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Laura's Story In this story, Laura reflects on her connection to modern dance and how it has followed her throughout her life. Scroll to Listen Laura's Story 00:00 / 05:28 Laura: I believe I was four and my mother in a creative movement class that was in the basement of this teacher’s home. She was just magical to me. She—her name was Roslyn Fidel. I have very vivid memories of being in this class at age four and growing like a flower, leaping over rivers, and just the magic of being in the presence of this captivating figure—this dance teacher. So, it never stopped after that. We moved further out of Long Island, and my mother found another wonderful teacher of modern dance. In my—I guess maybe my junior year—I would start taking the Long Island railroad into the city to take classes at the 92nd Street Y. In my senior, I started dancing with one of these pioneers of modern dance, his name was Charles Weidman, and would be in these performances on Friday nights. And then I became a dance major at Ohio State but didn’t last because I actually became ill with anorexia and left school and then there were different steps to where ended up. I was in very bad shape and this dance teacher from my teen years called me, and she said that she had heard another of the students in that group was at the University of Wisconsin and she was studying something called dance therapy. And she thought I might be interested in. She had heard I was having a hard time. So, within a week, I was enrolled at NYU in their dance therapy program. And it was such a lifesaver for me because I had been—there was such conflict, such yearning to dance; and I was so depressed and unable to dance; I didn’t have the strength, and it felt so far away—as soon as I walked into that first class of dance therapy I realized—I discovered that I could bring dance back into my life in a way that would also help other people and be really meaningful and meet me where I was at a person and give me this future. Dance actually didn’t end up becoming my main career. Actually, I got a master’s degree in social work. I managed to through missing dance and feeling that social work was never the appropriate—the best—career for me, I was not one to sit in a chair. I managed to discover a way to continue to dance indirectly through the social work because I was working with elders and discovered there was woman who—Liz Lerman—who had an intergenerational dance company. I saw a picture of her dancing with these older dancers in this Swan Lake lineup, and I was just captivated. You know, I once wrote something about this question of growing older as a dance. When I—often times—and it used to happen maybe more, I would dream about dance. Actually, I just had a dream where I could do amazing things in my dream. I could fly into the stars. I would take off from the ground and sail and wouldn’t come down—things like that. So, I had written this—it was an article actually for a magazine about growing older as a dancer, and this hope that those images when I closed my eyes and dream, that I would still have that capacity to conjure those. That they would still come to me. Because I think the imaginable life—the dream life—is another life and maybe that would be something that would be a gift in my dying days.

< Back Kelly's Story Kelly talks with Jesse about her evolving family dynamics during the COVID-19 pandemic. 00:00 / 04:10 When COVID first started, it was my sophomore year of college. I was living on campus at UMass. I remember specifically when I found out that it was going to be like a real issue. It was when Tom Hanks got COVID. It was a joke in my family that that was the first time I actually got a little nervous. I was supposed to go on the UMass Habitat for Humanity trip to Georgia, but they obviously ended up having to cancel it. I have two older brothers Kevin and Timmy. My brother Kevin right now is 27. And my brother Timmy, or Tim, is 25. And I'm 21. My brother wasn't living with us initially, he was living on his own, but obviously COVID isolated a lot of people. He didn't want to be alone like that, especially since we didn't know how long it was going to be. So, he actually moved back home with us. It was the first time in quite a few years that I had a full house. It was weird at first, I think, obviously, I had to do online school. And my mom was working from home. My dad's an electrician, so he wasn't even working. My dad's a funny guy. He loves attention. And he hates being bored. So he was bothering my brothers who were working remotely too. So it was just a cluster of us on our laptops for a little bit. But I think it was really great overall, looking back at it, especially at that time, it was nice to kind of get my family all back together for a few months. I feel like not a lot of people have that opportunity. So it was kind of nice. I learned a lot about my own study habits, work ethic, and stuff like that. In terms of online classes, I feel like it was a hit or miss. Some professors were really good at keeping us engaged. We had more than a year online, because we left the second semester two years ago. So it's like I forgot what it's like to actually be in school. Learning in general, it just isn't what it used to be. It's less collaborative. I feel like the pandemic helped me in some sort of way, it had as many benefits as it did the opposite. And I don't think I would change it. I think I was glad to have the opportunity to live with my family like that for a while. I remember