Josh shares his dedication and identity to football at college and wanting to succeed in his athletic career, only to realize that it was taking him away from his academics. When Covid hit, which was brought with a year spent at home, he decided to change his focus from football towards his studies on Public Health. Leaving your past self may be hard, but it’s the sacrifice to limitless possibilities and realizing . Josh's Story Josh shares his dedication and identity to football at college and wanting to succeed in his athletic career, only to realize that it was taking him away from his academics. When Covid hit, which was brought with a year spent at home, he decided to change his focus from football towards his studies on Public Health. Leaving your past self may be hard, but it’s the sacrifice to limitless possibilities and realizing . Josh's Story 00:00 / 03:20 So at 18 I think, not that my head was in the wrong place but, now looking back I was definitely a little bit naive, I think. I was really obviously into football. I'd like that's where I kind of put all my time and energy. I was fortunate enough where I won a state championship with my team in my senior year so that kind of boosted not my ego but my like attention towards football and wanting to keep on having success in the sport. So I obviously ended up going to Springfield College right after graduation to go play football at the college you know after being there for a couple of months and just kind of interacting with the people there. I just kind of realized that like I wasn't really getting as much out of it then that I thought I was going to and I was like you know what I'd rather just commit the time that I was spending playing football just to focus purely on my academics at that point. So I decided that I was going to quit football which was kind of a big part of my identity at the time. I kind of had to learn how to you know take that part of myself and kind of let it be in the past. I would say fortunately but unfortunately enough by the time I realize that I was done playing football Covid became a thing and that was during the Spring of my freshman year so we all got sent home and that was kind of like the you know the nail in the coffin for my decision if there's any time to you know hang up the cleats now. I lived at home for about like a year and then at that time I transferred to you Umass. As my studies kind of kept on getting more in depth, I started to figure out that I really liked them my new major public health I you know I started to meet some new people and most of them were from you know the friends that I had for my hometown and I met their friends that they met up here. I would say that when it comes to you know now being 22 and graduating in a month I would say like the biggest difference from like now to when I was 18 in high school and like you know kind of just bullying and obsessed with football is that I kind of realized that education is definitely you know the ultimate way forward because you know I was just so into Sport and then I realized that we're all just lifelong learners and why limit myself and put time into you know a sport just entertain myself when I could go out and like learn something. My dad was my football coach in high school so he obviously kind of wanted me to keep on playing but he obviously had no like there's no pressure that came with like he wasn't going to force me to keep on playing. He would have liked it if I did but, he was totally supportive that I decided I wasn't going to play anymore. Previous Next

< Back Rebekah's Story 00:00 / 04:29 Previous Next

< Back Djenabou's Story Djenabou talks with Rene about her family. She shares her exceptional relationship that she has with her sister. 00:00 / 03:08 Djenabou: So my youngest brother is named TJ, that’s his nickname but his name is Tijani. He is 17 years old. And then higher from that is my brother named Hamadou. He is 18. Then there is me, 22. And then my other sister named Fanta, she just turned 31 a couple days ago. And then my eldest sister's name is Isha and she is also 31. I'm closer to my sister, Fanta since Isha, my eldest sister left when she was 16, had to leave the country. So I grew up with my sister Fanta for all of my life; all the bickering, arguing, we grew really, really close because we were always together. We would go to the movies together like each week or go to the mall each week and stuff. Rene: “What was it like when you were little?” Djenabou: I think one moment that I remember with Fanta was we were watching High School Musical together on VHS and I love musicals now because she had High School Musical so that was a really connected bond between us. And another thing, I think when I was in elementary school, she would always go to all of my award shows because my parents were always working and stuff like that so my sister would always be there for my award shows and stuff. And it was always important because when she went to see me receive all my awards and even at my graduation too, when my parents weren’t there. Rene: “You know I’m a big sister and I have two younger sisters and I was a stand-in mom for them frequently, so I understand the tenderness of that relationship. So she was like your mom at times, your big sister, tell me a little bit about how you would characterize your relationship with her.” Djenabou: I think about tough love, like she is very honest, very brutally honest. But I know she does that because she cares about everyone in the house. And I know that if I ask her for something she'll do it. No questions asked shell do it. She will ask questions a little bit after but she’ll definitely do it. She's very caring, she's funny too. She has her moments, I guess. She's such a perfectionist also, a very high maintenance person. She's very very independent as well. Rene: So what would you most like, if you could tell her thank you, what is it you would say to her? Djenabou: I would thank her for a lot of stuff, like being the person I can go to. Also, just being the role model for me too. And always making sure I’m good and I have everything. If I don't have anything she will provide me with that. Even planning for my birthday too with my group of friends, she'll pay for it even though the bill is high. She will go out of her way and pay for it. Just like that second motherly figure and stuff. Rene: Really, how lovely. Previous Next

