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< Back Pam's Story 00:00 / 03:48 My story is about resilience. I have learned at 65 years old that resilience is a process and not a personality trait. I really wish I had learned this when I was younger because I probably wouldn't have spent so much time being so judgmental and critical of myself. Resilience isn't about when something difficult happens in your life and you forget about it and move on. I was ignoring my feelings and stuffing all my emotions into a very dark place. Throughout my life, I've had some bad experiences, more than some people and less than others. I grew up in an abusive household, and it continued until my thirties. The parents were physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive. And because it was so bad, I blocked my knowledge of this even happening. Nightmares and flashbacks were my first clue that something was wrong. Your brain's ability to block memories works by protecting the psyche to help you survive. If I had actually known what was going on, I might have died. Something else that was very difficult in a different way was moving so many times. When I entered ninth grade, it was my seventh move. We moved every two to two and a half years. The dad was in office furniture sales, and we went where he went. This was really hard on me because I would move, meet new friends, then move again, lose those friends, and meet new ones. It was a constant cycle of change. I couldn't depend on anything, so I have very few memories of that time as well. Again, my my brain blocked what was going on. Another way I dealt with the dark inside me was by being a serious athlete in high school, college, and adult athletic programs. I swam, ran, and participated in triathlons. I would recommend to anyone that being an athlete is a good way to spend time, so it's not bad by itself. But hindsight, I was totally running away from my feelings. Again, it was a way for my brain to block terrible memories. And then as an adult, I've experienced many physical issues, including an eating disorder, migraines, TBIs, Parkinson's disease, and a back injury. Only in the last six months have I understood how resilient I am. But the good news is that through this back injury, I've been able to feel both the physical and emotional pain. I started working with a pain management expert out of the Boston, Massachusetts area. People in severe pain tend to make their lives very small by staying at home, not seeing people, not learning new things, or not moving the body. If I shut down my pain and live a small life, it makes my pain worse. I'm not telling you this story to complain. This is a story about how I've been able to look back on my history and learn what it takes to be resilient. I am now making my life bigger by doing small things like playing the guitar, taking singing lessons, and working a part time job as a dragon boat team coach manager. I try to shine a light on my pain to help open it up and heal. I use music, meditation, breathing techniques, and body scans to calm myself down and to be in the present moment. But most importantly, the only way you can heal physically and emotionally is to make the choice that the pain is real. Previous Next

< Back David's Story, 2024 David shares stories of his experience with the start of the pride parade in Northampton, MA. 00:00 / 03:51 David: Yeah. I was around nineteen eighty or 81, I think, and I was only preferably involved with the the planning of the march. But I was involved with a a group of of gay men that, we formed it because at that time, the only local groups were either lesbian groups or UMass. Taylor: Mhmm. David: And it was college age. And this is an era of especially in Northampton, there was, like, sort of a separatist thing. A lot of lesbians, you know, did not wanna have anything to do with gay men. So, in our organization, we had people that wanted to be in this first March, but, a lot of them were social workers or teachers or you know, they even worked in local businesses. And at that time, they would lose their jobs if it was done. So, what they did, and we didn't think about what it would mean at the time, but these, people wore bags over their heads, you know, with the eyes cut out so they see where they're going. But that became like something that a lot of people remembered about that first March. And so, I haven't forgotten that. Then I remember the second year that we had it, there had been a number of death threats. And at that time, there was a feminist bookstore on one of the side streets downtown in North Hampton, and, they'd received, arson threats. And, so when we were, in our parade, at that time, we had to go, like, a certain route. We the jail the county jail still used to be in Northampton sort of downtown area. And so, we had to go by that, and we had to go by the police station. So, but I remember looking up and seeing police sharpshooters up on the buildings as we went by. That was pretty scary. Yeah. Taylor: That has to be scary. David: Yeah. And we had, the first number of years for the parade, we had what we called peacekeepers, and it was people that would march on either side of the parade to you know, in case there was gonna be some trouble or something. And, of