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< Back Susan's Story Susan Martins (77) talks with a friend, Catherine Grella (21) about her travels to Italy and Israel in her early 20s, which she considers the highlight of her entire life. 00:00 / 03:08 Well, I'd always wanted to travel and I always wanted to go to Italy, and I had $2,000, but this was in 1969, and $2,000 went a lot farther in those days. And I found a little pencion which was in a perfect location. It was a block from the Arno, but it was in a very great place. It was like the best place to be in Florence, and I just explored Florence while I was there. I had never really thought about going to Israel because while I was born Jewish, I really didn't know anything about Israel except while I was living there. I read a book by Bruno Bettelheim, a psychologist, and it was about the Kabutz system in Israel, and I found it fascinating. And I felt like I wanted to go there. And in about January, I guess, I went to Israel. This was weird. It was the middle of the night when the plane landed in the airport in Tel Aviv, and I was sitting there waiting because the shuttle buses didn't go in to tell of the evening till six or seven in the morning. So I was just sitting, waiting. This plane came in and this bunch of people got off the plane and they started bending down and kissing the street. And then they came into the airport. They couldn't believe that they were there, and they were kissing the floor in the airport. And it turned out that they were Polish Jews who had survived the Holocaust. They were immigrating to Israel and they'd never been there before. And they walked in and to them it was coming home. At that time, I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I wanted to go to a Kabutz. And there's an office in Tel Aviv that sends volunteers from all over the world to volunteer on a Kabutz. And you work in the fields, or I worked in the laundry, ironing pants for months, but I also worked in the grapefruit fields, and I worked pruning plum trees at one point, and one point they assigned me this Kabutz, had a fruit stand on the road that the Kabutz was up the hill from. They put me there to work because a lot of tourists spoke English. Somebody said, are you Israeli? And I said, no, I'm American. And they said, you look as if you were born here. You look just like an Israeli, and it's wonderful to meet you. And I felt like I had come home, and I felt as if it was my country. That was the weird thing that I had never thought about Israel. I didn't really feel like a Jewish person, but I felt as if that was where I was from and it was really power. Previous Next

< Back Janet's Story Janet gives voice to her late older brother Jay and recalls the significant impact he has had on her early life and professional career despite struggling in his adolescence and growing up in a time where it was unlawful to be self assured about your homosexuality. This is a story about love and loss but touching upon hope in freedom of self expression in culture today. 00:00 / 03:57 I was born in 1943. Yes, I'm going to be 80 years old. A middle child and a working class post World War II family near Flushing, New York. My older brother named after my Father William Henry Ruloff Nelson Jr was a quiet, deeply sensitive and highly intelligent boy. During those years the 1940s and the 1950s baseball. Mom's at home waiting to put supper on the table for their working husbands was part of the American dream and I lived in a little area in Queens where people's families were very very much devoted to fulfilling that post World War II American Dream. My Brother Jay as we called him did not fit in. He wrote poetry, read deeply and spent a great deal of time alone. Even as a very girl I knew Jay, four years older was different. As he and I grew to adolescence he began to be teased by the other boys on the Block. As we played baseball, Jay kind of withdrew into his room quietly. In his early teens I knew there was trouble my parents talking behind closed doors. Those were years when words like homosexuality were never spoken out loud it was illegal and immoral. With all that he was struggling with as an adolescent, Jay had time and made time but to always be my big brother. In a family overwhelmed by illness, financial issues, and emotional stress, he introduced me to poetry and to literature. As he grew, his friendships of bright enthusiastic gay boys I became a focus of their energy. Surrounded by them I went to my first opera. When my brother moved out when I was 16, his apartment on the Lower East Side of Manhattan became my second home arrested from my own. His life was not easy despite his high intelligence and a full scholarship to Princeton University, he dropped out of college unable to reconcile the emotional stress that marked those years. My course was different. At each juncture of my growing professional life, it was my brother who championed my success and kept me motivated when I questioned my own abilities. My doctoral dissertation was dedicated to him. In 1982, Jay showed the early signs of AIDS. The years ahead were marked with anxiety and fear. We talked honestly and after 4 years we knew he was dying. I saw him 36 hours before he died at the age of 46. I read a favorite poem of his, Edna St. Vincent Millay at my younger son's wedding. A piece of it is “love in the open hand, no thing but that; ungemmed, unhidden, wishing not to hurt.” Like my brother it's a poem about the freedom and the trappings of love. My son's daughter's middle name is Jay, named after him. Over these past decades, I've watched with amazement and joy at the changes in our culture. I often find myself smiling as I think about how Jay’s life would have been had he had such freedom and affirmation. Previous Next