< Back Imani's Story 00:00 / 05:11 Previous Next

< Back Pam's Story 00:00 / 03:48 My story is about resilience. I have learned at 65 years old that resilience is a process and not a personality trait. I really wish I had learned this when I was younger because I probably wouldn't have spent so much time being so judgmental and critical of myself. Resilience isn't about when something difficult happens in your life and you forget about it and move on. I was ignoring my feelings and stuffing all my emotions into a very dark place. Throughout my life, I've had some bad experiences, more than some people and less than others. I grew up in an abusive household, and it continued until my thirties. The parents were physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive. And because it was so bad, I blocked my knowledge of this even happening. Nightmares and flashbacks were my first clue that something was wrong. Your brain's ability to block memories works by protecting the psyche to help you survive. If I had actually known what was going on, I might have died. Something else that was very difficult in a different way was moving so many times. When I entered ninth grade, it was my seventh move. We moved every two to two and a half years. The dad was in office furniture sales, and we went where he went. This was really hard on me because I would move, meet new friends, then move again, lose those friends, and meet new ones. It was a constant cycle of change. I couldn't depend on anything, so I have very few memories of that time as well. Again, my my brain blocked what was going on. Another way I dealt with the dark inside me was by being a serious athlete in high school, college, and adult athletic programs. I swam, ran, and participated in triathlons. I would recommend to anyone that being an athlete is a good way to spend time, so it's not bad by itself. But hindsight, I was totally running away from my feelings. Again, it was a way for my brain to block terrible memories. And then as an adult, I've experienced many physical issues, including an eating disorder, migraines, TBIs, Parkinson's disease, and a back injury. Only in the last six months have I understood how resilient I am. But the good news is that through this back injury, I've been able to feel both the physical and emotional pain. I started working with a pain management expert out of the Boston, Massachusetts area. People in severe pain tend to make their lives very small by staying at home, not seeing people, not learning new things, or not moving the body. If I shut down my pain and live a small life, it makes my pain worse. I'm not telling you this story to complain. This is a story about how I've been able to look back on my history and learn what it takes to be resilient. I am now making my life bigger by doing small things like playing the guitar, taking singing lessons, and working a part time job as a dragon boat team coach manager. I try to shine a light on my pain to help open it up and heal. I use music, meditation, breathing techniques, and body scans to calm myself down and to be in the present moment. But most importantly, the only way you can heal physically and emotionally is to make the choice that the pain is real. Previous Next