having Thanksgiving with my family, which is usually a very big holiday. Like we have people flying into town. It's like a very big thing. And for the first year ever, we had a just Thanksgiving with my family. Just my immediate family, which we have never done before. The turkey. I don't know if it caught on fire for a second. It was a Thanksgiving disaster. I think we ended up microwaving some pizza. It was fun. We had a lot of fun, especially since everyone's getting older. It was really nice to live in my family like that for a little bit, especially now that my brother moved back out. And it's nice. I feel like I wouldn't have had the opportunity to get as close to them as I did. There was one day when it was very early in the pandemic. I live kind of close to Boston. I'm up in Wakefield. They put in the stay at home order. And my dad wasn't working and he and I ended up driving around the coast, around Gloucester, just for the day just to kill time and stuff like that. And when we were driving, he was like “I really want a haircut. I haven't had the opportunity to get my haircut in so long.” So I told him, I was like, “I'll cut your hair that would be great.” And we got back and I asked him, because my dad's getting older and he is losing some hair, I was like “I'm wondering what you would look like if you were bald.” We weren't seeing anyone, so he shaved his head fully. I started shaving, at first we did a buzzer, and then I got shaving cream and we made him completely bald. That was probably one of the highlights of COVID. He looked scary. And he looked like Mr. Clean. It was good though. I thought it was funny. I think that was a good bonding experience between my family. Previous Next

< Back Katerina's Story Katerina’s reflection on how repeated experiences with her father’s and uncles’ cancer shaped her relationship with guilt, grief, and appreciating life. 00:00 / 03:53 Interviewer: Tell me about something that’s changed your perspective in life. Katerina: For me, there is no single event in my life that changed my perspective. It was rather a series of events. When I was in middle school, my dad was first diagnosed with cancer. My parents sent me away the weekend of his surgery. They didn't really want me exposed to what was going on. I always had the sneaking suspicion that something wasn't right. After I found out, I was upset with my parents that they didn't tell me. I know they were just trying to, like, protect me. What I knew about, it was the only thing they had control of still at the moment. Thankfully, my dad was okay. But he was not the only one in my life that was struggling with that. My Uncle, Tony, he had been diagnosed with cancer around the same time my dad was. He fought off for a long time, but then everything all at once seemed to come crashing down again. My uncle on my mom's side, my Uncle Vasili or my Uncle Billy, out of the blue, he had been diagnosed with a rare blood cancer. At the same time, my Uncle Tony's cancer had come back. And I remember visiting my Uncle Tony in Florida, and my mom had put him on the phone with my Uncle Billy so they could talk about their experience together. And neither of them knew each other very well. And I just remember them reassuring each other that each other would be okay and they are fighters and they would fight it together. Unfortunately, both of them passed on, and I just felt very stuck and I felt guilty. I hadn't been able to say goodbye to either of them, or I was so sure that they would be okay after that. I remember both of them fondly. I was just very upset that I wasn't able to not even attend the funeral for my Uncle Tony cause he was in Florida. And it was just a sad time with things that seemed to keep happening. Then this past summer, I took a big trip to Europe with my friends that lasted about five weeks. We hit five different countries and it was actually very fun. And I knew my parents would be upset when I told them because I'd never done much without them. But when I told them, my mom was particularly angry for a bit, but then she mellowed out and was saying things like, it's okay. You need to enjoy life and enjoy these moments because they're rare. So I went. When I came back, my dad asked me to go for a ride in the car with him. It was the middle of summer, right before my birthday. That was the car ride where he told me he was sick again. Now my mom's angry reaction and then her sappy things kind of made sense to me. He told me not to cry or be sad because I was a strong one and he would be okay. I remember I started to take more pictures of my dad, had a full head of black hair and it even survived his first round of cancer. So I started taking pictures, cause I want to remember what he looked like before things changed even more. So much changed, both with him physically and with things in my family dynamic. I noticed how weak and sick he was. My mom's tremendous levels of stress. When you told people how, like, pitiful they would be. I was forced to pay attention to my own guilt. I remember I felt guilty for even going on my trip, and I felt guilty for celebrating my birthday, and I felt guilty to even tell people, and then I felt guilty for coming back to school. I think my family was used to dealing and guilt. So much has happened in our past history with illness and death. It has become something I become accustomed to, feeling guilty for being happy and living life. While so many people are struggling, it's not easy to enjoy and remember that good things are still happening. I think that's changed my perspective on life, because while I had felt guilty for so long, no one wants anyone to feel guilty for enjoying things. It's not like their whole life was just this event. They had a whole history of good things that happened to them. And they want me to make those memories too. And my dad is okay now, thankfully. He had his surgery, and he is okay. Currently, as I'm about to graduate, very stressed about finding a job, very much in my head, um, about leaving my family. I need to remember not to worry so much about what could happen. I've learned to be very appreciative of every moment and life as I have it. Previous Next

