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Katherine's Story Katherine talks about her family heritage and values and how that impacted her views on the world. She discusses how her upbringing and playing music with her siblings brings them closer together. Katherine also details how the values that she was raised with are still instilled in her and are instilled in her children as well. Scroll to listen Katherine's Story 00:00 / 04:28 My family of origin story comes from both my parents who told me the stories of how they grew up and their parents and grandparents. For my parents, their families were very important. Both of them came from English backgrounds and they were farmers. They raised cattle, they kept the sense of animals and planting even when we no longer lived on a farm, but it is important. That is part of my family theme and values is to be really connected to the land and animals. When we were growing up our values always had to do with good health, lots of exercise, and taking care of your pets before you took care of yourself. Who needed your support and help before you were doing your own thing? Values really had to do with honoring family and being totally transparent and honest about what was going on with you, being a good communicator that was kind of a core family value, and doing your best. I have 4 siblings, all about 2 years apart. It was very organized, our lives were very very organized, I guess you have to when you have a big family like that – my parents were both teachers so they expected us to have a certain routine to get up and make our beds, practice and do homework, we all had to keep track of what we were responsible for. We all played instruments, we all had to practice, my mom would start the egg timer for about an hour before we went to school, we had to practice our instruments. As we grew up and we left home, and we went to college and got jobs and got married and had our own children the relationship with all of them at the time have change over time. In that period, it was really important for our kids to know each other so that now as they are adults and they have families, they have cousins that they feel quite connected to which is kind of wonderful, we do a lot of sharing of our lives together. We all go to the same island in Maine in the summer, so 3 of my siblings built and also my family too we built our own little houses there, kind of near the log cabin so that more of us could be there at the same time. It’s a wonderful place for family gatherings and lunch picnics on the rocks, swimming in the quarries and biking around the island, lots of fun things we do together. I take my violin and my younger brother plays the cello, brings his cello, my sister is a singer, but she also plays the keyboard too. It's really fun to play together, we often say wouldn’t our mother be delighted because she's the one who made us practice, its paid off for her because we are still doing it. The basic values that I learned from them I think are still there, are still the core values, but we do keep connected, that’s important. We now passing on the cabin in Maine, the log cabin to our own children so that means the cousins will have to figure out how to work together to keep the boats in good shape and keep the cabins clean and enjoy that place with their children, with our grandchildren. It's kind of a multigenerational process in Maine and that’s where I keep connected to my sibling's. It has been fun as we met and talked to explore family a little but because that to me is the most important set of relationships certainly that I have and I think that most people have, my kids probably pass on the same values to their children too Things that they learned as they were growing up, they keep connected through each other, keeping connected and learning through each other is just really really important no matter what the ups and downs of one's life might be.

Barbara S's Story Barbara shares her story of becoming the owner of a bookstore, specializing in antique books. She shares memories from these years including her knowledge of books. Scroll to listen Barbara S's Story 00:00 / 04:14

Ngozi's Story Ngozi Okeke talks to Tamar Shadur about traveling to Nigeria, dad's special pancakes, and how she would like to be remembered Scroll to listen Ngozi's Story 00:00 / 02:15

< Back Joan's Story Joan shares the story of adopting her daughter from Russia. She talks about what adoption is like and some of the struggles that come with adoption. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 03:31 I’m Joan Oleck, and my daughter whom I adopted in 1996 in Russia is now 26 years old. I ended up adopting Anya through an agency in Russia that had a connection with Spence-Chapin back in New York where I was living, and that connection was open to single women adopting which was still kind of unusual back then. So, I jumped on it. My grandparents had emigrated from Russia, what was then Russia in the nineteenth century and I had always loved Russian culture so it was a good fit for me. I passed all of the screenings I had to do. In October of 96, I traveled to Russia with another couple who were also adopting from the same orphanage. I got a tiny little baby, just five pounds, very undernourished and I named her Anya. And on the car ride back, 200 miles back to Moscow, she was on my lap, somehow I picked up on the fact that she wanted to look out the window. So I picked her up and held her against the window, and she, you know, quieted down and that was a very sweet moment. We were passing a lot of birch trees and a lot of American towels that people hung in their yards to sell for some reason. Anyway, that week will stay in my memory forever. Ali: What is something that you wish more people knew about adoption? Joan: That aside from the genetic issues, because sometimes, you know you need to see if you can match on a kidney or stem cells or whatever. That aside from that, that child is as much yours as if you had given birth to her or him. And I just really want people to understand that. You know when Anya was a little kid, kids would come up to her and say, “Well who’s your real mom?” and she’d go “Joan is my real Mom, that’s the only Mom I’ve ever had”, even though she and I were in touch with her birth family and exchanged letters for several years. I want people to know that these children have feelings. I, on the other hand, told Anya as soon as she could understand “you are from a country called Russia, here it is on the map”, and everytime Anya heard Russia on the news, she’d go “Mommy! They just said "Russia, where I’m from!”, and she was always very comfortable with it as a result. I was very fortunate to be adopting at a time when single women were slowly being accepted as adopted parents, and the same thing was happening with gay couples. At the time being 97’ 98’, I wrote a widely disseminated piece for a platform called Solan, and it won a national award, just interviewing singles and gay couples who were adopting, and just about the discrimination against them. To this day, it still remains that some church groups in Southern states block gay couples from adopting which is terrible because a loving family of any kind is what any child needs. It doesn't really matter what kind of family. If there’s love, there’s love. Previous Next