< Back Jonathan's Story, 2021 Jonathan talks with Julia about the importance of his family network during the pandemic. Likewise, he is thankful for social media and zoom technology because it enabled him to stay in touch with his family. 00:00 / 03:46 Again the family network was very, very important. Your children, where are they currently living? Where are they living? Two of them are in Northampton Massachusetts, which is where I am now. Which explains one hundred percent why once we were both retired why we moved here. My daughter said cheerfully, I am quite happy to look after you when you are a Gaga but I am not driving up and down 91. And that seemed pretty reasonable. She's been, she's been wonderful. During the pandemic, you know before we all got vaccinated and all that, she would go shopping for us. We didn’t feel this way but we pretty much lived an isolated life in our house. And she wouldn’t let us go anywhere and it was wonderful. And she was very cheerful about it, never complained. That's a great relationship to have too, and very selfless of her. Yeah, oh yeah, I mean she's, all three of them are very very caring about these old folks that report to be their parents. Would you say, I know you mentioned that now looking back on it, during COVID you were isolated, but would you say that that isolation translated to feeling lonely or would you say on the contrary, being able to use zoom and connect with your brothers all over the country and also with your son in California and having your daughter around, would you say you actually still felt very connected? Yeah, I know that people who lived on their, who lived on their own, have had to cope with learning, there is no question about it. Which means both our sons, so child number one, child number three, are on their own, and different times it’s been very hard. We have a nephew too who lives in Ottawa and he’s on his own, he's talked about that. I think that for people who are partners and who get on with their spouses, some of course are partners but wish they weren’t, but we are not in that category. It's been, it's been much easier. I felt, right at the beginning of the pandemic when it was totally unexpected and we had no idea what was happening, I suppose I felt a little bit, alone. But, having a spouse, having children and grandchildren who didn't come into the house for months but we would walk up and down the street. You know, and chat with them. And having zoom and being a voracious reader, I don’t think that was an issue for me. Previous Next

< Back Rene's Story Rene explains how she feels being the eldest sister of her siblings. She talks through how an experience with her brother brought their relationship together. 00:00 / 03:59 So my first question is what was your role as the eldest self out eldest sister? Well, I'm the oldest of four. And let's see, I have a sister who's two and a half younger, two and a half years, three years younger than I am. And then another. I had a brother and a sister seven years younger than I am. So we were the girls and twins. That's what we refer to as we were growing up. It was wonderful. It's really a position of privilege. And it's also burden. It was also burdensome. I was a lot was expected of me in terms of helping my mom take care of the other three, she was a woman who was viewed as sickly, and I was capable, and I was smart. And I was willing, because I just wanted those parents to walk me into an audit to get me what I wanted to care those kids in January of 2019, my brother, her twin died, my brother died, he had cancer. And for the last three months of his life, the three sisters we're very close family, almost too close. Sometimes we were almost too close sometimes. My three sisters and I went to Florida and took care of him in his in his medical needs were complicated. And three of us just took on what we were best at. My sister Joanne, the youngest one, his twin is good at organizing shows, she would organize things. And everything was very organized. The medications were organized, our schedules were organized. My sister Marina who loves loves, loves animals. She's such a tender hearted woman. Well, my brother had 180 pound English master. And the dog ate only raw food because my brother was very fussy about what his dogs eat. And Marina, we prepare my sister is two and a half years younger, she would really take care of moose ducks name was moose. And she would feed him and make sure he was water bowls. I mean, Moose was a lot of work. It was like having another child and did things that were more around the emotional caretaking of my brother and made sure that every time he left his bed and came out into the main area, and he had this television screen, which was like, like a sports bar television screen, it was huge. And he would come and sit on the couch and blare it out. And I made sure that every time he came out and sat down, loose was on one side of him in a sister, any one of us, no matter what was going on, one of us had to be sitting next to him, like holding his hand or leaning up against what I leaned up against him. I really wanted him to feel and know our presence and our love was very, very moving. It was such a gift to be with him at the end such a gift and in many ways it both is in a funny way it bonded us the three sisters. It bonded us in a way nothing else could have done. And it also gave us some freedom from each other because I grew up in this enmeshed family, family that just to leave the family was felt like sometimes an act of betrayal to go to college felt for me like an act of betrayal. Somehow after Mark step, having had this very intense experience. We found our freedom to be more of who we were, as individuals. Previous Next

< Back Naomi's Story Naomi talks about her experiences growing up and about how these experiences shaped her approach to parenting and helped her understand what she truly values in her relationships. 00:00 / 03:16 Previous Next