course, there were police around and everything. But I remember that one of the local fundamentalist churches standing in front of or next to city hall holding up a coffin because this was during AIDS and everything too, and, you know, with signs and stuff like that. So that was the kind of stuff we had to put up with. Horrible. Taylor: Was your experience with the pride parade ultimately very positive? David: Yeah. It might be hard for some people, especially if they're not part of a group that is kinda marginalized, to feel the power of all that of being there. And then as the years went on, it sort of became an event that people knew was going to happen, you know, one of the first Saturdays in May. And so there would be some years, there were, like, tens of thousands of people Yeah. Downtown. So, it's just like this big celebration, and it was very empowering. Previous Next

< Back Francesca's Story Follow Francesca as she shares her spiritual journey as a follower of Saint Francis of Assisi, inspiring her devotion to uplifting others around her while spreading love. 00:00 / 03:47 Julia: “What person or entity in your life has been the most influential for you?” Francesca: “For me, I grew up in a difficult family, but a friend invited me to go to church with her and they taught us how to become followers of Saint Francis of Assisi, and he became the most important and most influential person to me. It was fortunate that I had that happen to me, just by chance it seemed like.” Julia: “Do you want to talk a little bit more about the process of finding him as that influential person or kind of what he meant to you?” Francesca: “Well I had already had my first communion. I had gone through all the training and the catechism and everything, but none of it meant anything in my heart. And after my first communion I was attending a church that was a national monument, that was gorgeous. You walk in and there’s paintings all over the ceiling, and everybody went because it was such a beautiful church and everybody went to show off their clothes. And I didn’t know what I was doing there, you know? And then my girlfriend said, you know, come to my church you’re gonna like my church, it’s fun, we have the beat music, guitars and everything. So I decided start going over to her church. And when I went, at first I said why are there no paintings, there was nothing, you know, there was nothing. And they said ‘It’s a Franciscan church and Saint Francis wanted the churches to be simple.’ And then they said ‘You can come on Friday afternoon, we teach all about Saint Francis.’ So I went on Friday afternoon, and they would teach us all about Saint Francis, and then they would teach us about the problems we were facing today - how would he tackle that? And we would have to go home and do homework and bring it back the next Friday. And then after we worked all together as a group, after we worked, then we would have time in the courtyard and it was a beautiful, beautiful courtyard. And we would have time to play. And they were teaching me, then I understood finally. So Saint Francis became my ladder to God, because before I hadn’t gotten any of it, you know? It was all up here, but it wasn’t in my heart. I couldn’t find a consistent church near me, so I go to a Congregational church. It's important to me to be able to serve and to be able to belong. So I started going, and I started serving, and it's important to me, and it's also important that Saint Francis always had to uplift the least of the least, you know, always make sure that you can help them. Like if they’re homeless, whatever. Help them. Help them. Help them, you know? Don’t leave people stranded behind, you know? So that was really important to him, and it was important that we stop reading the Bible, stop reading all the books, and do it. Get out there and do it. So that was really big for him. So I try to be as active as I can. Whether its part of my church or not, I try to. If I see someone who is homeless, I stop and talk about whatever they want to talk about. Saint Francis became really meaningful to me, he made sense to me, for love to exist. For love to be the most important part of living your life." Previous Next

< Back Pat's Story Pat speaks about her journey in Little Falls, Minnesota. Here, she went on a profound healing journey and learned the power of forgiveness. While in Little Falls she met a special friend who showed her what she had been longing for. 00:00 / 04:43 So this was a bit of my experience at Little Falls. Every day in the time I was there, there was profound healing experiences, there was all kinds of exercises some would say exercisims ya know where I went back and new relations to my parents wrote letters to them from me and to them umm and I felt like okay Ive done this already ya know I have gone through all the hell of my childhood. Was this really worth the airfare? Um well as it turns out it really was okay so after I wrote letters about my rage and hurt I wrote letters from them to me explaining why they were such a mess and why they were such awful parents and that was a killer I could begin to really understand how miserable their lives were the empathetic ya know writing these letters was very powerful at the end of it we had a big ceremony to burn all