Jesse's Story Jesse shares a story with Kelly about his trip to Bhutan and the lessons helearned from his Buddhist practice. Scroll to Listen Jesse's Story 00:00 / 03:09 I've been a Buddhist my whole life. And I had been working with a teacher who had a very big impact on my life. I studied with him for about 13 years and he died in 1987. And I was kind of grieving and wondering, you know, where do I go from here? I felt kind of lost. I just had this idea of going on a retreat, maybe not a retreat, but a pilgrimage, to Bhutan, which is nearIndia. And because that was a place where he had spent some time and it had a very powerful impact on him; it changed his life. So I figured I'd go there and just experience that place as he did. I didn't want to do it alone. It's just that I don't like traveling alone. So I looked for some of these tours, that were going to Bhutan, which there aren’t many of because it is kind of out of the way. And it's kind of expensive to get there. So I was looking for some tours, and I found one in a Buddhist magazine. These people went exactly where I wanted to go. They're going to India and Bhutan and Nepal. And the guide was a Buddhist painter. It sounded interesting to me. And I contacted them and signed up. There were about 10 of us on the trip. And they were all Sufis for some reason. They were American Sufis and their main goal was going to India, where they had a temple that they were going to. My main goal was to visit a particular monastery where he spent time in Bhutan called Taktsang monastery. And it's just on a cliff. It's just like a flat cliff.And it's this, these buildings on the side of it are quite amazing. It's a very disorienting place because you're up on the side of a cliff, you know, and you just like space all around you. So it's quite remarkable. I almost didn't make it. I got sick in India. And I was in bed for a couple of days. And I was really worried that I wasn't going to make it to this monastery because that was the whole goal of this trip. You know, I was really getting kind of bummed out. But the fever broke. And the next day I was able to get up and go and we hiked up, it's about a three hour hike up to the monastery. And I was really hurting. And you know, I've been sick in bed for a couple of days. I was dehydrated. It was a tough climb. But luckily there were some horses that were going up and down to the monastery. And a fellow was with one of the horses and he just took a look at me. He goes, “Want to ride the horse?” And I agreed to do it. It took me up most of the way if not all the way, but most of the way, and I was able to get there in spite of being really sick. I beat most of them up there because of the horse. I don't know exactly how tall it is. But it's pretty steep. The monastery in the distance and it's up on this cliff. The closer you get the more you see these paths right along the edge of the cliff. It's pretty wild. It wasn't that scary. No, it was always a fairly wide path. You have these VISTAs you could see forever but it wasn't actually treacherous. It looked hard to get to but it wasn't that hard to walk there.