< Back Elise's Story Elise Boehm talks to Edie Kirk about her decision to study abroad in Cuba and what it was like once she got there. She shares stories about where she went and what she did but also how the people there made her feel more confident speaking Spanish. 00:00 / 03:24 My sophomore year at UMass Amherst I decided to go study abroad in Cuba and everything I would say went pretty well. You know one of the first things we did when everybody was there was we got to ride the ya know old-school classic Cuba cars. Which was I think one of the coolest things ya know we could have done. We took a ride around Havana just sightseeing ya know we got to take pictures with the car, in the car, outside of the car and it was a lot of fun. It was probably one of the best memories I have ya know when we were all like in the cars side by side, we were just like recording taking videos ya know I think the most important lesson that I learned is that even though I was scared of trying something new ya know I am glad that I did it and that I didn't let the fear of trying something new get in the way of me experiencing this great opportunity I think some of the best memories I have are when I push myself out of my comfort zone and just try something new ya know I am grateful that despite this being scary, being away in a completely different country and traveling alone I didn't let that fear get in my way I started to ya know feel more confident as time went on I mean I push myself to try some new things I was very grateful for that and I guess another thing that I was I guess happy with was that I got to get away from internet and what was happening back home because where we were at theres no internet so if we wanted to use the internet we would have to walk a few blocks to the nearest hotel and we would have to sit there and we would have to buy an internet card and put it in our phones and they we would have internet for how ever many minutes and so then thats how we communicate with the people back home and ya know go on social media and everything you would do on the internet and I think that ya know that being so far away and us not having like internet readily accessible was a great experience because its like we weren’t nt focused on like what was happening back home, what people were posting, what we were posting and so it was a way that we could fully embrace the experience and just be in the culture be in Cuba without adding these extra distractions ya know we really got to really experience it and i think that is one thing that I am proud of is that i dont think anyone on that trip really complained about the difficulties of getting internet because we were all having such a good time we were always busy or finding something to do whether it be going to classes, or going to the beach, going to the museum ya know we were constantly busy we had these field trips that we would go on so i think it was definitely a good experience overall. Previous Next

< Back Marcia's Story Marcia explains how the simple act of being friendly and saying hi dramatically changed her world and formed life long relationships in the summer of 1968. 00:00 / 06:42 Marcia: My world dramatically changed by being friendly and saying hi to several people one summer. It was the summer of 1968. It was after my sophomore year at University of Wisconsin Madison, and I was looking forward to an exchange program with Warwick University in England. But in order to help pay for everything I had a job working in K Sandwich Shop which was at 18th Street in downtown DC. And the location of that sandwich shop was really critical to what happened next. There was a stretch of time where I guess was working a late shift, so it was relatively empty, but I noticed in another section there was this fellow who kept coming in who looked to be about my age. What looked different about him was that every time he came in he was wearing a shirt that was pastel colored, small flowers, and he had kind of longish hair. The more I looked at him, I thought, “that looks like Carnaby Street, he’s got to be British.” So, I just decided to go over one day and chat him up, which I did. It turned out, indeed, he did just graduate from the London School of Economics and he was on his way to what he called Barkley—which was Berkley for a law degree. But he was staying with very close friend of his family who lived in London, and I immediately thought, “Oh my god, this poor guy he’s just with grown ups all the time, maybe he would really like to find out what its like not to be a grown up.” So, I asked him if he wanted to come over to my house for dinner the next night. Now I have to put that in a little context, my father had a gift store and there were lots of traveling salesmen, and when I was growing up it was not unusual at all to sit at the dinner table and to find a stranger there. So, I picked him up where he was staying, and we just a had a really fun dinner together. I remember just sitting in our living room on the floor with our backs supported by this sofa, and I had my little important notebook with me, and he gave me all sorts of information about England, about London in particular. And then he gave me the name and the phone number of a very good friend of his in London in case I wanted to get in touch with him. And also, he gave me the name of his parents and their phone number. So that was really lovely, and then he went on his way, and I continued to work. I went to Paris for that month, and the night before I was to leave for Paris, I got one of those really wretched 24-hour stomach bugs. I felt really terrible, but I had to leave the next day. So—I just had to do that so I did it. I ended up in the center of London at bustling Victoria Station and really wasn’t feeling that great and wasn’t sure what I was going to do until I decided I guess I should really call his friend. So, I did, I figure out how to use a phone and called his friend. I introduced myself and to my utter amazement he went, “Oh Marcia! I have been expecting to hear from you.” I went, “Oh my gosh”—that mean Alex had to have gotten in touch with his friend. So, he said, “Look, I actually can’t give you a place to stay but come here and we’ll figure out what to do.” So, he gave me the directions, I followed them, I got to his place, and he said, “I’ve been thinking about this, and I think you have to call his parents.” And I’m like, what? That was so bizarre to me, I was just—really? So, I picked up the phone and I called them, and the same thing happened. I introduced myself and they went, “Oh Marcia! We’ve been expecting to hear from you. Yes, come over. Nick is having a dinner party but I’m sure he would just be thrilled to have you join.” They were so nice and interesting, and everyone was just terrific. And then, I told them what my plans were. I had a friend from Wisconsin who was in Norwich. We had talked about in the Spring to go to England, and he said, “Why don’t you come out and spend some time there?” Okay. I stayed there for three days or so, enjoyed myself, and then I was ready for the next chapter which was going to be going to Coventry to work where I was going to be for that semester. I started putting my thumb out, getting ready to hitch; and I tried and I tried and I tried. It went on for quite awhile and I was having absolutely no success. What I didn’t know was that it was impossible to hitch in that direction, what I really needed to do was go back to the hub. I needed to go to back London and then I needed to go north. When I did figure out and I was back in London, it was already getting kind of late, and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get to Coventry in time before it got dark. I also remembered how wonderful that family was, and I thought, “I just wonder if I could just stay there one more night” so I called and they went, “Oh yes! Come, we’re having a dinner party tonight, but we would love for you to join.” So that was that. I decided—It was just a semester exchange program, but I just didn’t think it was enough time. I really wanted to be immersed in another culture, but the complication was where I would live. I did find a place in a little village, Kenilworth, and overtime that actually didn’t work out. In the end, because I had classes only on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I could do research in London. I could go to the British Museum every day and I could live with the Finers. Which is what I did. Maurice would drive me to Euston Station on Tuesday mornings, I would take the train up, I would go to my classes, I would spend one night in Kenilworth, and then I would hitch back. And I did for months and months and months, and I just became an integral part of the family. Previous Next