< Back Jenna's Story 00:00 / 04:14 Previous Next

< Back Title You can get more out of your site elements by making them dynamic. To connect this element to content from your collection, select the element and click Connect to Data. Once connected, you can save time by updating your content straight from your collection—no need to open the Editor, or mess with your design. Add any type of content to your collection, such as rich text, images, videos and more, or upload a CSV file. You can also collect and store information from your site visitors using input elements like custom forms and fields. Collaborate on your content across teams by assigning permissions setting custom permissions for every collection. Be sure to click Sync after making changes in a collection, so visitors can see your newest content on your live site. Preview your site to check that all your elements are displaying content from the right collection fields. Ready to publish? Simply click Publish in the top right of the Editor and your changes will appear live. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 01:04 You can get more out of your site elements by making them dynamic. To connect this element to content from your collection, select the element and click Connect to Data. Once connected, you can save time by updating your content straight from your collection—no need to open the Editor, or mess with your design. Add any type of content to your collection, such as rich text, images, videos and more, or upload a CSV file. You can also collect and store information from your site visitors using input elements like custom forms and fields. Collaborate on your content across teams by assigning permissions setting custom permissions for every collection. Be sure to click Sync after making changes in a collection, so visitors can see your newest content on your live site. Preview your site to check that all your elements are displaying content from the right collection fields. Ready to publish? Simply click Publish in the top right of the Editor and your changes will appear live. Previous Next

< Back Stephanie C's Story 00:00 / 03:40 Previous Next

< Back Luke's Story Luke shares a story about his uncle Peter who is a Carthuegen Monk in Slovenia. He talks about his personal relationship with Peter and how Peter inspires him in his own life. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 04:43 I’m discussing my uncle Peter who is a Carthuegen Monk in Slovenia, which is a very small country just on the northern tip of Italy, and he’s been there for probably about 30 years and he will be almost 70 now he's in his mid to late 60s. To give a little background I guess on the setting it’s a very beautiful place Slovenia and especially where he is. One of my uncles once said that Slovenia is Europe’s best kept secret. It’s got rolling hills, and lots of vineyards. It’s a very picturesque place. Speaking on my personal relationship with him, I’ve met him three times, but the last two are pretty impactful on me I would say. He’s a very interesting character and someone I do think I admire a great deal. I met him when I was 10. I went with my father and I don’t remember a lot from that trip because that was 12 years ago at this point, but I do know that after that trip took place we started writing to each other, and we kept a correspondence consistently for the last 12 years. Peter’s a really great guy, a very joyful guy. I think it’s interesting because his characteristics or his personality goes against what a lot of people would consider a Monk to have. He’s very energetic. He’s very joyful. He’s talkative. Perhaps some of that has to do with the fact that he seeing family and he doesn’t get a chance to do that very often, but it did surprise me meeting him last year, because there is so much energy and passion and just brightness about him that I wouldn’t necessarily had pictured a monk having. Most of the time we stayed in the guest house, and just shared meals together and shared stories, but we did on one day go out. We left the monastery, and we, went into one of the popular towns, sat by a river, which it seemed almost like a beach club. There were restaurants and canoes you could rent and things like that. So we did that, we had a great time, and then went and got food at McDonalds. He was really happy I think to get a taste of America in a long time. There are stories, he’s told us stories about being rebellious even as a monk and what he’s, I guess expected to do. You are not supposed to leave the monastery. They have a weekly walk that they take together, but beyond that, they are only supposed to leave to go to doctor’s appointments to dentist appointments or something that’s really mandatory that they have to leave the cloister for. But, he tends to break away a little more if he can. I don’t think what he does I could do. It’s a very specific vocation and it's a vocation that requires a lot of dedication. His entire being is in it. And he’s on another continent from the rest of his family and he’s been there for decades. And when my grandparents, both of his parents passed away he wasn’t able to come to their funerals. And when he passes away he will be buried in an unmarked grave within the monastery. So his belief and how strong his belief is, and what he gets from God is something that I’ve never seen from anyone else. But I can tell that it gives him a lot of strength, and I can tell that he is really called to do it. I guess you know there is a relation in this story, quite clearly to God and you know, what role that plays in everyone’s lives that's met him and what role that plays in his life. And I don’t know, it's interesting because I am 22 at this point, I haven’t necessarily found my way or found an answer in my own mind as to whether I believe in a higher being and what that might be, what religion might be “right”, and all of these different answers. But his devotion is very inspirational to me, and I find I pull a lot from it. I don’t know how to encapsulate my relationship with him and what he means, but I will say that I love him and I find him inspirational in a lot of senses. I’m excited to see him again at some point, hopefully in the near future. I’d like to go alone maybe the next time, I think that would be interesting and beneficial Previous Next

