previous Next

< Back David's Story David reflects on the nature of influence and on who in his life has given him an understanding of passive and active influence. His father sparked his nerdy hobby interest, reflecting on emotional acceptance and openness, and his mother demonstrated quiet perseverance through her hard time in life, and him finding ways to influence her by building joys outside of work. In the end, reflecting on how his French teacher also provided a safe environment and genuine care during the chaos of COVID for him 00:00 / 05:30 Previous Next

Josh shares his dedication and identity to football at college and wanting to succeed in his athletic career, only to realize that it was taking him away from his academics. When Covid hit, which was brought with a year spent at home, he decided to change his focus from football towards his studies on Public Health. Leaving your past self may be hard, but it’s the sacrifice to limitless possibilities and realizing . Josh's Story Josh shares his dedication and identity to football at college and wanting to succeed in his athletic career, only to realize that it was taking him away from his academics. When Covid hit, which was brought with a year spent at home, he decided to change his focus from football towards his studies on Public Health. Leaving your past self may be hard, but it’s the sacrifice to limitless possibilities and realizing . Josh's Story 00:00 / 03:20 So at 18 I think, not that my head was in the wrong place but, now looking back I was definitely a little bit naive, I think. I was really obviously into football. I'd like that's where I kind of put all my time and energy. I was fortunate enough where I won a state championship with my team in my senior year so that kind of boosted not my ego but my like attention towards football and wanting to keep on having success in the sport. So I obviously ended up going to Springfield College right after graduation to go play football at the college you know after being there for a couple of months and just kind of interacting with the people there. I just kind of realized that like I wasn't really getting as much out of it then that I thought I was going to and I was like you know what I'd rather just commit the time that I was spending playing football just to focus purely on my academics at that point. So I decided that I was going to quit football which was kind of a big part of my identity at the time. I kind of had to learn how to you know take that part of myself and kind of let it be in the past. I would say fortunately but unfortunately enough by the time I realize that I was done playing football Covid became a thing and that was during the Spring of my freshman year so we all got sent home and that was kind of like the you know the nail in the coffin for my decision if there's any time to you know hang up the cleats now. I lived at home for about like a year and then at that time I transferred to you Umass. As my studies kind of kept on getting more in depth, I started to figure out that I really liked them my new major public health I you know I started to meet some new people and most of them were from you know the friends that I had for my hometown and I met their friends that they met up here. I would say that when it comes to you know now being 22 and graduating in a month I would say like the biggest difference from like now to when I was 18 in high school and like you know kind of just bullying and obsessed with football is that I kind of realized that education is definitely you know the ultimate way forward because you know I was just so into Sport and then I realized that we're all just lifelong learners and why limit myself and put time into you know a sport just entertain myself when I could go out and like learn something. My dad was my football coach in high school so he obviously kind of wanted me to keep on playing but he obviously had no like there's no pressure that came with like he wasn't going to force me to keep on playing. He would have liked it if I did but, he was totally supportive that I decided I wasn't going to play anymore. Previous Next