Charlie's Story Charlie reflects on how he values his experiences with people who he met through his jobs throughout the course of his life. Scroll to Listen Charlie's Story 00:00 / 03:34 Charlie: But the thing that life has taught me is that life is about people. So, everything you do is an opportunity to meet someone. And I've never met anyone who didn't have something to offer. Some more than others. I don't know that I met anyone who had a dramatic effect on my life's path. But because of my role as a newspaper publisher, I got to meet lots of folks, people who were extraordinary people and some of them were presidents of colleges in the valley of five college communities. One of my favorites was Mary Maples down at Smith College, who I would work with. But she was just wonderful to get to know and to work with. At one point I was talking with somebody at and I don't know a meeting at the newspaper and we were talking about going fishing and she said, “what about me? Aren't you gonna take me?” And so in those days I flew with a small plane and we flew down the road island, got on a boat and went out and fished and my deal was I had to deliver her, she had to speak at an alumni group in New York city. So I had to drop her off from New York on my way home. So she was very special. But wherever you are people, as I say, I've never met somebody who didn't have something to offer and whether it's somebody driving a cab or doesn't make any difference. You know, you meet important people and not so important people. And one of my favorite important people stories has to do with Silvio Conte, who was a representative in Washington from this area. I got to know him through the newspaper and I would go to him for things that needed to be done in Washington. I would lobby him, for instance, when I was at the local hospital board, I would ask him to try and be helpful to the hospital. And he called me one day. He says “I helped you. I want you to help me.” And I said, “what?” He said, “my daughter lives here in Washington who works here, and it breaks my heart because she has this wonderful dog. But the dog sits in an apartment all day long and I'm trying to get her to get rid of the dog.” So my wife Kelly and I flew down to Washington, picked up the Brittany spaniel and his daughter would come and visit from time to time. So we had the best of both worlds. The key for me has always been you get far more out of helping people than the time and energy that it takes. So it's a win-win situation.