Liam's Story Liam talks about a scene in the movie Tampopo and discusses the differences in how people consume media and how media can be interpreted differently depending on the viewer. Scroll to listen Liam's Story 00:00 / 03:22 0:00 I am going to talk about a specific scene in a specific movie that is now over 30 years old. But that means a lot to me. The movie is called Tampopo. The director is juzo Itami. The scene I want to talk about is about a family. We are introduced to the first member of the story, as we see a man running past the end of one of the stories that we've just seen. And we see him run down the street, we see him run along the train track, he runs up his stairs, and he gets to what we assume to be the door of his house bulldozes in and we see in his house, there are three children, a man, we suppose is a doctor and a woman who we suppose is a nurse. Lastly, there is also a woman lying on a makeshift bed or roll on the ground, he runs in and by his tone, we can tell that the woman is sick, and that she perhaps has been for a long time he runs over to her and he says, stay with me, you can't die. And he says do something, sing do anything. And he hits the floor and he says don't make dinner. And the woman slowly rises and gets up and walks over to the kitchen. Kind of absent mindedly grabbing a knife and some spring onions. And she cuts them up, puts them in a pan puts other things and we see the family viewing this and we see the children because they know what to do have already gotten their bowls and have moved to the table we see the older sister setting things out for her youngest sibling, the mother or then comes back with this steaming bowl of food places on a table. And we see all of the hands come in and start serving themselves. However we see the mother first serve the youngest child. After that, they all start eating and the husband looks up and says it's really good. It's delicious. And we see her smile. She slowly falls over. And the doctor pronounces her dead. The oldest daughter screams and comforts her youngest sibling, the father yells essentially Eat it while it's hot. This is the last meal that your mother made for you. 2:22 And we see the middle child, the boy kind of watching his father and doing the same thing. And then the scene cuts out. And it's over. And it's three minutes. I think a lot of the scenes kind of just pass by and spectacle. And so because of that the more intimate and caring scenes really stick out because you're kind of forced to sit with it and sit with what you've just watched. It's It's interesting how we consume media, and how we all come at it from our own different little lens. But for me, I think the scene that I described sticks out a lot because, you know, I think we're all able to see different parts of us in film. And it's interesting, because I think I relate pretty heavily to the characters in this scene specifically, my mom is still alive. You know, she's had different illnesses and different things that have kind of made this film stick out. This is one of the only scenes in a film that's ever I think really made me emotional.

Laura's Story In this story, Laura reflects on her connection to modern dance and how it has followed her throughout her life. Scroll to Listen Laura's Story 00:00 / 05:28 Laura: I believe I was four and my mother in a creative movement class that was in the basement of this teacher’s home. She was just magical to me. She—her name was Roslyn Fidel. I have very vivid memories of being in this class at age four and growing like a flower, leaping over rivers, and just the magic of being in the presence of this captivating figure—this dance teacher. So, it never stopped after that. We moved further out of Long Island, and my mother found another wonderful teacher of modern dance. In my—I guess maybe my junior year—I would start taking the Long Island railroad into the city to take classes at the 92nd Street Y. In my senior, I started dancing with one of these pioneers of modern dance, his name was Charles Weidman, and would be in these performances on Friday nights. And then I became a dance major at Ohio State but didn’t last because I actually became ill with anorexia and left school and then there were different steps to where ended up. I was in very bad shape and this dance teacher from my teen years called me, and she said that she had heard another of the students in that group was at the University of Wisconsin and she was studying something called dance therapy. And she thought I might be interested in. She had heard I was having a hard time. So, within a week, I was enrolled at NYU in their dance therapy program. And it was such a lifesaver for me because I had been—there was such conflict, such yearning to dance; and I was so depressed and unable to dance; I didn’t have the strength, and it felt so far away—as soon as I walked into that first class of dance therapy I realized—I discovered that I could bring dance back into my life in a way that would also help other people and be really meaningful and meet me where I was at a person and give me this future. Dance actually didn’t end up becoming my main career. Actually, I got a master’s degree in social work. I managed to through missing dance and feeling that social work was never the appropriate—the best—career for me, I was not one to sit in a chair. I managed to discover a way to continue to dance indirectly through the social work because I was working with elders and discovered there was woman who—Liz Lerman—who had an intergenerational dance company. I saw a picture of her dancing with these older dancers in this Swan Lake lineup, and I was just captivated. You know, I once wrote something about this question of growing older as a dance. When I—often times—and it used to happen maybe more, I would dream about dance. Actually, I just had a dream where I could do amazing things in my dream. I could fly into the stars. I would take off from the ground and sail and wouldn’t come down—things like that. So, I had written this—it was an article actually for a magazine about growing older as a dancer, and this hope that those images when I closed my eyes and dream, that I would still have that capacity to conjure those. That they would still come to me. Because I think the imaginable life—the dream life—is another life and maybe that would be something that would be a gift in my dying days.