of the letters letting them go, watching the ashes rise float away which was providing us with a bit of healing and a chance of freedom I hope. So after breakfast, we got our coats on and we were asked to line up outside no explanation of why the sisters who lived there the residents came out and walked our line, handing each of us two red carnations cynicism was creeping into my mind our assignment this was so weird was to walk in a line all 30 of us in silence to a cemetery that was on the property and once we got to the gate of the cemetery we were to disperse and find graves that might have been those of our parents whether they were actually alive or dead we would lay down our carnations and say a final goodbye okay for some reason this struck me absolutely ridiculous, ludicrous and as I watched the 29 other walk into this vast catholic cemetery to find their parents quote on quote parents graves I refused to participate I was rebelling enough already Ill show they I just stand here after some time I have no idea how long I got bored standing there along and decided to walk in and wonder amid the graves I hadn't walked 100 feet when I looked down and what I saw in this catholic cemetery in this monastery were 2 gravestones side by side with Jewish stars this was too weird to be a coincidence so I stopped I knelt down for a closer look and something broke in me something big it was like flood gates opened as I started to do as I was told and say goodbye and complete my assignment I started to sob I mean serious unstoppable sobs like years and years of sobs and as the tears fell on my carnations I felt such deep sadness for them, my parents, for me for lost opportunities for all those years I felt really sad my mother had died young at 60 well before I had developed any understanding of her pain and the loneliness that caused her behavior and Id never be able to tell her I understood and was sorry for my contributions to that I never had a chance to tell her I really loved her I have no idea how long I stood there sobbing years and years when suddenly I felt this very gentle arm around my shoulder a gentle touch which brought me back and I looked up to see that tiny frail indian women in her street clothes who looked to me for support earlier that week holding me with a beatific smile on her face she gently helped me up and held me for a few moments she said she'd been worried when she didn't see me back at the house and became worried for me And as she held me and she stroked my hair I'm crying just thinking about it and told me that she loved me and in that moment I experienced unconditional love for the first time and I understood that above all else thats what id been weeping for. Previous Next

< Back Betsy's Story Betsy talks with Brenda about a spontaneous trip that changed her life. She talks about her wonderful experiences and a noteworthy figure that she meets on this trip. Returning from her trip, she decides to pull inspiration from her time away when opening a small store in Northampton. 00:00 / 04:58 Previous Next

Freeman remarks on his decision to retire and how retiring has allowed him to grow as a person and start new things after his career. He later elaborates on the ultimate goals and appreciations he has for his life and his message for others when considering the path of their own life: “think of the long ride, not the short journey.” Freeman's Story Freeman remarks on his decision to retire and how retiring has allowed him to grow as a person and start new things after his career. He later elaborates on the ultimate goals and appreciations he has for his life and his message for others when considering the path of their own life: “think of the long ride, not the short journey.” Freeman's Story 00:00 / 04:39 I’ve been retired amazingly since 2013. It was really easy for me, I mean the part that was. First of all, I was really ready to retire. I turned 65. I was going to retire. Principal asked if I would stay another year just to help with transition. I was happy to do that. But I knew that I wanted to do other things. I loved what I was doing. I loved the students. Great way to end my career. But I was ready. I wanted to try other things because my father died at the age I am now. You know you never know how long you have. I was healthy and I wanted to take advantage of that. So fortunately as a teacher in a public school you have a pension. And that made it possible for me to retire. It was easy, and I had a long list of things that I wanted to do. So I started to study Yiddish. I started to teach myself guitar. I started playing chess. I started playing tennis indoors which I had never done before. And I was doing some consulting. So I was plenty busy and I joined the Northampton Arts Council, cause I wanted to contribute to the community in which I lived, not just the community which I had previously worked. And when I was looking at possibilities and things to volunteer for, I was looking at different committees and councils. I noticed that the head of the arts and culture department was a guy named Brian Foot and Brian Foot was a student that I had when I was teaching at Chestnut Middle School in Springfield in the 6th grade. And so that made it even more appealing to get to connect with Brian who was