Wayne's Story

Wayne: Today, I'd like to talk about a dear friend of mine and a person who has been important in my life and I've been lucky to know him for over 50 years. So his name is James Wilcox. Jim Wilcox, I know him as Jim. He was a professor of the humanities at Boston University for over 40 years. And I got to know him when I was 17 years old, playing tennis. We became good friends during that time, talking about tennis and how to get better and started drilling. But also we started talking about books and films and things we liked.

We played more and more, like every summer I was off, of course, and then he was off from his job as professor. So we get together many days during the week and exercise the whole morning, getting in shape and talking about things, talking about ideas.

But then, I was applying to grad school to get into a teaching program. He became sort of my informal mentor all through graduate school and then all through my teaching career. And we continue to play tennis all those years. So Jim just was an inspiration, for many reasons. So I admire his discipline in learning and, and getting to understand ideas.

So he taught at the college of General Studies at BU and that's designed for kids who kind of struggle academically, which he did. And even in college, he was not a good student, he said. But then he went into the military, came out of the military, went back to school and became a really disciplined and good student. I admire his drive to keep learning, always learning, always trying to improve himself and learn new things, see more connections. And I just, I admire him so much for being fascinated by ideas, fascinated by the arts.

But I also really am inspired by his interest in play, play as a way to learn. In fact, I have this memoir when he was given like four months to live. He dedicated a lie to all his friends at the beginning. And he says, Wayne, Nietzsche taught us that in every man, there's a boy who wants to go out and play. I think we did a good job of letting the boy get his playtime. All those great games we played over the years and all those great conversations about ideas, could it have been any better? I don't think so. Jim.

He retired from teaching at BU at 79 years old, got surgery on his neck, and that went bad. He couldn't basically take in food through his esophagus, and he almost died. But I saw him in his rehab. He was not in his room at all. He spent his time in the common room. He'll take weights and lift weights, so he's exercising even then.

And so he came back from that, and actually, we’d play tennis together. And we played together for a few more years. And then he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and he was given four months to live. So that's when he rushed out his memoir and that's when he went on a clinical study. And so he got all his affairs in order.

But then, the clinical study was successful. Eight years later, he's still alive. He's 91 years old. So he wrote this memoir for his friends and family, then he wrote a memoir for his students. And to this day, he continues to write a letter. So every week I get a letter concerning what he's reading about, what he's thinking about or what he's watching for movies, but it's a little lecture basically. So he's still teaching.

And, you know, it's interesting, it’s 21 years between us. Some people say, well, how can you be friends with someone that much older than you? But the distance and age didn't matter. We just talked about things that were of common interest. So I think he has a great way of connecting with lots of different people.

Interviewer: If Jim was to remember you in one specific way, how would you want Jim to remember you?

Wayne: There was one book he gave me, he wrote, you know, to me, to Wayne, who lives among people rather than between them. That idea, really the way he lived his life and worked with people and talk with people, enjoy people, I think I was trying to emulate that too. Because I, you know, I admire his resilience and his dedication to learning and drive to play and enjoy things, but also the drive to to be better at what he's doing.

So he's been such an influence on my life all these years, I'm so lucky to have had him. And I just wanted to talk about him, to pay tribute to him and to give thanks to him.