Caleigh's Story Caleigh reflects on the importance of becoming a role model for her five-year-old niece, Natalie. Being there for her as she grows up is something extremely important to Caleigh. Scroll to Listen Caleigh's Story 00:00 / 02:37 Caleigh: I just love stories in general anyways because it makes people who maybe would have never interacted realize their shared humanities. I just want say a story that I heard in class—It was a story in class about a young man who welcomed a little brother into his world, and he realized that this world was no longer about him and he wasn’t just a big brother, he was a role a model. Everything he accomplished and everything he strived for wasn’t only for himself but to set a good example for his brother. When I read that story in class it made me think of my five-year-old niece, Natalie, and we are very close. She’s my whole world, I love her so much. After reading that story, I took a step back and I was like, “who am I as an auntie and how does she see me?” She looks up to me, she mimics me, she wants to be just like me, she always wants to spend time with me, and it made me think about what kind of person do I want her looking up to? I am no longer just an auntie, but I am setting a good example for her. I want to show her that she is capable of anything she sets her mind to. I am the first one in my family to go to college and I would love to be a role model for her to see, you know, auntie goes to college, and I can do it and I want to be just like her. And through just reading that story of the man—the boy—who welcomed his brother in the world, it just connected me and him and we’ve never met. I hope that everything that I’ve learned in my 20 and a half years—today is my half birthday—I want to share those experiences with her so that she doesn’t make some of the mistakes that I’ve made, but also that she can follow in my footsteps because I feel like I am a great role model for her. That’s—you know—I have two older brothers. I never really had a female role model, other than my mom, someone that was closer to my age, so in a way we are so close, and I’ve been with her since she was in the womb.

Susy's Story Susy’s adventurous, independent lifestyle quickly transitioned into a nurturing one when she found herself longing for a baby. After adopting her son from Peru, she instantly knew she had made the right choice. Scroll to Listen Susy's Story 00:00 / 03:04 I chose as my major transition going from achievement orientated, professional, thriving and that’s all that was important to me to becoming a mother! It totally transformed me on many levels. I belonged to a support group that was a career support group for people that wanted to change careers. It was an intense support group and we had a retreat at my house and after about a day, the leader of the group who was a social worker said to me ‘you know, Susan, I see you’re interested in your work but what we’re hearing from you is you really want a baby.’ So, I began this journey and I chose adoption to have my baby… I got the call I’d been waiting for. I even feel emotional saying it but I had decided to adopt from Peru in South America and my contact called me from Peru. She said to me ‘hi Susan, how do you feel about boy babies?’ I just sat there and some inner voice said to me ‘just sit here quietly and think but don’t say anything’ so that’s what I did. It just came out of my heart when I said ‘sure. Boy babies are fine!’ My whole body was on getting this child. Um, my real mothering began when I found myself in front of the sink washing bottles and changing diapers and wondering how I was going to feed myself. But nevertheless, I was enchanted and obsessed but the mothering journey began and it continues today. The real challenge is how to keep up–it’s been the challenge all along and it still is–the real challenge is how to keep up with your child’s transitions from infant hood to–you know, you have to change to mothering with every level and it still continues, of course. My son graduated from college and began working and he became an adult! Now when I’m ill he comes to take care of me so that’s a transition. So, um, it’s like a whole other level of living. I wouldn't have missed this for the world…

< Back Taylor's Story Taylor talks about transitioning into UMass as a transfer student and finding her passion for Public Health. She found that public health captures all the things she loves including caring for others. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 02:43 I first intended to go into nursing, so when I was in highschool I was applying to colleges and I only was applying for nursing. So I got into Quinnipiac University for nursing and that’s where I went my freshman year. I wanted to do that because I wanted to do something taking care of people, that was really important to me and I grew up with three younger siblings, I always liked caring for others, especially children. So, I thought that nursing aligned with my beliefs and what I wanted to do. And then I went to nursing school and I didnt love it. So, I just kind of relieved that yes it's helping people but I would rather be on the administrative end and also I didn't love the school that I was going to, I didn’t feel a sense of community. I was trying to find a different school to go to, and my best friend went to school at UMass so I would come and visit her and I ended up liking the school a lot better. So I transferred here but I couldn’t transfer for nursing, and I was still interested in nursing at the time, but I wasn’t completely sold on it yet. So, I transferred and I was like I just want to do something in health care, I don’t really care what it is, So I just kind of picked public health and was like we’ll figure this out and if I need to change programs I will later. And so, I went into public health, my first class was my public health 200 class with Gloria, the professor of this class also, and it was basically an intro to public health and I immediately was like, yep this is what I want to do, this is helping people and doing something in health care, but it’s not nursing and I know that’s not what I want to do. This is exactly what I want. And then, I took a community health development class and I knew that that would be much more of the direction that I would like to go in than nursing. Going into college, or at least me graduating highschool, I had the expectation that I would know what I wanted to do and that I would stick to it and that nothing was gonna change about it, and that I was gonna be a nurse, and you know, graduate and be a nurse. So the fact that didn’t work out, part of me was a little disappointed because I was like, oh I thought this was what I wanted to do, but I think that was part of me figuring out what I wanted to do and who I am. And learning to trust the process, I think was a big thing. And trust yourself! Yeah, definitely. Previous Next