a wonderful young man in 6th grade and now has contributed a great deal to Northampton Arts Scene. It was good to be a part of that for a few years. I am still doing similar kinds of work because I joined an organization called Friends of Northampton Trails and part of the work that we are doing is to promote arts in the neighborhoods in Northampton so that feels good. Right now, I am the secretary, so one of the things I do is take minutes which in some ways is a good thing because taking minutes at least for me means I can’t talk as much so I have to listen better. So that always is a good thing to practice. What I am aware of is that this is a good time for me to spend more time listening. You know I think the most important thing is just being more attentive to what’s around me. Just having an awareness of my environment and not always being active but sometimes just being an observer, just appreciating, just being able to slow down instead of waking up at 5:45 and getting to work by 6:30 or just living more slowly. Looking at the news, playing chess puzzles, and then being able to just have the days evolve. You know that’s such a privilege to be able to do that. And really of all the things that upset me, the fact that I am aware that so many people don’t have this. And I have health, you know so. Being healthy. Having a loving partner. Having loving children who want to be involved in our lives. There’s not that much that I really need. You know I am one of the fortunate people, I mean its crazy that people who are not wealthy, like we are not wealthy, but I have, I had a pension. Its crazy that people don’t have that, and can live a reasonable life. I can’t do whatever I want. I can’t travel the world. I can’t buy anything I want, but I don’t need any of that. I’m fine. And life can be good. You know, I mean I think in times like this when the world seems to be spiraling in so many different crazy ways, its good to know that not everything is damaged. And that the most important thing is being able to expand the number of people who experience that. To live a good life, a quality of life where you are not just working. Life should not be just about work. I mean that’s not what we are here for to do. It’s about caring for each other you know and appreciating the diversity around you. And I am one of the lucky people who have been able to get to that point. And I hope that I can be able to continue it. For me the intention is, is good things ahead. Just take care of yourself. Think of the long ride, not the short journey. Previous Next

Gail's Story Gail's Story 00:00 / 04:26 Well, two of the most important people are Harold and Eleanor Chase. They lived across the street from us when our kids were young. They were in their late seventies. They became our third set of grandparents. Mrs. Chase used to make rolls every Thursday for the kids so they’d pop out of the oven and my children would enjoy eating them sitting on the steps. And Mr. Chase used to save cereal boxes and he would cut all of the colors out of the cereal boxes and he would use them to make cards for our children. If their birthday came, they would open up the mailbox and take out an envelope. And when they opened the envelope, out popped Mickey Mouse holding a dollar! And he would do different characters and it was really very meaningful to them. Mr. Chase was a retired carpenter before the Depression came. He always was interested in doing something. So he helped us, refinish our attic area for a bedroom. He was so exact that he could count out the exact number of nails he would need to do his job. He asked if he could put a roof on our house at one time. And in order to put supports for him to kneel on, he took coffee can and he flattened it out and put it up under the roofing tile. And he then put a piece of wood that he hammered on there so that he could lean on it. So he was very creative. Now they owned a trailer and they would take their trailer to Rocky Neck Beach in Connecticut. They left their trailer for us for two weeks. so we could go and enjoy it. And we had quite a good time with the children. They were always doing things for us. They were most important because of their giving of themselves, especially to our children. Mr. Chase sat on the curb with my son and taught him to read fluently at age four years of age. He and his wife were, they were a good pair. He would go up on his roof to fix the roof and his wife would stand on her porch outside and bless herself or genuflect because she was afraid at 80 years old he was gonna fall off the roof. Now they have impacted our life, my life, and my husband's, and their warmth was contagious. We became close friends, very close friends with them and later helped them in times of need. He gave me the key to his house and he showed me where all of his important papers were and where he kept his money. And after his wife had died of Alzheimer's and he had taken care of her, he said to me, ‘I have done in life what I've needed to do. I will not live much longer.’ So he had told me that to check his porch and within two weeks, I would see the paper was still on it. And I of course said to him, oh, you're gonna be fine and we're gonna help you. Well, in two weeks, the paper was on his porch. I went into his house and found him in his cellar - he had had a stroke and he was still alive, but…not very much. So I called the ambulance and the police and he was airlifted to a hospital in Worcester where he spent the next maybe two weeks and he died. For me, he and she were the most important friends in my life. And I would like to see, in this day and age, I would like to see a lot more Mr. and Mrs. Chase's as neighbors, they were perfect. Previous Next