< Back Wayne's Story Wayne reflects on his 50‑year friendship with Jim Wilcox, a mentor and dear friend whose discipline, love of learning, and interest in play deeply impacted his life. 00:00 / 04:21 Wayne: Today, I'd like to talk about a dear friend of mine and a person who has been important in my life and I've been lucky to know him for over 50 years. So his name is James Wilcox. Jim Wilcox, I know him as Jim. He was a professor of the humanities at Boston University for over 40 years. And I got to know him when I was 17 years old, playing tennis. We became good friends during that time, talking about tennis and how to get better and started drilling. But also we started talking about books and films and things we liked. We played more and more, like every summer I was off, of course, and then he was off from his job as professor. So we get together many days during the week and exercise the whole morning, getting in shape and talking about things, talking about ideas. But then, I was applying to grad school to get into a teaching program. He became sort of my informal mentor all through graduate school and then all through my teaching career. And we continue to play tennis all those years. So Jim just was an inspiration, for many reasons. So I admire his discipline in learning and, and getting to understand ideas. So he taught at the college of General Studies at BU and that's designed for kids who kind of struggle academically, which he did. And even in college, he was not a good student, he said. But then he went into the military, came out of the military, went back to school and became a really disciplined and good student. I admire his drive to keep learning, always learning, always trying to improve himself and learn new things, see more connections. And I just, I admire him so much for being fascinated by ideas, fascinated by the arts. But I also really am inspired by his interest in play, play as a way to learn. In fact, I have this memoir when he was given like four months to live. He dedicated a lie to all his friends at the beginning. And he says, Wayne, Nietzsche taught us that in every man, there's a boy who wants to go out and play. I think we did a good job of letting the boy get his playtime. All those great games we played over the years and all those great conversations about ideas, could it have been any better? I don't think so. Jim. He retired from teaching at BU at 79 years old, got surgery on his neck, and that went bad. He couldn't basically take in food through his esophagus, and he almost died. But I saw him in his rehab. He was not in his room at all. He spent his time in the common room. He'll take weights and lift weights, so he's exercising even then. And so he came back from that, and actually, we’d play tennis together. And we played together for a few more years. And then he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and he was given four months to live. So that's when he rushed out his memoir and that's when he went on a clinical study. And so he got all his affairs in order. But then, the clinical study was successful. Eight years later, he's still alive. He's 91 years old. So he wrote this memoir for his friends and family, then he wrote a memoir for his students. And to this day, he continues to write a letter. So every week I get a letter concerning what he's reading about, what he's thinking about or what he's watching for movies, but it's a little lecture basically. So he's still teaching. And, you know, it's interesting, it’s 21 years between us. Some people say, well, how can you be friends with someone that much older than you? But the distance and age didn't matter. We just talked about things that were of common interest. So I think he has a great way of connecting with lots of different people. Interviewer: If Jim was to remember you in one specific way, how would you want Jim to remember you? Wayne: There was one book he gave me, he wrote, you know, to me, to Wayne, who lives among people rather than between them. That idea, really the way he lived his life and worked with people and talk with people, enjoy people, I think I was trying to emulate that too. Because I, you know, I admire his resilience and his dedication to learning and drive to play and enjoy things, but also the drive to to be better at what he's doing. So he's been such an influence on my life all these years, I'm so lucky to have had him. And I just wanted to talk about him, to pay tribute to him and to give thanks to him. Previous Next