Emily W's Story Emily W talks to Emily L about how the feminist movement has shaped her growing up and how the culture of women's liberation influenced her ideologies and life. Scroll to Listen Emily W's Story 00:00 / 04:39 The feminist movement which was then mostly called Women's liberation movement was a major civil rights movement when I was growing up in the sixties and seventies. In high school I started paying attention to national leaders like Gloria Steinem in particular, who had started Miss Magazine which was kind of the first thing that was called a women's magazine that wasn't about housekeeping and cooking and among many other things she said that women needed to recognize and fight for the right for recognition and equality, the idea that women were equal. It seems like such common sense, but it wasn't people didn't always act as if that was common sense. In a lot of ways I felt that my whole life, but especially when I went to college I went to a women's college, Wilson college in Pennsylvania and I learned academically some of the things that I was picking up from the culture from women's liberation, things about, you know women have always been pioneers, but our history has been often hidden either accidentally or on purpose. Certain women have always defied the norms and excelled but they have not always been celebrated. Just that there were a lot of hidden stories of women, both individual and national. So feminism made me question a lot of the norms that I've grown up with. I certainly was never told as a kid that I wasn't equal to a man. I was always told well you can do whatever you want to do. But the culture saw until I grew up with these sort of Unthinking things around the T. V. Ads magazines. And that in my hometown was the college that my mom went to which was this women's college. It turned out to be one of the best things I've ever done in my life. When I got there I realized-- I mean it's sort of like my intellectual life took off. There were certainly efforts made by most of the professors to bring women's history or whatever into the curriculum. So in some way I definitely got more academic knowledge than I might have been at another school. But mainly it was just being around all women and when women have all the opportunities women take all the roles. So it was nobody saying you can do this. It was just if you wanted to do it you did it. And so it wasn't political at all. It was just like learning by doing oh you can do anything, you really can do anything. The baseline assumptions have changed considerably and it's much more than the norm for women to have a choice of how they lived their lives. That's kind of the bedrock change. So I think the biggest change probably is that the assumption of inferiority since it and it wasn't all that women couldn't do as good a job at things but there was always the assumption that you probably didn't even want to give women a chance in the workplace or anything serious because they would get married and or have kids and then leave, and so therefore you really needed to give men the opportunities that we're serious. And I don't think that happens as much. There's still some of it, but I don't think nearly as much overall about feminism, it's certainly not a big hot topic today and the way that it was when I was growing up, but I think although there's so much more to be done, it's okay that it's not a hot topic because it doesn't need to be in quite the same way that second wave feminism, which is the era that I grew up, made some progress and therefore feminism for a lot of people could be put on the back burner because men and women and people of other genders just sort of take it far more likely to take it for granted that, of course everybody has self determination. So I don't personally take any credit for that, but I think my generation as a whole, and the generation just before me, um, can take some some credit for kicking up a lot of fuss and making things happen.

Barbara S's Story Barbara discusses a life changing event from her childhood and again, in her younger years that ultimately, led her to find her love for the Pioneer Valley. Scroll to Listen Barbara S's Story 00:00 / 03:10 Eden: “Was there a turning point in your life where you made a major life change that has brought you to where you are today?” Barbara: “Being 69 years old, there are quite a few but I think the one that brought me up here to the Pioneer Valley is the most changing for the positive… so the train is moving along and we jumped off with our backpacks but it was higher than I thought and it was gravel. Something felt wrong after that so to speed forward a little bit, from that Summer on I could not lie flat. Every once in a while I would have a spasm. I found myself in the mid-70s working and managed a news bookshop in New Haven, Connecticut called ‘whitlocks’. We were changing the whole format of the shop over and what I remember is there were these big old fashioned desks. We were trying to put one on top of the other to try to make more room and as I did this I felt something– all I can say is– go. I ended up in bed for five months. During that time, I had a lot of time to think and a lot of time to read all these books on natural history from the bookshop and I had decided to apply to go to college. I graduated in 1970 and hadn’t gone so I applied to a few places that had wildlife biology. UMass in Amherst accepted me quite quickly and gave me a scholarship for the first year. So I moved up here and I went up the highway and there’s a place where you can see the hills that’s actually a bit obscured by trees now but you can see it's the Holyoke Range and I love mountains. I belt at them and experience that feeling of coming home. It’s been wonderful living up here in the valley. 10 years I’ve been in Amherst and the last 35 years I’ve been on the other side of the river in Northampton. It was a good move for me, a very good move. And for the last 35 years I’ve been an antiquarian bookseller. That’s where it finds me now, I’ve been selling old books, old postcards, etc.. Eden: “That’s awesome!”