< Back Ali's Story Ali speaks to Joan about her journey of being adopted. She talks about her mom and her sister and how they became a family. She speaks on how knowing a brief background of her biological family gives her some comfort. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 03:28 Yeah so I was adopted when I was 1 year old I think at the time my mom was living with my sister in Hong Kong and the adoption agency had sent her photos of a few children so she sorta got to see them and she could pick which one she wanted which sounds really weird but those are just the children who are available for adoption at the time and she ended up choosing me who knows why but here I am and when everything was final she actually flew down to Vietnam to bring me home everything was pretty much facilitated through the embassy so she had a lot of help in bring me home and it wasn’t too strenuous just for herself she was actually able to meet my birth parents which is something that a lot of people don’t can't really say that their biological parents and their adoptive parents met in person and yeah she met my mom and dad and she tells me that my birth parents couldn’t keep me anymore because they didn’t have the funds to feed me and my mom was crying and my dad was just kind of there but just knowing that is really special because a lot of kids once again they don’t have that they don’t have that memory so my mom said that I have multiple siblings so I guess I was just the one kid that wasn’t able to be fed at the time so it's interesting to know that I have like other siblings out there and my mom also has a photo of me and my biological mom of just her carrying me which is kind of crazy cause I don't know my sister is also adopted from Vietnam just from the south and she doesn’t have any recollection of like anything from her history I think these little details definitely changed the way i feel about adoption in comparison with other adoptees cause many adoptees get left behind you know left at a door step something like they they don't have any memories but there biological parents can say they know and my sister she's also adopted like I said and she was given up right after birth so she doesn't know anything about who her family is or how many siblings she had or anything like that and I think the fact that my family tried to take care of me for like a year was sort of reassuring that I was cared for its something that I am grateful for and other adoptees can't say that they have that same experience and they live their life not knowing what their birth parents truly thought of them which can very it can be stressful and impact their life so just knowing I was cared for was really important for me Previous Next

< Back Janice H's Story Janice tells a story about a memorable photograph she took while visiting a village in Liberia, Africa. The story is a snapshot of the Liberian bush in 1972. 00:00 / 04:42 My husband and I traveled all over the world, and one of the times that I I remember very well is my time in West Africa in Liberia. When we lived in the in the bush, twelve hours from the capital city, my husband was building a five mile farm to market road, so he couldn't get off too much time to take me anywhere. But I had a friend in the Peace Corps, so he said he was gonna walk me up to this town that was very pretty and very traditional. So, Frank, Frank, the Peace Corps volunteer, and I, drove up, my husband's road, and then Frank and I got out and walked about an hour into the jungle, up a really, steep path. And Frank pointed into the water, and there were these huge catfish swimming on the gravel bottom. And I said, great. Let's catch one of these fish and eat it. And Frank said, no, no, you can't do that. These are their totem. They are the ancestors of the village we're going to see. So we kept climbing up to the top of this mountain, and we got to the top, and there were about 80 huts sitting on carefully swept red soil, and a gang of children were attracted by our sudden appearance, and they ran to call the chief who came, and he was a very nice man, and he took us into the village to his house. Frank had always brought something with him for these poor villages. Well, this time, we had a conical paper filled with salt, which was a very good present. And so, the chiefs shook our hands, and an old man came, tottering on spindly legs, and he was barefoot, and he had a little tiny chair that he sat down and sat on, and then another old man appeared with his traditional short chair, and he sat down, and the chief gave them the salt, and then the chief said, there's an old man who makes medicine for the village, and he has and that point, one of the old men taught it away and came back with a baseball shaped object wrapped in leaves, which was delicious pork meat. And knowing