< Back Mary's Story Mary, motivated by her retirement and the loss of her husband's sister, decided to run a breast cancer marathon in Jacksonville, Florida, which was something she’d never done before. She trained in Antigua, and when her race day approached, her husband warmly rallied up her nieces, daughter, and grandchildren to cheer her on with signs and bells, which gave her the final push to be able to push through to the finish line. She felt an intense sense of pride and joy crossing it, and it made the whole moment even more memorable and sweet, having her whole family beside her to celebrate. As she’s now approaching her 80s, she has sight of winning her age group in the half-marathon and running a 10k alongside her granddaughter. 00:00 / 03:16 Previous Next

< Back Mary Young's Story Mary Young describes, in an interview with Hellen Muma, the cast-off treasures she discovered as a kid—and how those experiences turned her into a life-long collector. She shares a lesson learned from Louis Armstrong’s white handkerchief and remembers a great-aunt who influenced her with the gift of a corrugated gift box. 00:00 / 02:19 So, I know you have a lot of collections, and you keep creating new ones. What are some examples and what made you become a collector? I remember really clearly we lived in a sorta like actually my father taught in a boys boarding school so we lived in a dorm and you would take ethe trash all the way down to the basement to put it in these bins and I was old enough to take the trash down I guess for my mother So i as taking the trash down I went down to the trash room and I saw all this stuff and there was an older couple who worked was on the faculty and they were downsizing and they had piles of stuff and I was immediately really interested in it that was my earliest memory of finding extraordinary things in the trash and I’ve never stopped ever since When I was going through my paternal grandmothers stuff Among all the other stuff I found was a box of buttons I mean some of them were really old some go back to the 19th century and some buttons from when my grandmother during world war 2 was a part of the red cross ambulance driver corps ya know outside of Boston she didn't drive ambulances really but for some reason these women trained for that there were just and there were buttons they came from all different types of people now just women but mostly women the family and ya know from generations of all different people and I think I was already collecting antique buttons and I kind of dumped everything together and I would come up with some buttons from my mother and I’d put those in there and to me it's like this ocean of family history particularly for me of women history and it just is like it all flowed together into this soup and i just love that ya know I have made some things with the buttons like I've decorated some pillows with them I was thinking of framing some maybe I'll do it maybe I won't It's such an immediate connection to generations of women and its different as if I just got something from a tag sale cause this actually had to do something with people in my family who knows what but that's one example of potentially thousands I can tell. Previous Next

< Back Lexie's Story 00:00 / 07:08 Previous Next

< Back Chad's Story Chad discusses his struggles in elementary school with learning disabilities and how it led him to the development of Sudbury Valley Schools and to the career path of community development. Chad talks about how important being a part of a community is, and how important it is to feel heard and respected in a group. 00:00 / 02:58 The first question that I have for you is: What was the most difficult part of school for you? You know again there was no special ed then, saying from the front of the room “Ok Chad what’s the answer to number 2? What’s two times nineteen” and I would get red in the face and now, all the other kids are whipping their heads around looking at me, so it was the kids too so. The hardest part was, I guess you would call it sticking out or the change, the change from fitting in and community, to sticking out as there’s something different here, what’s going on. You know, I was called lazy and a lot of those kinds of things until around 13 years old or something, when they diagnosed a bunch of learning disabilities. You know, it’s like any health diagnosis, somebody could take the diagnosis, let’s say alcoholism, they could take that and say “Oh my god I’m broken! This is never going to get better.” Other can take that diagnosis “Hey, now I know I need to watch out for this, how can I work on that.” So as soon as the mind makes that turn, that change, there is benefit. So, by the time I hit high school I had dropped out so, joining that new school in Framingham was the best thing that could have ever happened. I was accepted for who I was no matter what that small part of me was about. I was kind of, I guess you could call it sitting at the boundary. I was neither at the public high school nor at the prep school, but once I started that new school with the others, I was back in the arms of the community. I mean the Sudbury Valley School prepared me for being a member, you know, being someone who had something to give. “We want to hear from you, what’s your take on this, now what about yours.” And I think being a member of that warming school, and the specific model of the school formed a lot of the rest of my life. Previous Next