< Back Juli's Story Juli speaks with Jacqueline about her time at summer camp as a kid. At this camp, Juli met someone who didn’t fit in. But Juli learned how a little kindness could go a long way. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 02:06 Yeah I think I dont know how old I was maybe 10 years old and it was ya know mostly I went to summer camp ya know girl scout camps but it was a camp at the end of camp um they always had this big camp fire at the end of the week at camp and everyone would come and they gave an award it was like a good citizen award to the person who best exemplified the values of ya know camping and girl scouting and I got the award It shocked me cause I didnt feel like I distinguished myself in anyway at that point i didnt really excel as a student when was young it wasnt until i got older but um and I relaized and I had to think about it for a few minutes why did they give me this and i think it was because there was a girl who was assigned to my tent that year and I always went by myself I didnt know other campers and it wa a tent with 4 cots one of th egirsl was um she was clearly from a poor family probably there on a grant and um she was very awkward very awkward physically and socially and ya know just had a hard time fitting in ya know and that was clear to me and the other 2 girls in our tent wanted absolutely nothing to do with her and so I always made sure ya know when we go out for walks in the woods wed have to have a buddy and i would ask her to be my buddy and I made sure she wasnt sitting alone um at meal times um ya know I just tried to be kind with her even though i didnt really connect with her cause she wasn't easy to engage with but I just tried to be kind and I think thats why I got the award and it was an important lesson to me ya know the value of kindness Previous Next

< Back Luke's Story Luke shares a story about his uncle Peter who is a Carthuegen Monk in Slovenia. He talks about his personal relationship with Peter and how Peter inspires him in his own life. 00:00 / 04:43 I’m discussing my uncle Peter who is a Carthuegen Monk in Slovenia, which is a very small country just on the northern tip of Italy, and he’s been there for probably about 30 years and he will be almost 70 now he's in his mid to late 60s. To give a little background I guess on the setting it’s a very beautiful place Slovenia and especially where he is. One of my uncles once said that Slovenia is Europe’s best kept secret. It’s got rolling hills, and lots of vineyards. It’s a very picturesque place. Speaking on my personal relationship with him, I’ve met him three times, but the last two are pretty impactful on me I would say. He’s a very interesting character and someone I do think I admire a great deal. I met him when I was 10. I went with my father and I don’t remember a lot from that trip because that was 12 years ago at this point, but I do know that after that trip took place we started writing to each other, and we kept a correspondence consistently for the last 12 years. Peter’s a really great guy, a very joyful guy. I think it’s interesting because his characteristics or his personality goes against what a lot of people would consider a Monk to have. He’s very energetic. He’s very joyful. He’s talkative. Perhaps some of that has to do with the fact that he seeing family and he doesn’t get a chance to do that very often, but it did surprise me meeting him last year, because there is so much energy and passion and just brightness about him that I wouldn’t necessarily had pictured a monk having. Most of the time we stayed in the guest house, and just shared meals together and shared stories, but we did on one day go out. We left the monastery, and we, went into one of the popular towns, sat by a river, which it seemed almost like a beach club. There were restaurants and canoes you could rent and things like that. So we did that, we had a great time, and then went and got food at McDonalds. He was really happy I think to get a taste of America in a long time. There are stories, he’s told us stories about being rebellious even as a monk and what he’s, I guess expected to do. You are not supposed to leave the monastery. They have a weekly walk that they take together, but beyond that, they are only supposed to leave to go to doctor’s appointments to dentist appointments or something that’s really mandatory that they have to leave the cloister for. But, he tends to break away a little more if he can. I don’t think what he does I could do. It’s a very specific vocation and it's a vocation that requires a lot of dedication. His entire being is in it. And he’s on another continent from the rest of his family and he’s been there for decades. And when my grandparents, both of his parents passed away he wasn’t able to come to their funerals. And when he passes away he will be buried in an unmarked grave within the monastery. So his belief and how strong his belief is, and what he gets from God is something that I’ve never seen from anyone else. But I can tell that it gives him a lot of strength, and I can tell that he is really called to do it. I guess you know there is a relation in this story, quite clearly to God and you know, what role that plays in everyone’s lives that's met him and what role that plays in his life. And I don’t know, it's interesting because I am 22 at this point, I haven’t necessarily found my way or found an answer in my own mind as to whether I believe in a higher being and what that might be, what religion might be “right”, and all of these different answers. But his devotion is very inspirational to me, and I find I pull a lot from it. I don’t know how to encapsulate my relationship with him and what he means, but I will say that I love him and I find him inspirational in a lot of senses. I’m excited to see him again at some point, hopefully in the near future. I’d like to go alone maybe the next time, I think that would be interesting and beneficial. Previous Next