Diane talks about how her goals and ambitions are constantly changing throughout our lives. Diane and Victoria discuss how they have changed throughout lives, and what has remained constant. The common thread for both women is their strong mothers. Diane's Story Diane talks about how her goals and ambitions are constantly changing throughout our lives. Diane and Victoria discuss how they have changed throughout lives, and what has remained constant. The common thread for both women is their strong mothers. Diane's Story 00:00 / 06:01 There were eight of us in the household and I was child number seven out of eight. So I would describe myself as kind of the weirdo, you know my older sisters were very responsible and my younger sister was the beautiful baby right so, I was sort of the I mean not in I don't think this in a bad way, I just think that it was just sort of like I had the opportunity to sort of I didn't have a lot of responsibility and I didn't have to be the baby which also is a sort of responsibility. So yeah I got I got to be a little loose as a child, and I was you know, I colored a lot and collected leaves and things like that. When I was young, I wanted to be with lots of people all the time and I wanted to make food and have fun. I didn't know how to turn that into a money-making career, I just wanted to be with people very social as a little person but, that changed a little bit when I became a teenager. I became far less interested in being social in being with my family even. I withdrew a little bit. I sort of indulged in the quirkiness a little bit more and then then maybe was healthy for me my family was still there even though I kind of took a wander but, I it was at that point I did start thinking about careers and things like that and like could I be a social worker or could I be someone who listened? Because I am a bit of a talker, still. I am chatty, let’s just face it. I’m a Chatty Cathy but I wanted to learn how to be a listener and maybe take some of that into work that was helpful work to individual you know. I was never really very interested in making money I think I wanted to make a difference. You know the other thing that we spoke about once was that tape measure principle of like if you pull out each inch and you know at 10 everything that you've done by 10 inches and then 20 inches, what have you done and I'm like okay here I am at 60 inches, so far from you know that 6 year old self who was collecting leaves, and how much more time do I have? Do I have another 10 years or 20 years and do the years make a difference? And I decided after our last conversation that I want my legacy to be that I went sort of day by day. I want it to be that I just took each day and I tried, I didn't try to be happy I don't I don't necessarily want to try for that I want that to be the end result of what I do, so I I think, like you, I'm I probably smile too much I might be insanely happy most of the time but, I think that you know I think for me it's really turning into the small differences. The kindnesses and the little bits that add up to what I hope will be you know a legacy of well she didn't she wasn't terrible you know I mean I think that would be enough for me and that’s all right. It is okay and I learned that from you and and our conversations because I see it in you as well. So often you said to me, it is one thing everyday. It is at least one thing everyday and I thought wow this is this is actually harder Victoria but it's much more fulfilling and I think it makes a greater impact then holding back or not doing because there's lots of opportunities for it and I appreciate that insight into your vision of the world cuz I'm trying to put it into my vision of the world. So I guess that would be my legacy. So I know one thread that we shared was was our mom's. I don't know if that's one that you were thinking of at this moment. It was with great joy that I was able to tell my mother that I was participating in this project and she was interested to know about it. Then she died at 99 years old and after a very good and rich and wonderful life and it really meant a lot to me to be able to share that with you. I'm getting a little choked up now but it was sort of like she was really she was always curious she always wanted to know what was around the corner or why did you do that or what are you eating today or any of those things. It was really a lot and I think that it was a big part of my healing process was talking with you and you were very patient and listening to every single story but it was a big thing for me to be able to also maybe think and talking with you and some of the questions and the places we went it was like okay so maybe a part of my legacy is continue Dorising and to share with other people like you. What Doris was, what she did and how like she was kind, you know like your mom and we shared that. That’s part of the good thing, we can talk about anything, you and I. it's not necessarily a passing of a torch okay but it was a little bit of you gave me the like “you can do this Diane you can take this on” and I really appreciated that cuz I think I was feeling sort of bereft and alone and I wasn't and you showed me that. We Dorised together though. We turned her into a verb and we did it and I hope someday to get to tell your mom what you've been in my life. Previous Next