that the people of the villages never had much meat, I said to Frank, we can't accept this. And Frank said, oh, we have to accept it. So we accepted it. And then I said, can I take some pictures? And the chief said, sure. And I took pictures of him. I took pictures of the old man. And then the chief said, I'd like you to take a picture of the old man who made the medicine. So we went to his house, a little a little house, and there was an ancient man with a wispy mancho style beard hobbled into this, into the sunlight. And he sat on his little low chair, and he had a he had a mixing bowl, a wooden bowl in his hand, and he showed us how he made the medicine. And I said, oh, oh, can I take a picture? And they said, sure. And they immediately switched his little tribal chair for a regular size wooden chair. And the old man's wife hurried up with this huge World War two great coat, which the old man put over his sarong. And he sat on this chair looking very proper, but I couldn't afford to miss this shot. So, I took very careful, couldn't afford to miss this shot. So, I took very careful aim. Now, when I took pictures in the bush, most people didn't even want their pictures. This old man was different. He said, please, could I bring him the finished product? And I explained to him that the film I was using was slide film, and I'd have to send it way across the ocean to my mother, and it would take a long time. She would have to have the slides made, and then she would have to send it all the way back to me. And I said I was so sorry, but it might be a long, long time before I could bring it back. And the old man took my hand in his tough calloused ones and looked to my into my eyes as he spoke. It does not matter how long it takes to accomplish the thing I asked, he said. I am old, old man, and soon, my time will come to leave this village and the life I know. But if God comes before you return, I will tell him, God, I am sorry. I cannot go yet. I am waiting for my picture. Previous Next

< Back Charlie's Story Charlie recounts his rich experience traveling the world, and what he has learned from a lifetime of travel. He discusses the importance of how traveling helps us experience and help better understand other cultures, and how the individuals of these cultures shape his experiences. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 04:58 So to start out, I wanted to ask you to tell me about your travels throughout your life. Oh, totally I've been we've been very lucky with the chances to travel widely and a number of ways. We've traveled in Europe and Southeast Asia, Australia, New Zealand. And we traveled by boat and we travel by plane to some places that folks don't likely get to. So we've been very lucky. What what we started doing was bareboat chartering. And so we go down with friends and charter a boat for a week and poke around. And then we got to know some folks down there. And that led to a number of trips that took us to quiet little places that were very special. Yeah, what places did you end up visiting? Well, the some of the most interesting those days were in the Bahamas, which is not far from Florida. The Bahamas, or that's an earring because that a lifestyle is a very simple one and tied closely to the water. So people fish and people say, Oh, it's a much less complicated life.Each culture has its own defining food preferences, but so it becomes a question of which your pleasure artists are buried. So when you hurt Italy, I remember, we literally he took us out into the countryside of his place, and we'll probably had five or six courses. And in between each course, there was a different pasta dish. So oh, you could Oh, the pasta, trouble. And other cultures that fish can be defining, particularly in the islands where the fresher, fresh and wonderful. And and then of course, there's always the wind to wash it down with that makes that compliments of me also. It's all fun. Some of the places that we went to, as I say, we traveled around the world. And it's you, you realize when you travel that, wow, the architecture and the historic ask aspects are interesting. It's the people that make the difference. And so we'd always try and somehow connect with local folks wherever we were. And that made it especially nice. It was interesting because you can read forever about different cultures but until you talk to the people, while you're there isn't really illuminated and and so the people flesh out the sense you have the culture. So I know that it is it's clear that you've had a lot of time spent traveling and going throughout different places in the world. I definitely want to be able to travel more in my future and so I was curious if you had any advice for me for my future travels. The only advice I would give as a general advice that remember that traveling in my view is about the opportunity to meet people and focus on people lose much this the charm with the area and look food and all the reasons that it's appealing. Previous Next