< Back Carol's Story Carol talks about her experience traveling to Europe her junior year of college after realizing that she needs to go out of her comfort zone. With support from her friend and her parents, this trip changes her perspective on the kind of person she wants to strive to be, for her career but mostly for herself. The European mindset is what influences her to do things that make herself feel whole like slowing down her day with journaling and yoga. This trip has inspired her to travel for nursing and even ignite the courage to solo trip alone someday. 00:00 / 03:22 Interviewer: Can you tell me about an experience that influenced your life a lot that you felt that you learned something? Carol: I went a trip abroad last year during the spring and before going on a trip abroad I never thought I could do anything like that just because I'm a homebody, I like my own friends and family. And it was a fall semester of my junior year. I realized that I really needed to go out of my comfort zone in order to grow just because I've been so used to being surrounded by my friends and not really branching out. So I decided mid fall to go and before that I was absolutely not going anywhere. I was just going to stay at UMass Amherst and something came over me. One of my friends said to me, you will never be this young and be able to travel the world again and I decided that I really should be able to do that and if I have the opportunity to I would be stupid not to take it. I got on my flight to Barcelona, it was January 11th, and I was so nervous. I remember the week before that, I was crying to my mom and dad. They just kept saying, you are going to have the time of your life. When you come back, you are gonna be a changed person. And I was just like, oh my God, they're not being serious. Like, I'm not gonna be a changed person. But they were right. I was with my two friends, which I know it's not really out of my comfort zone, but it's the best I could get. And we went to 11 different countries and we just traveled the world together and experienced all these different cultures, new friends, and the lifestyle there is quite different than here. It's really relaxed and laid back. There was a saying that I read that people here work to live, but in Europe, people live to work. I think that is so true. When I was there, people were on the street at 12pm, people would be out drinking coffee, enjoying their time with their friends and family. And here, you never really see anybody drinking coffee. They're mostly running to work, getting coffee for work or running back to work. And I really realized that I need to enjoy my life and I don't need to constantly be working, constantly be doing something that leads to work. I need to enjoy it. And these experiences are really what shaped me to who I am. Work won't shape me to who I am. Only the experiences do. So when I came back from abroad, I really decided to live my life and look at my life in a different perspective. I decided to do new things every day that I enjoyed. I tried to put more time for myself into my day-to-day life. And before that, I was just working, constantly doing homework, constantly doing something that will help my future. Even now, I still obviously do that, but now I do more things for myself. Like I meditate each morning. I go to yoga, I journal. And I realized that definitely helped me a lot to become a happier person, just because I saved more time for myself. And I also have gotten more out of my comfort zone. Like now I wanna do a trip alone. I also am going to travel nursing. So I would love to travel alone and work in a different hospital all by myself. I think exposing myself to a different culture and exposing myself to a different country all alone has definitely helped me get out of my comfort zone and try new things. Previous Next

Listen to hear Olivia share her experience taking a gap year after highschool and traveling overseas with a program called ARCC Gap Year. Olivia's Story Listen to hear Olivia share her experience taking a gap year after highschool and traveling overseas with a program called ARCC Gap Year. Olivia's Story 00:00 / 03:18 I had the idea in my junior year of high school. I didn't know what I was interested in. I mean, for a lot of people, I felt like they knew that they wanted to go to college. And I had another idea that I didn't know was another path for me. And so I thought of taking a gap year and not continuing my education right after high school. I really wanted to go to Thailand. I feel like something just sparked it in me. Second semester of my gap year, I went in the beginning of the pandemic. So I went with a program called ARCC Gap Year, and I went with a group and yeah, it was an amazing experience. I do have a special needs sister that makes it kind of challenging to travel. So I never went on really extravagant. vacations. I've only kind of stuck around like the New England area when we travel as a family. And so I think this was a big step for