< Back Josh's Story Josh shares his dedication and identity to football at college and wanting to succeed in his athletic career, only to realize that it was taking him away from his academics. When Covid hit, which was brought with a year spent at home, he decided to change his focus from football towards his studies on Public Health. Leaving your past self may be hard, but it’s the sacrifice to limitless possibilities. 00:00 / 03:20 So at 18 I think, not that my head was in the wrong place but, now looking back I was definitely a little bit naive, I think. I was really obviously into football. I'd like that's where I kind of put all my time and energy. I was fortunate enough where I won a state championship with my team in my senior year so that kind of boosted not my ego but my like attention towards football and wanting to keep on having success in the sport. So I obviously ended up going to Springfield College right after graduation to go play football at the college you know after being there for a couple of months and just kind of interacting with the people there. I just kind of realized that like I wasn't really getting as much out of it then that I thought I was going to and I was like you know what I'd rather just commit the time that I was spending playing football just to focus purely on my academics at that point. So I decided that I was going to quit football which was kind of a big part of my identity at the time. I kind of had to learn how to you know take that part of myself and kind of let it be in the past. I would say fortunately but unfortunately enough by the time I realize that I was done playing football Covid became a thing and that was during the Spring of my freshman year so we all got sent home and that was kind of like the you know the nail in the coffin for my decision if there's any time to you know hang up the cleats now. I lived at home for about like a year and then at that time I transferred to you Umass. As my studies kind of kept on getting more in depth, I started to figure out that I really liked them my new major public health I you know I started to meet some new people and most of them were from you know the friends that I had for my hometown and I met their friends that they met up here. I would say that when it comes to you know now being 22 and graduating in a month I would say like the biggest difference from like now to when I was 18 in high school and like you know kind of just bullying and obsessed with football is that I kind of realized that education is definitely you know the ultimate way forward because you know I was just so into Sport and then I realized that we're all just lifelong learners and why limit myself and put time into you know a sport just entertain myself when I could go out and like learn something. My dad was my football coach in high school so he obviously kind of wanted me to keep on playing but he obviously had no like there's no pressure that came with like he wasn't going to force me to keep on playing. He would have liked it if I did but, he was totally supportive that I decided I wasn't going to play anymore. Previous Next

< Back Betsy's Story Betsy talks with Brenda about a spontaneous trip that changed her life. She talks about her wonderful experiences and a noteworthy figure that she meets on this trip. Returning from her trip, she decides to pull inspiration from her time away when opening a small store in Northampton. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 04:58 Previous Next

< Back Norma's Story Norma talks about how she found herself in the later stages of life identifying with something new- being an athlete. She talks about the skills she has acquired through this sport apply on the water and in her personal life as well. Listen to Norma’s journey to discovering one of her new passions of whitewater kayaking. 00:00 / 03:39 Interviewer: Norma, I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit of how you first got interested in the sport of whitewater kayak. Norma: Well, I loved water since I was a little kid, I was the one that was not afraid to just jump right in there, but um, I grew up with EDD so my parents were not real happy about letting me go near water. So it may have been making up for lost time but I actually started canoe camping with some friends after my divorce, and that was wonderful. But then, one of those friends and we decided to take on a whitewater workshop just let us to be able to let us tackle a few more rivers that had some little rapids on them, and I just got hooked on that. So I took some lessons, started going out with Appalachian Mountain clubs and other groups like that. I do that all spring, summer and fall pretty much. I feel like I have not come as far as I might have because I just don’t get out enough. But it’s really about practice and not being scared, not giving up, you know there is a lot of discouragement, but you got to push through that. Sometimes you just feel like ‘I’ll never get through this’ but gradually, you do, getting a feel of balancing in the little boat and maneuvering what sometimes are quite subtle shifts of your weight and leans, it was not an automatic process getting used to that but I finally have it, more or less. So that’s, you know, every little step is empowering, it’s really special because when I was a child I was not athletic at all, I was more like the kid that got picked last for the volleyball team, or got sent out into the out field, so I never identified as an athlete at all. But now I have discovered what that feels like, to be active, and enjoy it and think about skills, and pick up skills. It's a whole different outlook. It’s a rapid on a particular river that they say its a mile of continuous rapids and of course when I first ran into it, I was just like “Let’s just get through this” boom, right along, and then people said, try some turns, try to stop and rest and look at what is ahead of you, and see what’s coming, and I mean, that kind of applied to anything in life, you know. If you stop, and rest, and get calm, and look outward a bit, then you’re going to do better. And it’s like a puzzle, you know, you’re working your muscles but you’re also thinking of it like an obstacle course, like, how am I going to get through this rapid? Or what do I need to avoid, where do I need to be? And then execute that. I think that’s good for the brain, I hope it will help me as I get older, and I hope I can keep at it as I get older. That is a worry but, I really hope so. Previous Next