< Back Candace D's Story Come listen to Candace’s story about her experience afinding her partner Gary and moving to Peru and living abroad. Through her story, Candace reflects on how living abroad allowed her to break free from her past and go on the adventure she had always wanted when she was little. 00:00 / 05:48 I was born in Princeton New Jersey in December of 1949. Unfortunately, I was born to very [inaudible] parents. As a child I always hoped that one day things would change. And then I remember very distinctly standing in my bedroom, I was 8 or 9, 10 years I old. I’m thinking, it’s not gonna change. It is just not going to change. But then I realized, cause I had older siblings who had left home. But one day it will, because I will leave home too and I cn change my life then. And that was, important for me. It was 1969, and I met this guy through my friend Terry. He had the kindest eyes, and he had a demeanor which a friend of mine in town here says he still has. He was very calm but he was just very caring and you felt like he was actually seeing you and hearing you. He originally had been from Long Island. His father had been in the schmatta trade, which means dressmaking trade if you don’t know the term, very New York term. And his Gary Drimmer. His parents had moved when he was eleven to Peru and he had gone to, finished up middle school gone to the equivalent of high school. In Spanish. By choice. Because he wanted to learn the foreign language. Well, we dated some, it wasn’t really serious but there was some connection and so when he left he said “I’ll write you,” and I thought right. At that point in my life I had learned that young men tend to lie a lot too. And they might mean to do things but they don’t always. So, we actually started writing and over the next three years we wrote letters, over a thousand of them. They were really the best way to get to know somebody. Because there was no interaction of you know sitting in the backseat of a car and what happens with that. So, it was more what was in your head. I mean he would talk about books he was reading. I would talk about issues I was having with my parents all the time which just was constant. I was really upset when he wrote me a letter that he was four years, four months younger and that he was Jewish. It was Jewish, didn’t bother me. The first boy I loved in fifth grade was Jewish. But you know it was like, “You were four months younger than me!” I felt like I was robbing the cradle. Which of course was hardly that. We continued to date each other during those 2 and a half of the three years until we decided okay, we got together he came back, up to the states and couple times and we got together then. Then we said, okay this is more serious than dating other people. Gary’s father writes, and there’s some, a lot of the letters are in there and asks, negotiates with Gary to come down to Peru to help him with the business he has, which is failing. Peru is a mess, it’s under a dictatorship and had been. And Gary negotiated, “Fine, but Candace has to come down with me and you can’t be saying anything about it.” Well, Gary’s parents were very very progressive, let me put it this way. They smoked pot with Gary in Peru, so that, I mean they’re dead no one can yell at them now. But I said “Oh my god! This is great!” So, we decided in late ‘71 I was gonna go down to Peru after I finished college in May at the University of Georgia. I got my first passport. I went to the library and got a bunch of books on Peru. Started reading about history. And I told my parents I was moving to Peru. Well, they couldn’t stop me I was 21, and turned 22 at the same, around the same time. So, in June of 1972, I left the United States with a passport in one hand and no idea what was gonna happen in the other. I mean, my father said, “You’re going to hell, and I won’t drive you to the airport”. My friends thought I was insane. “How do you know this guy?” “What do you know of this guy?” That kind of thing. But I felt I was doing the right thing. It was just like, the round peg into the round hole, I knew where I was, and this felt right. I got to Peru very early in the morning. After a long airline flight. Six months later we got married in a civil ceremony cause my parents refused to come to the religious one. And I was in the process of converting to Judaism with the only rabbi in the country. So, I learned, it was very lonely to be on your own, but I also learned that I am good at reaching out to people. And I learned to network with people. I would, if somebody invited me over for a cup of tea I might stay as long as they would let me stay in their house and pump their brain and try to get to know them. I really insinuated myself into people’s lives. I do remember things that I did, and it’s almost embarrassing but at the same time nobody ever said can’t you get out of my house, they understood, they all had been new at one point. So, I got to say I loved living abroad. It was the adventure that I had always wanted. I wanted adventure. I knew that. I also hated it at times. It was the biggest challenge. It grew me. It gave me the strength that I wasn’t raised with. It taught me I have more resources than I ever thought, and I loved ex-pats. Even the ones that I wouldn’t have spoken to for more than 5 minutes in the states. Because there was such a diversity of opinions, viewpoints, “lunch should be at 11:30, no 3 O’clock in the afternoon is early enough are you kidding?” I mean the world was just different. 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