me being away from my family for the first time. And I think it was like the first ever like brave act that I've ever done in my life, especially at like a young age, I think I was 19. You kind of like put a lot of trust in yourself when you're traveling too. And like, since I went with a group, relying on those people that you're traveling with. I did have challenges with health problems a little bit so being able to speak your needs to the group and making sure that you're well, and you're taken into account for. I think I always knew that I wanted to do something that helped people in a way. But I didn't know exactly how I wanted that to look for me. When I went overseas, it translated there too. When I was in a different culture, being with a group especially, I found my sense of community with them and being able to trust them too along this journey and we're all there for like the same situation and same experience too like making memories and experiencing a different culture. And like learning along the way, like learning about a different culture. Yeah, so I think that really translated to when I was overseas. And yeah, I'm really glad I took that initiative to take that leap of faith too, especially. And I mean, I got so much opinions on my, what I was gonna do after high school and especially going out of like the norm of like not going to college right after high school. I got a lot of criticism, especially from family members too, about it. But I knew like within myself that I was doing the best thing for me and that, you only live one life and I think that you should experience all the things you want to experience in this life because you'd never know when a pandemic is going to hit! Previous Next

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< Back Jesse's Story, 2022 Jesse talks with Lauren about being wrongfully accused and sent to prison. He shares the lessons he learned during that difficult time. 00:00 / 04:41 “The toughest thing I went through was, when I was in college, I had a little run in with the law over a marijuana issue. When the whole thing started I was 18 years old. I was in college out in Western Pennsylvania. That particular town was under very, very right winged conservative area. They were down on drugs. I was accused of selling $15 worth of marijuana. And went to trial. It really should never even gone to trial. I mean they had no real evidence. There were four people in the room at the time it was supposed to have happened and three of them said it didn't happen, and one of them said it did. And they decided to believe that one person. I was the only one. I was pretty sure it was because I was Jewish and there a very strong anti-Semitic taint to the whole thing. So I was convicted. The judge said, as far as he’s concerned, selling drugs is as bad as murder. So he gave me the maximum sentence, even though it was my first offense. He gave me 3 years in prison. I didn’t take it seriously, I really didn’t think I was gonna go to prison. It just seemed so outrageous. My lawyer was taking an appeal then I got a call one day from my father and he said, the appeal fell through and you have to go to prison. So, I freaked out, I was 21 years old at the time. Really didn’t know what to expect. My first week there was very very scary. It was overcrowded, so they didn’t have room for me in the part of the prison where they first introduce people. So I was put in solitary confinement for a week, which was really not a lot of fun. I thought my life was over at that point. Prison is like hell. It’s like everybody’s there, it's full of anger and aggression, but I found some friends there, actually. There were several people there, that were there for drug related offenses, you know, marijuana. And we weren’t criminals, you know, we were just kids who got caught up in a system. Because I had friends, I was able to make it through. Could’ve gotten out in one year, but it didn't seem like that was gonna happen. They wanted me to repent and say that what I had done was wrong. I was adamant that I thought the drug laws were wrong. I didn't really repent and they took that as a mark against me. So I didn’t know how long I’d be in there. It was a hard thing. One of the things that got me through was, I had a girlfriend before I ended up there. She wrote me almost everyday. She would write me a letter like almost everyday, at least 5 or 6 times a week. And that really helped me make it through, getting those letters everyday, really lifted my spirits. It turned out that my father was really not very good. I went to prison because of him. He told me he had taken the appeals, but didn’t. He told the lawyer not to take the appeals. And that’s why I ended up going to prison, my own father. And I didn't find that out until later. My mother hired a lawyer from the national organization for the reform of marijuan laws and he told me, he says, “they never took the appeals, you had grounds for appeals but they never took it.” He applied for what's called, commutation, which is reeducation of sentence. My mother went to court and testified for me. One day I was about 8 months into my sentence and they called me up and said, “do you have a job for when you get out of prison?” I said, “what are you talking about? I’m not getting out for another 2 and half years.”And they said, “No, right here it says you’re getting out next month.” I said, “what?!” And sure enough the commutation had gone through and nobody had told me. I was released from prison after about 7 or 8 months. So I was really, really, happy about that. I was so excited. That day I got out I was so happy. I felt so good. It was like, okay, I made it through that. If I can make it through that, I can make it through anything. So I felt really confident, really good, and really proud of myself that I had made it through and I hadn’t turned bitter, and I hadn’t gotten worse. You know, like, I got out and went right back to school, got my degree and went on to graduate school. In some ways, prison helped me, I mean I would not recommend it to anybody, it wasn’t worth it, but it did help me. It did help me focus my life. I guess the main lesson I learned was that no matter how bad it gets, there is a way forward and there's a way out. Nothing bad lasts forever. I still feel that freedom I felt on the day I got let out, the strength I felt. I can still tap into that today. As bad as things get, they eventually end. Bad things don’t last forever and there’s a way through. That’s what I learned.” Previous Next

< Back Camille's Story Camille details her relationship with her siblings and the importance that they play in her life and how they have helped her get through her toughest challenges. 00:00 / 04:23 Growing up I went through a lot within my family, through so much of it I felt this large sense of loneliness and this feeling of having to do everything myself and always being alone. But then I realized I have the three most important people in my life standing right next to me the whole time. I have three siblings, who are very close to me in age. My oldest sister's name is Bella, she is currently 23 and she lives in the UK. My youngest sister's name is Josie, she is 20 and she is a sophomore here at UMass Amherst. Then I have a younger brother who is 17, he is a senior in high school. I think having siblings in my life has totally transformed who I am as a person. I think they are the best part of my life. Our parents got divorced which felt like my whole childhood, it felt like this ongoing struggle and battle in my life. So many times, I tried to shield my siblings from it, even though I wasn't the oldest child it always felt like my role in life for some reason. I spent so much time just fighting against things that were just expected to happen, that I feel like I almost lost a part of myself, and it made me have this overwhelming sense of loneliness. I think that has really impacted who I am as a person, and I also think it has led me to be the person I am and to always feel the need to help others or to empathize with other people. Interviewer: “I just so love hearing you talk about your siblings and your relationship with them and somehow there has to be natural sibling rivalry, but you guys do not let that get in the way.” Sibling rivalry thing, I don't know if this is a common theme of siblings but for us it was a lot worse when we were children. I felt like we were all on an equal playing field. I feel like as I have grown up, one of the reasons I first told myself I wouldn't be a doctor was because my older sister is one of the most intelligent people I've ever met in my life. I will commend her for that till the day she dies, she is one of my biggest inspirations in my life, and I feel like the reason why I try too hard to be a better person all around and better at school and better opportunity to connect with people is because of the way my older sister conducts herself. She is like that one person I will always reach out to for advice, we still have our daily phone calls. There was never a said rivalry between us, but I think her being so smart has always not necessarily weighed on me, but it has always been that factor that she is so smart, how can I be so smart… But I think over time I realized that there could be a million smart people in the world. And I think that's one of the reasons me and my siblings get along so well is because I think we each bring our own thing to the table. Even Thanksgiving dinner if we are not all there, something is missing. Separately we each have our own personality, our own ball of energy. As though they're so different from each other, I also feel like they're so similar. People always tell us “Have you guys realized you have the same exact mannerisms?” Like I guess we make the same motions with our hands when we speak. Every time I am with one of my siblings it is like wow you guys are identical. It's funny because I have red hair, my older sister has brunette hair, and my younger sister has blonde hair, so we are not identical in any way shape or form. But sometimes people really can't tell us apart from our mannerisms and the things we say. I think that is so true for us because even though I get to see my older sister two/three times a year now. I still am adapting to things she says, her mannerisms. My younger sister is adapting to both of ours and I just think it's so funny to watch us interact. Even if I do not get to talk to my siblings every day, they are still the biggest part of my life, and it shows in so many more ways than one. They are one thing in my life that makes me feel like it's possible to beat loneliness. Because I remember at any point in my life, even in high school, my loneliest moments, the moments when I was the saddest, like when your first boyfriend breaks up with you, I remember the first thing I think about is always like at least I always have them. They will never leave me. That really means more than the world, is that I can make the biggest mistake and no matter what I do in my life I will always have them. It is the best feeling. Previous Next